A radical change going on

2009 has been a very traumatic year in both a positive and negative way. I am going to be totally honest here, I don’t want 2010 going the same way. I want 2010 to be a year of calm settled life.

I don’t generally do the whole New Year Resolution thing, I never much see the point to it. This outgoing year though, this is going to be different because, this year, I have baggage to sort out.

This is what I have set in my mind for 2010

• People either go into it with us totally or they become the problem to be removed from the picture
• At least once, Deej and I are going to go on holiday alone together to see if we can’t remind ourselves what a relationship is like
• We are going to go on holiday as a family
• Anyone who lies to us is gone, history, no longer related to in any way at all.
• We are going to make a bigger effort to see friends and remain in contact
• No more excuses not for us or anyone else. If someone wants to be the person they ‘just are’ then that’s cool, but not on my watch around my family!
• I am going to say ‘No’ more often
• I want zero contact with social workers except those for Zoey or those I happen to work alongside at the Carers Centre.
• We are going to get Deej officially ‘John Williams’ everywhere
• Sean is going to get a passport!
• The benefits situation is going to be sorted totally, no more pissing about with arseholes!
• I am going to stop being nice to people when I really think they are twats that need to grow up!

I reckon there may be many other things I shall think of but those shall be the ones top of my list.

Generally speaking, I am going to help anyone who wants help and who appreciates it. I am not going to waste my time with those too lazy to make an effort, drunks, druggies and those who have no intention of changing. Everything for those who need it, nothing for those who don’t … I can’t say fairer than that.

A radical change going on

2009 has been a very traumatic year in both a positive and negative way. I am going to be totally honest here, I don’t want 2010 going the same way. I want 2010 to be a year of calm settled life.

I don’t generally do the whole New Year Resolution thing, I never much see the point to it. This outgoing year though, this is going to be different because, this year, I have baggage to sort out.

This is what I have set in my mind for 2010

• People either go into it with us totally or they become the problem to be removed from the picture
• At least once, Deej and I are going to go on holiday alone together to see if we can’t remind ourselves what a relationship is like
• We are going to go on holiday as a family
• Anyone who lies to us is gone, history, no longer related to in any way at all.
• We are going to make a bigger effort to see friends and remain in contact
• No more excuses not for us or anyone else. If someone wants to be the person they ‘just are’ then that’s cool, but not on my watch around my family!
• I am going to say ‘No’ more often
• I want zero contact with social workers except those for Zoey or those I happen to work alongside at the Carers Centre.
• We are going to get Deej officially ‘John Williams’ everywhere
• Sean is going to get a passport!
• The benefits situation is going to be sorted totally, no more pissing about with arseholes!
• I am going to stop being nice to people when I really think they are twats that need to grow up!

I reckon there may be many other things I shall think of but those shall be the ones top of my list.

Generally speaking, I am going to help anyone who wants help and who appreciates it. I am not going to waste my time with those too lazy to make an effort, drunks, druggies and those who have no intention of changing. Everything for those who need it, nothing for those who don’t … I can’t say fairer than that.

One of the most amazing days of my life was when Jermaine was born, it was equalled by the birth of Matt, Zoey and Daisy. Each event so life changing, so amazing I can think of no other similar events to compare except, when Josh was born. How lucky am I? I get to be at the birth of all my children and then, as if life could get no better, I am at the birth of a grandchild too!

They may not know it or even want to accept it because I can be a grumpy old sod at times, but my kids and my grandson are my everything and, my new grandchild too will be added to that list as well as Deej of course. I will reschedule anything for them, do what I can until my death bed for them, they can have my last crumb and my last penny if they really needed it.

When I split from their mother several years ago I could not comprehend then or now ever not being a significant part of their lives. If I have ever made excuses for not being there, not doing something with them or for them, I am sorry. If it makes them feel better, I’d have felt like a failure each time.

Being a dad is just the most incredibly responsible thing anyone could ever do next to being a mum of course. I read about and see these guys who seem to think the world owes them a living, who feel that they qualify to be called ‘dad’ because they want to be. They don’t do anything though, they are not there for their kids, they pay nothing financially or in time. They father their child only when they have nothing better to do. That makes me mad, really mad! Not because it is wrong, and it is, but because these men have no concept of what they are missing out on. Right from the smiles of recognition as babies up to ‘I love you dad’ later in life. All of the effort, the heartache and sacrifices are worth it. No man can be a greater failure than to fail his children.

One of the most amazing days of my life was when Jermaine was born, it was equalled by the birth of Matt, Zoey and Daisy. Each event so life changing, so amazing I can think of no other similar events to compare except, when Josh was born. How lucky am I? I get to be at the birth of all my children and then, as if life could get no better, I am at the birth of a grandchild too!

They may not know it or even want to accept it because I can be a grumpy old sod at times, but my kids and my grandson are my everything and, my new grandchild too will be added to that list as well as Deej of course. I will reschedule anything for them, do what I can until my death bed for them, they can have my last crumb and my last penny if they really needed it.

When I split from their mother several years ago I could not comprehend then or now ever not being a significant part of their lives. If I have ever made excuses for not being there, not doing something with them or for them, I am sorry. If it makes them feel better, I’d have felt like a failure each time.

Being a dad is just the most incredibly responsible thing anyone could ever do next to being a mum of course. I read about and see these guys who seem to think the world owes them a living, who feel that they qualify to be called ‘dad’ because they want to be. They don’t do anything though, they are not there for their kids, they pay nothing financially or in time. They father their child only when they have nothing better to do. That makes me mad, really mad! Not because it is wrong, and it is, but because these men have no concept of what they are missing out on. Right from the smiles of recognition as babies up to ‘I love you dad’ later in life. All of the effort, the heartache and sacrifices are worth it. No man can be a greater failure than to fail his children.