It’s maybe presumed that because I write negatively occasionally that I am a negative person, I am really not. Indeed, were I not such a positive person I think I should have gone mad years ago!

Those who know me well enough occasionally get infuriated by my positivity, when all they can see is negativity I jump in with an alternative more positive synopsis of a situation. Sometimes I even use a whole selection of stupendously long words, you may have noticed that?

Now, I have mentioned in other entries that, now and then, stuff really is sort of poo, there is no point asking someone to think of the positives in their life because, right at that moment they need to let go of the negatives first, it’s easier than it sounds. I use visualisation as one tool, breathing methods is another, writing yet another. Adding up all the positives doesn’t always work, maths and the mind don’t always come to the same answer.

So, when we have a negative, it’s worth asking someone else if they can see any way that this negative can be worked in our favour. In the same way as manure can be used to grow wonderful plants, perhaps our own life manure (not from the toilet please) can be used to help build our own future?

As an experiment, and this can’t, as far as I am aware, happen … try to imagine, if you will, that you have a time machine. Don’t complicate things, there is only one time machine and only you know about it. Think of a time in your life when you felt bad, a time in your life you wish didn’t happen. In your mind go back and change it, how ever you feel you would rather that would have gone. Done that? Good, now, I want you to take an honest look at your life from this new point, are you absolutely certain that change you just made won’t have affected any aspect of your current life you get some value from?

I can count on one hand the amount of things I could change with little to no impact upon my future. I can’t go back and stop my mother dying, it would change everything I now know. I can’t get that job in New York I regret not getting, that would really have changed everything. Losing my first boyfriend to a misunderstanding? I’d have no kids or grandkids now if I did that.The list goes on and those are just the events I can sort of predict the outcomes from.

How about those times I got delayed somewhere? How can I be sure that the delay didn’t actually save my life? All those bad sexual partner choices? I know now what I don’t want! All that pain as a kid? I learnt empathy. Caring for years? I learnt to put others first, how to deal with puke, poo and being hit without taking it personally. Being gay? I now know to respect difference. Years of homophobic abuse? I accept there is real evil in the world, not everyone is a friend.

You see, from just about every negative there will be a positive outcome if we just step back and look for it. We’ll go through pain until we see it but, it’s there all the same.

When we read negativity don’t distance yourself from that person, offer them something instead, some of your time. Time means so much, more than we ever really appreciate until we get it offered to us freely, time is the start of switching from negative to positive.

It’s maybe presumed that because I write negatively occasionally that I am a negative person, I am really not. Indeed, were I not such a positive person I think I should have gone mad years ago!

Those who know me well enough occasionally get infuriated by my positivity, when all they can see is negativity I jump in with an alternative more positive synopsis of a situation. Sometimes I even use a whole selection of stupendously long words, you may have noticed that?

Now, I have mentioned in other entries that, now and then, stuff really is sort of poo, there is no point asking someone to think of the positives in their life because, right at that moment they need to let go of the negatives first, it’s easier than it sounds. I use visualisation as one tool, breathing methods is another, writing yet another. Adding up all the positives doesn’t always work, maths and the mind don’t always come to the same answer.

So, when we have a negative, it’s worth asking someone else if they can see any way that this negative can be worked in our favour. In the same way as manure can be used to grow wonderful plants, perhaps our own life manure (not from the toilet please) can be used to help build our own future?

As an experiment, and this can’t, as far as I am aware, happen … try to imagine, if you will, that you have a time machine. Don’t complicate things, there is only one time machine and only you know about it. Think of a time in your life when you felt bad, a time in your life you wish didn’t happen. In your mind go back and change it, how ever you feel you would rather that would have gone. Done that? Good, now, I want you to take an honest look at your life from this new point, are you absolutely certain that change you just made won’t have affected any aspect of your current life you get some value from?

I can count on one hand the amount of things I could change with little to no impact upon my future. I can’t go back and stop my mother dying, it would change everything I now know. I can’t get that job in New York I regret not getting, that would really have changed everything. Losing my first boyfriend to a misunderstanding? I’d have no kids or grandkids now if I did that.The list goes on and those are just the events I can sort of predict the outcomes from.

How about those times I got delayed somewhere? How can I be sure that the delay didn’t actually save my life? All those bad sexual partner choices? I know now what I don’t want! All that pain as a kid? I learnt empathy. Caring for years? I learnt to put others first, how to deal with puke, poo and being hit without taking it personally. Being gay? I now know to respect difference. Years of homophobic abuse? I accept there is real evil in the world, not everyone is a friend.

You see, from just about every negative there will be a positive outcome if we just step back and look for it. We’ll go through pain until we see it but, it’s there all the same.

When we read negativity don’t distance yourself from that person, offer them something instead, some of your time. Time means so much, more than we ever really appreciate until we get it offered to us freely, time is the start of switching from negative to positive.

Hearing news of how my reputation is being ripped apart by false stories about me obviously hurts. It hurts because it means that, to some, these stories might come across as credible because they don’t know me. It might actually stop someone getting helped by me who could really do with being helped by me.
I accept why these lies are in existence, it is because someone gains something from them whether it be the moral high ground or a free lifestyle doesn’t much matter but, ironically, by telling those lies I am actually still being the same person I was when I helped them directly, at least partly, because I exist they are getting some sort of help, support or free ride, call it what you will. It is ironic that in seeking to damage me they are actually acknowledging my worth to them being the same as it always was.
Unfortunately, there will be victims in this, for every lie there is at least one believer. By the time they realise they’ve been duped it will be too late, they will be aware that they too spread those lies about me, they will have to live with that in their own minds,
You see, I know I am a good person. I know my intentions were always good even when I occasionally, perhaps all too often got things wrong. That someone makes up something horrid about me doesn’t change the absolute truth. It’s one of the other things we learn from the books which make the Bible, turn the other cheek. The actions of others do not have to make us a different person, we cannot be responsible for them or their actions. What we do about the abuse they inflict upon us is what defines us, they already defined themselves with their deeds.
I don’t hate, I refuse to because that changes the person I am. I don’t have to hate to remove someone from my life, I just need to learn. Once I have accepted that they have no capacity to accept the love I offer there is no more I can reasonably do.
I do regret the damage my actions caused to the genuine people around me, when I was faced with such a strong need to help and support another human I lost sight occasionally of others who also needed me. Long term though, I think I’d probably do the same again because I feel, though it was hard it was also needed.
The moral here is, if you feel that what you are doing is the right path to travel down then, walk that path just, keep your eyes open, if you see signs saying you’re going the wrong way, don’t ignore them, turn on the satnav, ask for help and get some truth into your new direction.
The above is taken from years of learned experiences, not just with any one individual, I’ve been the real me since around 1998 so, there will always be way more than one such situation.

Hearing news of how my reputation is being ripped apart by false stories about me obviously hurts. It hurts because it means that, to some, these stories might come across as credible because they don’t know me. It might actually stop someone getting helped by me who could really do with being helped by me.
I accept why these lies are in existence, it is because someone gains something from them whether it be the moral high ground or a free lifestyle doesn’t much matter but, ironically, by telling those lies I am actually still being the same person I was when I helped them directly, at least partly, because I exist they are getting some sort of help, support or free ride, call it what you will. It is ironic that in seeking to damage me they are actually acknowledging my worth to them being the same as it always was.
Unfortunately, there will be victims in this, for every lie there is at least one believer. By the time they realise they’ve been duped it will be too late, they will be aware that they too spread those lies about me, they will have to live with that in their own minds,
You see, I know I am a good person. I know my intentions were always good even when I occasionally, perhaps all too often got things wrong. That someone makes up something horrid about me doesn’t change the absolute truth. It’s one of the other things we learn from the books which make the Bible, turn the other cheek. The actions of others do not have to make us a different person, we cannot be responsible for them or their actions. What we do about the abuse they inflict upon us is what defines us, they already defined themselves with their deeds.
I don’t hate, I refuse to because that changes the person I am. I don’t have to hate to remove someone from my life, I just need to learn. Once I have accepted that they have no capacity to accept the love I offer there is no more I can reasonably do.
I do regret the damage my actions caused to the genuine people around me, when I was faced with such a strong need to help and support another human I lost sight occasionally of others who also needed me. Long term though, I think I’d probably do the same again because I feel, though it was hard it was also needed.
The moral here is, if you feel that what you are doing is the right path to travel down then, walk that path just, keep your eyes open, if you see signs saying you’re going the wrong way, don’t ignore them, turn on the satnav, ask for help and get some truth into your new direction.
The above is taken from years of learned experiences, not just with any one individual, I’ve been the real me since around 1998 so, there will always be way more than one such situation.