James – The Story

James moved in with us in October 2008. His entry into this family was based on lies. I was told that he and Daisy were just friends, most certainly, I was assured, it was nothing more than that. This was a lie. By December Daisy was pregnant, indeed, whilst she was pregnant both of them were still telling me they had no so much as seen each other naked let alone had sex, so, another lie.

James is what is called, a ‘relevant’ child. That means, he was formerly in the care of social services but is not currently. Frustratingly, social services never approved his placement here. They always considered that we volunteered to have him here so they had no obligation to pay for him beyond the equivalent of £47.95. I worked it out, he cost at least £40 a week in food alone putting aside all the other costs associated with him on clothes and other items.

His family too were hostile to us, so, in short, we were effectively on our own with him.

I can honestly say that we did everything possible and then some to help James. He is not the easiest person to get on with at times. That is most certainly an understatement. He has many good points, he has excellent prospects for being an amazing adult but he simply refuses to embrace anything. Like many of 16, he seems to believe, certainly comes across as though he knows everything, no one can possibly advise as he simply knows what’s what. He has hated being told what to do and rebelled strongly.

Lately he has taken to deliberately breaking rules and lying. He has been, behind the scenes, making arrangements with social services to move out.

It came to a head last weekend when he really badly insulted me. told me how he couldn’t stand being in the same house as me, really horrible.

He made this huge apology Friday night. Saturday I spoke to him man to man and explained it cannot happen again. He has to start showing some respect for Daisy and for me and everyone else here. That he had run out of chances. Coming back would be on probation, I would not allow him to hurt Daisy again. He made all sorts of promises but, this week it prove to all be rubbish and lies. Again he’s been plotting with social services to move him and daisy somewhere else. Daisy made it clear she doesn’t want that but he does and it is all he thinks about.

Because of that, he made his own choice to leave. Like, if he couldn’t have Daisy on his terms he would not have her at all, she simply wasn’t worth the smallest of efforts.

So, that is that. Daisy is now alone again.

I don’t know what is going to be happening with James. At a guess, and I would like to be wrong, he is probably already smoking again, probably gonna be soon if not already back to smoking weed. I don’t expect he’ll get a job now that social services have assured him of an income until he is 21. He is unlikely to place his child above his own needs (wants). Like I wrote, I hope that is wrong, I really hope it is. No one would be happier than me if he could get some self respect and honour his commitment to the child. If he could leave Daisy to get on with her life and be allowed to meet someone else, someone with the common sense to know when they have someone amazing worth holding onto no matter what their own cost.

I hope he has a good life, he’s had a shit one up until October last year. He had a crack at a great one, he just let it go.

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