I totally don’t get it, why do I keep getting so damn depressingly bored? What was it which took up all my time before that I didn’t feel like this? I’ve done near all which can be done around the house, am up to date on my work, my diary is totally clear. It’s not even that I am being lazy, I am doing what needs to be done yet, somehow, I’ve now got tons of time on my hands from who knows where? Did days get longer? Hey, there’s an irony, I now go to bed much earlier, rarely after midnight so, in theory, I’ve actually got less hours in the day, they just seem to take a lot longer? Am I forgetting something I should be doing maybe?

So, I am totally confused, for some reason I have all this time on my hands and don’t know why. My logical side says, I don’t have any more time on my hands, it just feels longer. Could it be that I am so lacking in enthusiasm for anything that each task is now isolated whereas before I would think before and after doing something, have it in mind which made me feel busier whereas now, I just do what needs to be done and forget it, on auto pilot.

Either way, this is a horrible feeling and been going on for weeks now. I feel like I just want to go to bed and sleep to kill some hours, to make jobs seem important.

I am getting a visit from an old friend today, he’s not old, OK, he may be old in his outlook yet not in years, that’s yet to be determined, I just meant I’ve not seen him in years, 3 years I think. Part of my reaching out and making contact again approach which hasn’t really worked with anyone else sadly.

By the way, I want this …

£4,000 should anyone have that spare, I’ll sort the insurance myself! I want my baby back!