Well, I am still here so not all is lost.

Spent some time with a school friend yesterday as I mentioned in a previous mailing. It was good to see him and to see that he looks quite good as it happens. He’s been through some trauma in his life, true, much self inflicted but with a determined attitude he’s stuck by his guns and come through it the other side, good to have my mate back I think.

No one seems to have bought the Sebring for me so I guess I’ll just have to rely on the lottery after all … should I win, by the way, I intend to move a very long way away indeed from certain horrible people most definitely, enough of them already. The money would also enable me to spend quality time with my true friends and family in a stress free environment, I need one of those right now.

My bed has been moved into the room which was the office and now the two rooms are together … once the council have done their thing I can move things around again after decorating and this will be mainly a bedroom which also happens to have a computer in it. My old bedroom is now my Photography Studio. Because of the council thing I can’t decorate so I have erected a temporary studio in their using my mobile set up. I may have some slight colour bleed problems with the walls onto the white background but, basically it should be OK. I may erect another back drop to try and eliminate that particular issue if I can.

Hope Adam doesn’t mind me sharing these, I know he’d not had time to prepare so really grateful for him sitting in for a couple of shots!

I am still not playing flipping Minecraft!!!!

Tomorrow is the day of my first major photography shoot and I am still not nervous which worries me! I should be, I still don’t quite know what I am doing but, it’ll be OK, I know it will.

Looking forward to Sunday, first time I’ve looked forward to anything in a while so I hope it doesn’t disappoint.

Well, I am still here so not all is lost.

Spent some time with a school friend yesterday as I mentioned in a previous mailing. It was good to see him and to see that he looks quite good as it happens. He’s been through some trauma in his life, true, much self inflicted but with a determined attitude he’s stuck by his guns and come through it the other side, good to have my mate back I think.

No one seems to have bought the Sebring for me so I guess I’ll just have to rely on the lottery after all … should I win, by the way, I intend to move a very long way away indeed from certain horrible people most definitely, enough of them already. The money would also enable me to spend quality time with my true friends and family in a stress free environment, I need one of those right now.

My bed has been moved into the room which was the office and now the two rooms are together … once the council have done their thing I can move things around again after decorating and this will be mainly a bedroom which also happens to have a computer in it. My old bedroom is now my Photography Studio. Because of the council thing I can’t decorate so I have erected a temporary studio in their using my mobile set up. I may have some slight colour bleed problems with the walls onto the white background but, basically it should be OK. I may erect another back drop to try and eliminate that particular issue if I can.

Hope Adam doesn’t mind me sharing these, I know he’d not had time to prepare so really grateful for him sitting in for a couple of shots!

I am still not playing flipping Minecraft!!!!

Tomorrow is the day of my first major photography shoot and I am still not nervous which worries me! I should be, I still don’t quite know what I am doing but, it’ll be OK, I know it will.

Looking forward to Sunday, first time I’ve looked forward to anything in a while so I hope it doesn’t disappoint.

I totally don’t get it, why do I keep getting so damn depressingly bored? What was it which took up all my time before that I didn’t feel like this? I’ve done near all which can be done around the house, am up to date on my work, my diary is totally clear. It’s not even that I am being lazy, I am doing what needs to be done yet, somehow, I’ve now got tons of time on my hands from who knows where? Did days get longer? Hey, there’s an irony, I now go to bed much earlier, rarely after midnight so, in theory, I’ve actually got less hours in the day, they just seem to take a lot longer? Am I forgetting something I should be doing maybe?

So, I am totally confused, for some reason I have all this time on my hands and don’t know why. My logical side says, I don’t have any more time on my hands, it just feels longer. Could it be that I am so lacking in enthusiasm for anything that each task is now isolated whereas before I would think before and after doing something, have it in mind which made me feel busier whereas now, I just do what needs to be done and forget it, on auto pilot.

Either way, this is a horrible feeling and been going on for weeks now. I feel like I just want to go to bed and sleep to kill some hours, to make jobs seem important.

I am getting a visit from an old friend today, he’s not old, OK, he may be old in his outlook yet not in years, that’s yet to be determined, I just meant I’ve not seen him in years, 3 years I think. Part of my reaching out and making contact again approach which hasn’t really worked with anyone else sadly.

By the way, I want this …

£4,000 should anyone have that spare, I’ll sort the insurance myself! I want my baby back!

I totally don’t get it, why do I keep getting so damn depressingly bored? What was it which took up all my time before that I didn’t feel like this? I’ve done near all which can be done around the house, am up to date on my work, my diary is totally clear. It’s not even that I am being lazy, I am doing what needs to be done yet, somehow, I’ve now got tons of time on my hands from who knows where? Did days get longer? Hey, there’s an irony, I now go to bed much earlier, rarely after midnight so, in theory, I’ve actually got less hours in the day, they just seem to take a lot longer? Am I forgetting something I should be doing maybe?

So, I am totally confused, for some reason I have all this time on my hands and don’t know why. My logical side says, I don’t have any more time on my hands, it just feels longer. Could it be that I am so lacking in enthusiasm for anything that each task is now isolated whereas before I would think before and after doing something, have it in mind which made me feel busier whereas now, I just do what needs to be done and forget it, on auto pilot.

Either way, this is a horrible feeling and been going on for weeks now. I feel like I just want to go to bed and sleep to kill some hours, to make jobs seem important.

I am getting a visit from an old friend today, he’s not old, OK, he may be old in his outlook yet not in years, that’s yet to be determined, I just meant I’ve not seen him in years, 3 years I think. Part of my reaching out and making contact again approach which hasn’t really worked with anyone else sadly.

By the way, I want this …

£4,000 should anyone have that spare, I’ll sort the insurance myself! I want my baby back!