Today was like I was a basket ball dropped from a very tall damn. Started off briefly on a high then dropped to the bottom, bounced back up again, to the bottom, back up and so on eventually settling into a quiet calm.

Some parts of today have been absolute hell, others, very emotional and uplifting.

I only exchanged a few words with Dennis, he has a bad head and needed his bed, I wish I’d been there to sooth him though, if it was anything like the headaches I get, he’s have politely told me to go elsewhere!

Caroline did an absolutely awesome job with a great massage and reiki but more so with her understanding and friendship.

Robin gave me the left overs of his dinner which I had all on it’s on for my supper and it was gorgeous.

House peaceful though, I don’t much like empty. Watched an episode of Break Bad, not many to go now, 8 I think.

I went to the pharmacy earlier and picked up some sleeping tablets … to help me sleep.

This weekend I am taking a break from dealing with anything stressful, all light hearted stuff from now on .. until Monday which promises to be mega stressed but, that’s Monday!

The Care Manager for Zoey (social worker) decided Thursday morning that there was no reason to have a discussion about discharge as she had barely started her safeguarding investigation.

Though they try to deny it, this is effectively ‘them’ saying that they believe ‘we’ did something to harm Zoey and that’s why she ended up in hospital.

This is one of the most horrible things I have ever had to experience. I am trying really hard but I cannot see any good in what they are doing, it’s vindictive, it’s nasty and it is plain wrong!

Each day they seem to twist the knife in me more. I am fighting for what I know is right for my daughter and I am being made to feel like some sort of sordid criminal.

This should be one of the happiest most positive times of my life yet I feel so horribly low. No organisation or individual should have the power to do this to others, it is one of the worst cases of abuse of authority and it’s happening to us.

Just about the worst part is, none of them are telling Zoey they won’t let her go home, she genuinely thinks they’re going to let her come home soon. We all here feel that she should be home soon but, I am now convinced it is unlikely she will be home this year. I just keep seeing her optimistic face as we discussed her coming home the other day, she was so excited and looking forward to it. I am sickened that I am going to have to be the bad guy and tell her it isn’t going to happen and I have no idea when it might, if ever. I have totally failed my daughter. Anyone who says otherwise doesn’t understand parenting at all.

The Government are totally right on one thing, earning boosts the economy, on this basic fact there can be no dispute. Getting folk off benefits, including tax credits, and self sufficient in employment has to be the way to go but, he has it wrong, terribly wrong, damaging to the country wrong on the level of income people need to really make this a healthy top to bottom country.

The notion they have of making the rich richer and expecting it to filter down requires a mindset amongst the wealthy which simply doesn’t exist.

What is required is to make those at the bottom wealthier, not rich but they must have expendable income. Look, it’s obvious, anyone can understand it, except the government it seems, it’s economics.

If you pay Joe Public minimum wage, even a living wage and it just about covers his living needs so, his everyday costs such as utilities, rent/mortgage, TV and so on then he is no longer a burden on the country but then, he is also not a financial contributor either as he either pays nothing or very little in tax and a small amount of VAT.

Pay Joe Public more than he needs and he will spent it or save it. If he spends (most likely) then he will need product to buy. The more there are like our Joe the more product will be needed, the more workers will be needed to manufacture and sell that product. This creates employment. If those new employees also have more than they truly need to cover their costs then they too buy product which requires more workers to provide it, deliver it and sell it which requires more workers … with all this selling, companies make larger profits even on top of those extra wages, larger wages means more tax revenue.

The result is … huge extra tax revenue for the country, unemployment right down, benefit costs slashed, huge increased profits for companies and shareholders … everyone wins from this.

There is only one reason it doesn’t happen and that word is ‘greed’

Firstly, we are relying on those letters from you dear friends and family. We need to disprove what didn’t happen. There is an assumption floating around that Zoey wasn’t care for very well at home which was behind her presentation at the hospital and possibly her UTI.

They are trying to play down any thought that it might be an accusation but, at the same time they do describe it is a fact finding mission to make sure that the environment and care at home is suitable for Zoey. Now, to me that’s clearly saying they don’t believe the care she was getting was good enough but apparently they feel the two things are not the same.

This is why we need your input to tell them very politely, with great respect and understanding, what you think of our ability care for Zoey, whether she seemed happy at home or not. I am not going to tell you what to say, I want this to be your own words. Obviously if I thought you were going to write something negative I’d not be asking but, you must decide what you send in.

We spoke with the Care Manager the other day, she made it clear she wanted to reduce the budget Zoey currently gets, the hospital are horrified, they want it increased. I’ve asked nicely that whilst they argue it out can they not leave Zoey vulnerable where she is. There were other things sickening about what she passed on but I don’t want to mention them here because it will make this too long.

It is clear that the hospital did break the law on the 72 hours discharge rule. They tried to cover it up and fudge it but basically they forgot to pass the song book around and were not operating from the same one. I am prepared to let that go because of the concessions I achieved this morning.

I was in meetings from 10 – 1:15 both in person and on the phone without a break. They have agreed to have a professionals meeting on Thursday during which they will agree a discharge date. I have assurances from the hospital managers that they are going to fight our corner. I’ve told them I am willing to take them at their word. I honestly believe that dealing with things efficiently if informally is always quicker than going through official channels. They all indicated agreement that Zoey most likely is now ready to go home with an improved package and they will insist on the Care Manager providing that in a timely manner.

They have voice this is, in their way of thinking, next week but, reading reactions and body language I suspect we are looking more at the following week. For reasons I am not discussing in public, that is not the best timing, next week is far more preferred.

So, pens to paper, they must have these letters by Thursday morning at the latest. It might still be useful after that but by then would really make a difference.