That’s not a word but, it’ll do!

It’s how I feel at the moment. I am trying to be positive, think things up but I don’t much like waiting on distant, often anonymous people to make important decisions or to do important work.

The worry of having chosen the wrong solicitors is getting to me. I am having to point out such basic errors I wonder how many I might have missed which could come back to bite me at some point in the future. At the moment I am awaiting a new contract as they screwed up what they sent me, had I signed it then it wouldn’t have been legal.

We’ve got the visa decision too, they could reject it just for the hell of it and I have no clue on what grounds to challenge it because I know it was OK, everything we needed was there. A rejection will just be them making the decision we’re not in a valid relationship in their opinion so, all I can fight with is that we are, in our opinion. They’ve got plenty of witness statements to support the case that we’re in a relationship and yet … I can’t think of many times when something just went right first time, it’s always a fight and I am tired of fights. Loads of other people never have to fight for anything, I want a bit of that!

Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s not all doom and gloom, I have a lot of optimism in me still. I’ve zero tolerance for those who want get off their backside but a lot of positive energy that this is a turning point in my life for the good. I get all gooey and excited just thinking about Dennis actually being here. I hype myself up so much I then go worrying that I won’t be enough to entertain him, that’s silly, I know it, but I want him to be happy so much.

One of the major issues with life being such a struggle previously is it leaves me with the feeling that ‘I am not worthy’. Like, if it starts going right then someone will come along to screw it up, throw a money wrench into the works. It’s near impossible to believe that this might actually be the time when people allow me to be happy

Autumn is a strange time of year, it is both beautiful and depressing at the same time. It looks great but the next stage, sure as anything, is for cool, wet days with little light for several months, It should be pointed out that it’s been months since I had a huge Disney fix! A person needs these things you know!

Well, it’s late, a busy day tomorrow (today) as it’s Danny’s birthday. This evening I have the house to myself with no plans

How do they differ from ‘normal’ relationships?

For a start they are clearly not ‘straight’ Straight is normal as everyone knows so, therefore, it stands to reason that those entering into a same sex relationship will want to be as normal as possible.

Clearly, one of the partnership must, to remain traditional (another word meaning ‘normal’), one must be the woman and the other, it follows, should be the man. Ideally the two identities should be easy to identify for normal people. It would therefore help if one is camp and feminine and the other is, perhaps, butch and masculine.

Once the gender roles are indentified it is then customary for the couple to divulge to anyone asking what their sexual preferences are. Ideally not giving too much information as this is seen as gross but enough as to define that the ‘male’ of the couple is, indeed, the ‘top’ and the ‘female’ is the ‘bottom’. Following on from this the normal person will be expected to and it is accepted that they do ask with some concern, whether either in the arrangement is concerned about getting AIDS? As everyone knows, all same sex couples will have had a great many sexual partners, never used protection and inevitably sleep around despite being in a relationship. We don’t need to look far for supporting evidence of this seeing as the Blood Transfusion Service in the UK has a blanket ban on all sexually active gay men donating blood whether they are married or not. Clearly if an agency held in such high esteem does this, it just confirms what ‘everyone’ already knows.

At the wedding, which one is going to wear the dress?

Hmm, you see that’s a really difficult that a male gay couple wrestles with for some considerable time. In all the years they dreamed of finding the right man, forefront of their mind was whether or not ‘he’ would look good in a wedding dress. You know what? I bet he already has friends in dressmaking that have already shared their designs and … wow, getting cut price flowers for the wedding with so many gay florists and hairdressing well, we all, as gay men, know just about every hairdresser in the country so it’s a given we’ll ‘cut’ a deal.

We will have the usual questions of course:

• Are you getting married in a church then?
• Giggle, which of you is going to be the best man?
• If neither of you is wearing a dress, your suits will be pink at least, right?
• Will you have a pink wedding car?
• Will they be playing ‘It’s raining men’ as you both walk up the aisle?

Just some of the helpful questions I’ve already heard.

Let’s have some Clarification:

Gay men like MEN

If they liked men who were like women they might prefer to be HETEROSEXUAL. That or they like someone other than a gay MAN … but the entire topic is open to debate.

A Gay male couple are both MEN. Neither has any desire to play the part of a woman (unless they have a conflict of gender identity). Neither will be wearing a damn dress, it’s insulting and rude to suggest it, you are disrespecting the fact that they are a same sex couple. It’s as stupid as asking a heterosexual male to wear the dress and his bride the suit! It’s just wrong, don’t do it.

A Gay man might like Pink, he may also like, Blue, Black, Purple, White, Red and, indeed any other colour or combination thereof.

Let’s make a deal, gay men won’t ask you how you indulge in sex because, it’s none of our business so, if we don’t, can you not as us either.

For a great many gay men, getting married is a sign of their desire to enter into a monogamous relationship, spend the rest of their lives with just one man emotionally and physically. Yes, some do get married knowing and agreeing to an ‘open relationship’ as do some heterosexual couple. It is still rude to assume this to be the case. Gay men are like heterosexual couples in a relationship in many ways. They are both attracted to their partner on an emotional and physical level. They are devoted to that partner and only that partner, they put their partner first. They enjoy sex in the most loving way possible, how they enjoy it is between only them.

It’s so easy to stereotype. Remember, all relationships, gay or straight are challenging and the couple should be supported for the people that they are, not the stereotype you allow yourself to believe. Couples will have ups and downs, all totally normal and the last thing a couple needs is someone around them disrespecting them as a normal couple.

I do hope this has helped with your education

I read this online somewhere and it resonated with me, summed me up quite nicely I thought though really is only a glimpse into who I am

Contrary to popular belief, men have feelings.  Being highly emotional is not a weakness but strength. Men in touch with their emotions bring a lot to the table. Not only making the world a wonderful place, they offer the true definition of love and passion. Here are some things to remember if you are in love with an emotional person.

1. They want to be connected to the people in their lives

They are in touch with their feelings and thus they are conscious of the people that they try to let into their world. If you are accepted into their world you should know that they would want a relationship that is substantive with you, something that they can cherish and has some meaning to them.

2. They will always take a chance on love

Emotional people are not afraid of giving a chance to love. They believe all relationships can be full of possibilities and things could become better. Even when they have been hurt and betrayed they will still give love another chance.

3. They express their emotions

They won’t deny themselves the opportunity to show their feelings. They are expressive. This can mean some creativity on their part when they show you how much they care for you. So expect passionate expressions from them.

4. They are selective

They wouldn’t just allow anyone into their lives. This is because they are so in touch with their emotions they will only want to be in a relationship with someone who can relate with their strong emotions. They wouldn’t simply expose themselves to people who will crush them and break down their morale.

5. They don’t just get by

They love to involve and engage themselves in things they love. Average is not good enough for them. They want to find meaning and totality in the things they pursue. Through this they can feel validated and purposeful.

6. They empathize with others

They can relate with the emotions and feelings of others who are being hurt or facing down times. This will cause them to want to lend their support, well wishes and sympathies as far as it can make the other person feel better.

7. They are vivid

They are honest about their feelings. They don’t lie to themselves about how they feel. This is because they are self-aware and completely in tune with their emotions. Even when things are not clear to them, they would endeavour to go on that journey to finding and discovering who they are.

8. They can forgive

They don’t have any reason to hold grudges and close a door indefinitely to a relationship. They will apologize if they have to and will forgive if they have to. They know that alienating people or holding on to grudges could end up doing more harm than good.

9. They believe in themselves

They are optimistic in their strengths and abilities. They not only love and understand themselves, they are proud of who they are and what they are capable of. This is always good for their self-esteem.

10. They want to give back

They want to see a beautiful world. They know this is possible if they do play a part. They are always willing to play a role in improving the lots of others. Since they appreciate themselves and the world around them, this is not a difficult role for them to play.

11. They are not trying to seek attention

They are okay with who they are. Needing attention or looking for unnecessary recognition doesn’t serve them better because this can prove extremely selfish. They value themselves and know that they are worthy. They don’t need to get that validation from somewhere else in form of attention or recognition.