So far today I have cleared up a lot of piss and I somehow doubt I am finished yet!

Jermaine has pissed on his bed three times so far which has meant three lots of bedding having to be washed. He won’t come downstairs and, well, probably for the best as he just seems to want to piss everywhere right now making no attempt to use the toilet at all.

That is three wet beds but he has pissed his clothes another two times as well.

I have washing backing up yet am concentrating purely on his mess.

The carers were here this morning. One arrived on time, the other was 10 minutes late and it took another 15 to tell them what to do and answer their questions so I was late by 25 minutes for my break.

The nurse was booked for midday but didn’t show until nearly 1pm by which time Jermaine had seen his lunch sitting on the side and got well and truly angry so was in no mood to eat or have injections by the time the nurse showed up. Thus started his pissing spree.

I did have a nice bacon butty and an Earl Grey locally and nipped into Frankie & Bennies for a vanilla cheesecake and cream later which was most agreeable. I planned to see a movie but because the carers were late I was too late for the start of it so had to pass on that one, maybe tomorrow.

I asked Nick to call round in the evening as I am fed up with being bored but it rained, OK, it stormed so he wisely decided to stay at home which left me on my own again (naturally .. *hums song*). I decided to watch a movie but the storm blew out the satellite signal, so much for that. I decided to play *my* keyboard but it wouldn’t turn on.

Thankfully, when I decided to go to bed my bed had not run off with the wardrobe!

So far today I have cleared up a lot of piss and I somehow doubt I am finished yet!

Jermaine has pissed on his bed three times so far which has meant three lots of bedding having to be washed. He won’t come downstairs and, well, probably for the best as he just seems to want to piss everywhere right now making no attempt to use the toilet at all.

That is three wet beds but he has pissed his clothes another two times as well.

I have washing backing up yet am concentrating purely on his mess.

The carers were here this morning. One arrived on time, the other was 10 minutes late and it took another 15 to tell them what to do and answer their questions so I was late by 25 minutes for my break.

The nurse was booked for midday but didn’t show until nearly 1pm by which time Jermaine had seen his lunch sitting on the side and got well and truly angry so was in no mood to eat or have injections by the time the nurse showed up. Thus started his pissing spree.

I did have a nice bacon butty and an Earl Grey locally and nipped into Frankie & Bennies for a vanilla cheesecake and cream later which was most agreeable. I planned to see a movie but because the carers were late I was too late for the start of it so had to pass on that one, maybe tomorrow.

I asked Nick to call round in the evening as I am fed up with being bored but it rained, OK, it stormed so he wisely decided to stay at home which left me on my own again (naturally .. *hums song*). I decided to watch a movie but the storm blew out the satellite signal, so much for that. I decided to play *my* keyboard but it wouldn’t turn on.

Thankfully, when I decided to go to bed my bed had not run off with the wardrobe!

Today was the important meeting with the health department to discuss an assessment for Jermaine at Hargrave House in Rushden.

I was called last week to be told that Jermaine would go in this Monday (yesterday) that was then corrected to say, probably Wednesday and altered again today to say defiantly Monday but that I had to get him there. OK, not a problem.

During this meeting we discover that he is definitely going to be there for at least 28 days but possibly less. He would not go back to school for 2 weeks and after that we have another meeting to discuss exactly how long he is in there for; they may even section him to comply with the mental health act requirements on restraint and evasive treatment. In order to know if they have to do that or not they have to do a mental capacity assessment, basically to find out if he is capable of understanding and, as a result, give informed consent to anything.

What I expect to get out of this is a bit of paper that says “Hey, his dad was right all along” and if I don’t get anything else, that will be invaluable.

It won’t give me any more support within the health environment because health simply does not cater for carers but only clients. To them, as long as Jermaine’s needs are met they are fulfilling their remit.

How do I feel? Well, depressed in many ways, not least because long term this doesn’t really offer much. Even with that letter describing Jermaine in great detail, no one shall feel obligated to do any more than they are currently doing.

On this, which is the week I was meant to have respite, social services have offered two four hour sessions at home from 10-2pm. I suggested to the social worker earlier that she may want to consider including a third day in that equation and she said she would mention it but I doubt very much she will. The carers tomorrow will have little or no idea about Jermaine so any hope I have of getting away in the first hour seem remote and then I expect they may well call me several times to find out what they are supposed to do. I really don’t expect any sort of break. By an amazing piece of management, I will no doubt get different carers on Friday and have to go through it all again!

I am still feeling very lonely and forgotten here, seems all my friends are busy with their own lives, and that’s fine, but all the same, it’s tough here and I am really not as emotionally strong and able to cope as most seem to have some strange idea that I am, not a day goes past when I don’t ask myself if it is all worth it?

Today was the important meeting with the health department to discuss an assessment for Jermaine at Hargrave House in Rushden.

I was called last week to be told that Jermaine would go in this Monday (yesterday) that was then corrected to say, probably Wednesday and altered again today to say defiantly Monday but that I had to get him there. OK, not a problem.

During this meeting we discover that he is definitely going to be there for at least 28 days but possibly less. He would not go back to school for 2 weeks and after that we have another meeting to discuss exactly how long he is in there for; they may even section him to comply with the mental health act requirements on restraint and evasive treatment. In order to know if they have to do that or not they have to do a mental capacity assessment, basically to find out if he is capable of understanding and, as a result, give informed consent to anything.

What I expect to get out of this is a bit of paper that says “Hey, his dad was right all along” and if I don’t get anything else, that will be invaluable.

It won’t give me any more support within the health environment because health simply does not cater for carers but only clients. To them, as long as Jermaine’s needs are met they are fulfilling their remit.

How do I feel? Well, depressed in many ways, not least because long term this doesn’t really offer much. Even with that letter describing Jermaine in great detail, no one shall feel obligated to do any more than they are currently doing.

On this, which is the week I was meant to have respite, social services have offered two four hour sessions at home from 10-2pm. I suggested to the social worker earlier that she may want to consider including a third day in that equation and she said she would mention it but I doubt very much she will. The carers tomorrow will have little or no idea about Jermaine so any hope I have of getting away in the first hour seem remote and then I expect they may well call me several times to find out what they are supposed to do. I really don’t expect any sort of break. By an amazing piece of management, I will no doubt get different carers on Friday and have to go through it all again!

I am still feeling very lonely and forgotten here, seems all my friends are busy with their own lives, and that’s fine, but all the same, it’s tough here and I am really not as emotionally strong and able to cope as most seem to have some strange idea that I am, not a day goes past when I don’t ask myself if it is all worth it?