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Leave me the F*** alone!
It is absolutely impossible for me to rest, never!
I honestly feel that I am involved with Zoey’s care 24/7, like, anyone can contact me at any time with an absolute screw up of their own making and I will deal with it.
Social Care have made so many screw ups it’s just awkward now. Despite the mess they’ve created it’s still the same people making the mistakes who are running the shit show.
One crap care provider after another, each competing with each other to see which can come up with the biggest bullshit to explain why they’re not managing her.
No one, not a one of them, ever has a clue what might be going wrong, it’s sickening. It’s like they are just not there. Sure, they know about the damage Zoey causes in great detail but, not what is actually upsetting her.
You know, Zoey was previously abused by her carers, years ago now. Sadly, any carer who looks like them seems to be a trigger and yet, because looking like them refers to their colour, she is told to just get over it and she keeps getting these triggers but, their hands are tied as they are not allowed to mention this could be a trigger!
I said to them, if she had been abused by a male carer recently, is it OK to say ‘no male carers’ and the social workers said that, of course, that’s OK!
Let’s look at the definition of the groups which cannot be discriminated against:
Oh dear, apparently, gender is included and, as such, social care cannot discriminate about a man but, they say they can.
I wonder, are there any provisions whereby any of the above can be a factor when engageing somebody to work with a vulnerable adult? I would think that, if social care feel a man can be but, someone non white can, there must be such a provision so, is there any workaround?
There are some instances where patients are discriminatory that should be dealt with differently.
These can be categorised under three headings:
- When a patient’s behaviours are linked to an underlying condition or pathology e.g. mental health illness, dementia.
- When the behaviour is from a legal guardian of the patient e.g., parent of a child or person who has power of attorney for a patient.
- When the characteristic of the healthcare worker will affect the physical and mental wellbeing of a patient e.g. requesting a specific gender for a personal or sensitive care, or psychological treatment.
Apparently, there is something which could be used here but, they cannot use it until they acknowledge the previous abuse. Once that is acknowledged they can then state that because a certain characteristic is likely to be a trigger, those who have that cannot work with Zoey.
The bottom line is, for the second time this week, in the middle of the week I am sorting things out which are the responsibility of others because they either do not want to or, don’t know they should.
Friday afternoon, I have another online MDT. I don’t really feel inclined to attend to be totally honest. By no accident it has been arranged just in time for everyone to go home and enjoy their weekend. It is, therefore, really just a tick box thing, we did it and let’s just cross our fingers and hope nothing happens over the weekend.
Anyway, right now, Zoey is under arrest somewhere in Kettering. Because someone employed by social care said she has capacity they had no interest in whether she might need her LPA, they would deal with everything themselves. The phone call was so short as to be rude. Well done social care for that.
There is no outcome from this which is going to be good for Zoey. Everyone was told to do a proper risk assessment, they didn’t. Same as the last lot and the lot before that. This is crisis managment on top of crisis management.
Were I fit and well, I’d be a lot more affective, just now, I don’t have much left to give.
‘Gay’ Pride’
Yes it grabs the attention, makes people look but … one question I get asked too often is “which of you is the woman?”
I do not want my sexuality confused as a gender issue.
Thanks to my lovely husband in the foreground.
My own perspective on gay pride and, indeed the so called ‘community’.
Firstly, understand the history of pride. It started when gay people finally took a stand against the homophobia they were subjected to. For many years gay people were unprotected, no laws gave them equal rights not even the laws of the lands they lived in as citizens from birth. They were seen as criminals and generally people with severe mental health issues and deviants.
With slow progress in many countries we got some kind of equality or, at least legal protecting from prejudice to the point many who don’t recall when it wasn’t there really believe we’ve already got there and Pride has become nothing more than an in your face celebration of a job well done!
We are no where near that point yet and to make matters worse, we are diluting the cause and allowing it to be taken over by issues which are not our issues.
Over recent years our fight for equality for those with differing sexuality has had added to it, the fight for gender identity. What real connection do we as gay, lesbian and bisexual men and women do we have with the multitude of current gender identities?
Don’t get me wrong, I support that battle separately just not inclusively. If we follow any natural progression some trans might take we get this scenario and this is merely an example:
Mike is trans. Right now Mike is gay he is part of the LGB community. However, Mike is transitioning to Michelle. ‘She’ is living as a woman who is attracted to men. When she fully transitions she will be and wants to be a woman. At this point, Michelle becomes a straight woman, no longer a part of the LGB community. Of course, it’s way more complex but, we have to call a spade a spade.
Gender identity should have remained an issue in of itself. They will have their supporters and those in the LGB community will have theirs. Sometimes they may be the same people.
Does it help that leading many Pride events (which used to be pre woke, called ‘gay pride’) we have drag queens? I’ll wager that the majority of gay men have no desire at all the wear female clothes and yet, as far as society sees us, we come across as cross dressing weirdos. Not as we are, just the men and women you work with, who you see every day or pass by in the street. Again, don’t misunderstand me, no issue with drag queens, some are great but, would be put the Royal State Coach at the head of an environmentally friendly car parade? It’s overkill and suggests totally the wrong thing.
If you’re selling EV’s you don’t use the State Coach to promote them!
In short, Pride has been taken over by those with heavy egos who don’t even realise this is still a struggle.
How many gay men would feel comfortable walking through the Grosvenor Centre holding hands with their husbands? I see the ladies doing it but, never us men. Is that a rational avoidance or is it justified considering recent attacks on gay men in the town?
Gay men ‘afraid to hold hands in public’, survey finds
We’ve police forces up and down the country recognised for being institutionally homophobic. That on top of how generally ineffective the police are anyway and it matters not what laws are passed if the police and CPS do not enforce those laws.
We still do not have marriage equality, under law religions cannot perform same sex marriages. That was as much a government decision as it was the religions involved.
In many countries around the world our rights range from tolerance to a criminal offence punishable by death. Our government and monarchy still counts those countries amongst our ‘friends’.
I would like us to get back to being the LGB community fighting our own causes.
Why is the UK great?
You see, right there I have readers shaking their heads and asking, are you mad?
British people are about as unpatriotic as any nation can be likely caused by a succession of government which rather than pull us together, drove us apart to create division and detract for their own failings.
Is the UK really so terrible?
In my opinion, no, it’s not. As a country we have lost out way rather a lot, society has some very real issues. However, the bedrock of the country, the land and the climate, they are much as we would expect for these lands.
What do I hear those around the world say of the UK?
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- It’s so quaint, all those cute little villages – Sure, we have a lot of cute old villages dating back centuries but, that is not who we are, that’s just a tourist ideal
- Isn’t it always raining in the UK? – Actually, just about every year we ban the use of hosepipes in a lot of counties because we are in a drought situation, we simply have not had enough rain. Sure, we do get rain. Unlike some other countries, there is no rainy season, it can happen any time of year. It used to be mainly April we would have showers but, global warming lost that for us.
- It’s so cold there – Way up north in Scotland and especially on the hills, sure, it can get really cold. Realistically, if you as an interest person not liking the cold will avoid those areas and look down south. Right now we are around 28°C, tomorrow I see will be 30°C and, that’s quite warm for anywhere! It’s very humid though.
- At least I don’t need sun block as it’s either going to rain or be too foggy! – Look, rain I already covered but on it, don’t let it fool you. Even through those showers the UV index can be really high especially in June/July. As for fog, there is a generation of Brits won’t have seen it ever! It was a construct of heavy industry with factories and homes using copious amounts of filthy coal and other messy stuff which hung in the atmosphere. We have cleaned up considerably in the last few decades. I am 60 and whilst it was regular when I was a kid it is more a morning mist now and rather than being pollution it’s just nature evaporating the lying water.
- Your food is so bland, you don’t eat anything exciting or tasty. – This is an absolute myth based on a misunderstanding. You see, our land is very multicultural, we are a blend of hundreds of different nations and, over the years, our recipes have been shared and just about anything goes. We have comfort food which some might consider bland, only because it’s generally badly cooked. Fish & Chips needs to have fresh fish, the fresher the better. Many restaurants cook fish from the freezer and who is to say how old it is? Of course it’s going to have no flavour. We stop using those places mostly. The Sunday Roast? Yes, unavoidably that can be bland, no two ways about it. Sauces have to be added to make it OK. Shepherds and cottage pie, not the same thing but similar. That’s down to recipe and the quality of ingredients. Cooked fresh with good ingredients there is no reason for it to be bland at all. The Great British Breakfast (fry up) … a little bit of a myth that one as it implies there is only one. There are many variations on it to the point that much of it and occasionally, all of it is not fried at all! (I prefer it that way). But, back to the multicultural nature of the UK … Curry is one of our most popular take out meals (from India), Kebabs often follow from a night out (Greece). Indeed, we have restaurants with food from all over the world. Just lately I am seeing more Filipino venues showing up as well.
- Beaches, what’s the point, you don’t have any good beaches? – There is a related truth in that but, it’s complicated! The sea even on the hottest days, never gets higher than 20°C, the in the cooler months it’s around 6°C and although some hardy people do swim in it, on the whole we don’t do much more than paddle. We do, however, have some amazing beaches, some of the best and great surfing beaches too. Sadly, the government we have had the past 13 years have allowed our seas to get contaminated with filth. Rich corporate water companies continue to pump raw sewage into our waterways making many of them unsuitable or unsafe to use.
- Isn’t everything just so expensive there? – Hands up, the answer is yes. Sadly any excuse and hospitality gets greedy. A little inflation and they raise prices to exceed it and when inflation lessens, those prices remain high. Right now we are suffering food inflation way over 16%. A standard McDonalds is close on £9 now almost double what it was a year ago and, for example, nearly three times the cost in the Philippines.
- So, when it’s not summer then it’s just winter right? Oh no! – Spring and Autumn are two of the nicest times to be here. The winter is absent of colour, the leaves are off the trees, flowers do not grow, it’s just drab. Then spring happens and it comes to life! Birds are busy mating, flowers bloom, trees blossom, it’s a sight to see, honestly. Autumn follows summer and nature starts to shut down ready for winter. The colours on the trees are incredible, all shades of yellow, orange, red, it’s magical. The past few decades winter has been mild, it’s rare to get snow except on high ground. For several mornings there will be ice on cars and sure, it can get a little chilly even in the warmer parts getting down to -9°C on occasion but, mostly it’s just somewhere between 0° – 10°C. If wearing the right clothes it’s not really a problem. In summer, well as I said above, it can be really hot but, at the same time, it can change! I have known it in the low 20’s in May and then a week later, we do have snow, it can happen, it’s rare.
- Your homes are all really old right, you have outside toilet’s and bath in front of the fire? – Sure, in many old movies that’s totally correct but I have always lived in a house with an inside toilet and a bath which has hot and cold water. Sure, as a kid in winter we had ice on the inside of the windows it was so cold but, that was 50+ years ago. Most, the vast majority have centrally heated homes and at least one full bathroom or shower. So, even our older places will be mostly fully upgraded by now.
- Just how old are your places? – The newest are still being built, the oldest go back centuries. It is not unusual to live in an 18th century property and certainly 19th century. Let’s make no mistake, our history goes back 1000’s of years. A church in my town has parts of it dating back to the10th century.
Let’s look at some pictures of the UK
As you can see, if the tech works. the country can look so different depending on location and time of year. It is rarely plain. If you know where to look there is so much to see, it’s certainly worth seeking out the guide books and exploring outside of the big cities.
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