Yes, that’s me! I have no idea who I am any more so I must be some sort of fraud. I have no idea how to relax and enjoy myself, I am always on the go. I have no value ‘to me’. I know I am of value to others but I personally get very little out of my life now, just some rare, quiet thoughtful moments where some pleasure seeps in.

When it could seem I am enjoying myself my mind is still belting through trying to resolve other peoples issues, worrying about debt, worrying about what person or organisation is going to screw up next and give me more grief ‘I’ have to deal with.

It seems to me that when I am needed to do something I do it as soon as I can, nearly always as soon as asked and only very rarely have to refuse to do something. That only works the one way though, if I ask someone else to do something I can just about rely now on the belief it won’t be done.

I have been so busy being there for others I now have no room left for me. I am not exaggerating, I really don’t have an identity to me any more, I am just a husband, a dad, a friend, a client etc.

The only way that is going to change, if even it can, is if others change and, that means me asking and that, as I said before, means, it isn’t going to happen so … expect the usual queue for me, form it orderly, no pushing at the bank and, if anyone sees some short bloke, somewhere near the back who looks just like me fighting to get through, maybe once every now and then, let him through.

I need some serious pampering, some degree of ‘showing the love’ in more than words, words are cheap and are often worth even less, actions are the currency of caring.

Yes, that’s me! I have no idea who I am any more so I must be some sort of fraud. I have no idea how to relax and enjoy myself, I am always on the go. I have no value ‘to me’. I know I am of value to others but I personally get very little out of my life now, just some rare, quiet thoughtful moments where some pleasure seeps in.

When it could seem I am enjoying myself my mind is still belting through trying to resolve other peoples issues, worrying about debt, worrying about what person or organisation is going to screw up next and give me more grief ‘I’ have to deal with.

It seems to me that when I am needed to do something I do it as soon as I can, nearly always as soon as asked and only very rarely have to refuse to do something. That only works the one way though, if I ask someone else to do something I can just about rely now on the belief it won’t be done.

I have been so busy being there for others I now have no room left for me. I am not exaggerating, I really don’t have an identity to me any more, I am just a husband, a dad, a friend, a client etc.

The only way that is going to change, if even it can, is if others change and, that means me asking and that, as I said before, means, it isn’t going to happen so … expect the usual queue for me, form it orderly, no pushing at the bank and, if anyone sees some short bloke, somewhere near the back who looks just like me fighting to get through, maybe once every now and then, let him through.

I need some serious pampering, some degree of ‘showing the love’ in more than words, words are cheap and are often worth even less, actions are the currency of caring.

My apologies for not writing any updates in such a long while. Just recently my graphics card died in my PC leaving me off line as far as this blog is concerned, for some time. Not that this is the only reason I’ve not posted anything, that’s mainly for two reasons. Either, not a lot worth writing about has happened or, a lot has happened but it would be inappropriate to write about it on a public forum.

I have ordered a new car, did I blog that? It is a Ford Galaxy Titanium which is not the top of the range but the next one down. Hopefully it doesn’t take too long to arrive.

I am currently having issues with Key2/Social Services with Javis. They are playing their segregation game whereby they insist on only allowing people ‘on side’ into meetings. That way they can be more intimidating to youngsters and get them to cooperate easier in their crap. Of course, it now also means we don’t know what they are actually going to do to help Javis with his new flat which means I can’t do any budgeting either. I am also getting grief from Zoey’s Social Work team who are playing silly beggars and trying to take me for the fool. It’s the old trick, so old it’s boring … agree a package then decide that the client cannot cope with such a hefty package so reduce it. Everyone knows they are only reducing it to save money but, legally they can’t do that so they make up the same old crap. After that they play the ‘meetings’ game. This involves a series of delaying meetings where they offer nothing but attempt to blame the family for not being serious over the care which needs to be given else they’d have agreed a package right now rather than dispute what was on offer. After this they follow up with … ‘maybe the family is not the best place for the client?’ The thinking here is, get the family out of the way and then we can do the segregation method and basically do what we want.

Well, this is not going to work with Zoey, I know how the system operates and what they can and, more important, cannot get away with.

There have been some tensions at home which have really got me down of late. It’s hard work mediating between strong personalities but, as long as I can hold their respect I can help them. They are actually all great and amazing people who just need loads of loving. I do find it leaves me knackered loads though which is never good. A knackered dad could mean a dad who can’t help when it is really needed.

This weekend the lads went off on a weekend on the Norfolk Broads. Much fun was had by all and the weather was mostly good.

My apologies for not writing any updates in such a long while. Just recently my graphics card died in my PC leaving me off line as far as this blog is concerned, for some time. Not that this is the only reason I’ve not posted anything, that’s mainly for two reasons. Either, not a lot worth writing about has happened or, a lot has happened but it would be inappropriate to write about it on a public forum.

I have ordered a new car, did I blog that? It is a Ford Galaxy Titanium which is not the top of the range but the next one down. Hopefully it doesn’t take too long to arrive.

I am currently having issues with Key2/Social Services with Javis. They are playing their segregation game whereby they insist on only allowing people ‘on side’ into meetings. That way they can be more intimidating to youngsters and get them to cooperate easier in their crap. Of course, it now also means we don’t know what they are actually going to do to help Javis with his new flat which means I can’t do any budgeting either. I am also getting grief from Zoey’s Social Work team who are playing silly beggars and trying to take me for the fool. It’s the old trick, so old it’s boring … agree a package then decide that the client cannot cope with such a hefty package so reduce it. Everyone knows they are only reducing it to save money but, legally they can’t do that so they make up the same old crap. After that they play the ‘meetings’ game. This involves a series of delaying meetings where they offer nothing but attempt to blame the family for not being serious over the care which needs to be given else they’d have agreed a package right now rather than dispute what was on offer. After this they follow up with … ‘maybe the family is not the best place for the client?’ The thinking here is, get the family out of the way and then we can do the segregation method and basically do what we want.

Well, this is not going to work with Zoey, I know how the system operates and what they can and, more important, cannot get away with.

There have been some tensions at home which have really got me down of late. It’s hard work mediating between strong personalities but, as long as I can hold their respect I can help them. They are actually all great and amazing people who just need loads of loving. I do find it leaves me knackered loads though which is never good. A knackered dad could mean a dad who can’t help when it is really needed.

This weekend the lads went off on a weekend on the Norfolk Broads. Much fun was had by all and the weather was mostly good.