I am Steve or Steven and, way back in the day, some called me Ste.
In ’63 I was born Harrington, in 1993 I changed it to Williams to move away from family issues and I got married in 2017 changing it again to Antipolo.
Mum & Dad split badly in 1985. I got married to ‘Lorna’ in 1986 just three weeks after mum died.
We had 4 children but divorced in 2001. I came out to her in 1987 and to just about everyone else in 1995 finally to several million people in 2000. You can see that experience in the video section with ‘This Morning’ and ‘My Gay Husband’.
I had a couple long term relationship but civil partnered with Deej in 2009 divorcing in 2012
In 2016 I met Dennis and we have been married since 2017
Originally from Dagenham in Essex, it’s a very different place now!
It seems like centuries ago now since I lived here. I actually left the town in 1981 I think it was, just after my 18th birthday. The image here is of my old school, Campbell Juniors, the only one of my schools I think is left standing.
I recall the many shops in the place simply known as ‘the shops’. The largest was Co-op supermarket which few went to. Other grocers were Key Markets and Leyroyds. The cheap knickers and pants place was Pollards with their yellow wooden boxes
Pesci had the fish bar. Near the end was the ‘News Box’ I think next to a proper hardware store where anything and everything was sold. They had a green grocer as well just up the way but mum generally used the stall by the library, I think she fancied the guy who worked there. There was a proper fish monger too but, too expensive so again, mum went to the market to get the fish, most often lives eels which were chopped whilst we waited.
Up the hill was the opticians … a few other stores too, I know mum and nan used the hairdressers up there. The lady who owned it was married to Sammy and he run the barbers where the men went. Speaking of where the men went …. there was a bookies up the top but down some stairs. Kids used to wait outside and the stink was awful. Somewhere between rotting carrots, BO and fag smoke!
On the top of the hill was the station and then, beyond that was ‘the other side’ and I only recall mum ever once going down that side for a shop. I also recall her getting disgusted by the price and service too and storming out, we didn’t go to ‘the other side’ unless it was to go to Parsloes Park where nan knew the lady who policed the play area and got her to open it up just for us each morning after we had watched the sunbeams on the paddling pool
If you wish to here what I call the soundtrack of my life it can be found on Youtube. However, here it is linked for you. General rule of it’s creation was that each track was either the UK number 1 on my birthday or retained the number one spot for 4 consecutive weeks https://steve-antipolo.blogspot.com/2023/03/the-soundtrack-of-my-life.html
18 Onwards
Well, I had my 18th actually still in Dagenham after which, that year I think or perhaps the next I moved to Basildon. Here follows the rapid roundup of 1981 – 1995
- Basically enjoyed life though, not the commute to London each day
- Fell in love with my first ever boyfriend, dated for two years in secret (It was illegal then)
- Fell in love with my one and only female love, got married
- Mum & Dad split up, absolute fucking mess!
- Mum died
- Got married
- Started having children
- Had bad car accident
- Had total physical and mental breakdown
- Changed name
- Moved to Northampton
1995 On
- Now have 4 kids, two handicapped
- Came out to everyone (see above)
- Lived weird life
- Got second boyfriend and third
- Started getting known in the media as an advocate for gay fathers
- Did a TV documentary, came out to a couple million more people
This selection is from ‘My Gay Husband’
The following pictures are from ‘This Morning’. Effectively we were called and asked to drive down to London, all expenses the night before and do the promotional show for the above documentary in the morning.
- Got divorced from wife, amicably
- Were victims of homophobic abuse, had to move
The picture above was a constant event for almost three years. Most windows were broken most of the time boarded up like the one on the left. The police were aware and actively colluded with the criminals. They did nothing, no circulars in the area for witness, no door to door enquiries, not a thing. Bloke nearby had his van broken into and we all got fliers about that but, not us. Eventually they installed a camera and recording equipment to get evidence. First thing they did was to go talk to the person who was behind it and say where the camera was to avoid being in shot. When questioned on why they did that they claimed that getting him a criminal record was not their objective. Eventually the local authority moved us for our own safety.
- Split with boyfriends 2 & 3, timing doesn’t matter
- Met & civil partnered number 4 guy
- Became a grandfather
- Went through absolute hell early 2010s
- Civil partnership dissolved
- Met a guy from Philippines, didn’t work out
- Met another guy from the Philippines, went there to visit, it didn’t work out
- Me another guy from the Philippines, met him, got engaged, got married
- Somewhere in the middle of that I picked up a horrible virus which created a horrible condition which I still have. (Not sexual I hasten to add)
- Worked in care home, domiciliary care and retail, eventually gave up as I could not stay awake.
- Been a struggle to get here but, here I am.
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