I have not really had a lot happen over the past few days, not anything worth telling about anyway.
I have needed to get something off my chest to someone so I have done that and I feel better for it regardless of any possible consequences, I just don’t care anymore!
My 42nd birthday looms ever closer and I am just a little apprehensive about it not knowing what is going to happen and, because I am not arranging it, I almost feel obligated to enjoy myself regardless of whether or not I actually do! Maybe next year I should arrange my own birthday celebrations.
Having Jermaine in respite for only 6 hours a day is pointless, it isn’t enough to do anything meaningful at all but we are trying all the same.
Still hoping I can get us off to GC but had the most awful thoughts about it last night. I was wondering how well the other gay guys are going to take me having kids with me at the bars? Will we be picked on negatively by the drag queens or will they just accept us as we are? I had visions of being asked to leave because guys were feeling awkward. I just so hope that is not going to happen.
I also had another nightmare in which I believed we had another part to this house, quite a nice extra area downstairs where there were a few extra bedrooms, two of them were en suite. This is not the first time I have had that particular vision, sometimes it is a good dream and others, like last night, a nightmare. I wish I knew where it was. Is it somewhere I have been or somewhere I am yet to go? In last nights dream there was a connecting door to this area of the house and when I tried to push it open I felt some resistance like someone was pushing it from the other side. This actually seemed quite amusing at the time. I thought how oddly like someone pushing the door closed this felt though knowing it must just be the way the door was. So, wanting to share this humour I went and fetched Matt and together we pushed the door which was then pushed so hard back there was no doubt there was someone behind it silently preventing our entry and then I got real scared! Dreams eh?