How do they differ from ‘normal’ relationships?
For a start they are clearly not ‘straight’ Straight is normal as everyone knows so, therefore, it stands to reason that those entering into a same sex relationship will want to be as normal as possible.
Clearly, one of the partnership must, to remain traditional (another word meaning ‘normal’), one must be the woman and the other, it follows, should be the man. Ideally the two identities should be easy to identify for normal people. It would therefore help if one is camp and feminine and the other is, perhaps, butch and masculine.
Once the gender roles are indentified it is then customary for the couple to divulge to anyone asking what their sexual preferences are. Ideally not giving too much information as this is seen as gross but enough as to define that the ‘male’ of the couple is, indeed, the ‘top’ and the ‘female’ is the ‘bottom’. Following on from this the normal person will be expected to and it is accepted that they do ask with some concern, whether either in the arrangement is concerned about getting AIDS? As everyone knows, all same sex couples will have had a great many sexual partners, never used protection and inevitably sleep around despite being in a relationship. We don’t need to look far for supporting evidence of this seeing as the Blood Transfusion Service in the UK has a blanket ban on all sexually active gay men donating blood whether they are married or not. Clearly if an agency held in such high esteem does this, it just confirms what ‘everyone’ already knows.
At the wedding, which one is going to wear the dress?
Hmm, you see that’s a really difficult that a male gay couple wrestles with for some considerable time. In all the years they dreamed of finding the right man, forefront of their mind was whether or not ‘he’ would look good in a wedding dress. You know what? I bet he already has friends in dressmaking that have already shared their designs and … wow, getting cut price flowers for the wedding with so many gay florists and hairdressing well, we all, as gay men, know just about every hairdresser in the country so it’s a given we’ll ‘cut’ a deal.
We will have the usual questions of course:
- Are you getting married in a church then?
- Giggle, which of you is going to be the best man?
- If neither of you is wearing a dress, your suits will be pink at least, right?
- Will you have a pink wedding car?
- Will they be playing ‘It’s raining men’ as you both walk up the aisle?
Just some of the helpful questions I’ve already heard.
Let’s have some Clarification:
Gay men like MEN
If they liked men who were like women they might prefer to be HETEROSEXUAL. That or they like someone other than a gay MAN … but the entire topic is open to debate.
A Gay male couple are both MEN. Neither has any desire to play the part of a woman (unless they have a conflict of gender identity). Neither will be wearing a damn dress, it’s insulting and rude to suggest it, you are disrespecting the fact that they are a same sex couple. It’s as stupid as asking a heterosexual male to wear the dress and his bride the suit! It’s just wrong, don’t do it.
A Gay man might like Pink, he may also like, Blue, Black, Purple, White, Red and, indeed any other colour or combination thereof.
Let’s make a deal, gay men won’t ask you how you indulge in sex because, it’s none of our business so, if we don’t, can you not as us either.
For a great many gay men, getting married is a sign of their desire to enter into a monogamous relationship, spend the rest of their lives with just one man emotionally and physically. Yes, some do get married knowing and agreeing to an ‘open relationship’ as do some heterosexual couple. It is still rude to assume this to be the case. Gay men are like heterosexual couples in a relationship in many ways. They are both attracted to their partner on an emotional and physical level. They are devoted to that partner and only that partner, they put their partner first. They enjoy sex in the most loving way possible, how they enjoy it is between only them.
It’s so easy to stereotype. Remember, all relationships, gay or straight are challenging and the couple should be supported for the people that they are, not the stereotype you allow yourself to believe. Couples will have ups and downs, all totally normal and the last thing a couple needs is someone around them disrespecting them as a normal couple.
I do hope this has helped with your education