If God doesn’t exist …

Why do coincidences happen more frequently after I pray for them? Why is there a pattern to my life which, taken as a whole makes sense?

Now, my faith doesn’t, any more than the entirety of my life, follow the flow or ‘normality’. I don’t go out of my way to be different more, I feel I would have to go out of my way to conform and find it so much easier to be honest with myself, be myself.

I don’t know about you, I feel sometimes I have been afraid of trusting my own judgements in case I are wrong and only have myself to blame. But then I remind myself, everything in life needs some form of manure to grow. Some things can grow OK in unfertilised pastures but, honestly, adding in some manure really moves things along. This is the very best of lives. I am convinced that if I were never ill, if nothing went wrong, if I were never broke, I couldn’t fully appreciate the incredible nature of my life. Does a rich person appreciate a lottery win the same way or as intensely as a poor person?

So, for me, I feel God or Jesus or a representative thereof, has educated me just enough to know what is right and what is wrong. Not to a state of perfection but enough for me to know I have to follow my judgement because, even my bad judgements move me toward a positive outcome or, perhaps just better experience to help someone else, either of those has to be what life is about.

I can go back to dear Mr Green when I was a small child, perhaps as young as 4 or 5 and he would take me along to Sunday School, on a Sunday morning, naturally enough! I was taught a lot there but, somehow I only strongly recall some of the very basics amongst the teaching.

The teachings were all about being humble, how the disciples were humble, how they gave of themselves selflessly and asked for nothing in return, not charge for sharing the words of Jesus … sure, some bread, fish and a bit of wine/water greatly appreciated but, not one of them got a big house from sharing the word or ever wrote about a career path, it was a calling. They trusted that God would provide and, on the whole, he did.

There was a teaching about how angry Jesus got to see men (probably women too, I don’t remember the passage that clearly) that these people were using a place of worship to make an income, for profit, for personal gain.

You see, I am aware of such teaching and it gets me to thinking how many of our large churches or cathedrals charge admission and practically for a contribution from worshippers. Very little of this income goes to helping the needy as it would have done back in the time of Jesus, so much of it goes on expensive large houses for perhaps one person, a very good salary and a management structure, some goes on a building and what is left either remains in the bank or might be given to good causes.

Entire passages of the Bible, both Old and New Testament have been written falsely or deliberately misleading so as to secure more power for the higher management of the church. No Church anywhere should contain symbols of wealth when so many are starving worldwide.

You see, we were given a church, ‘we’ are the church, we don’t need old, ornate buildings, a field will do, is perhaps better as we can stare upon creation whilst conversing with a higher form. I remember so often being on a journey, watching out the window and thinking just how incredible it all is, so much natural, overwhelming beauty but, of course, I suppose that could just be our influence, digging, planting and generally living or, we might want to just think, wow!

Back in the early 1990’s when I was still married and the boys were very young, I took us on a very long walk, not a very well planned long walk but one which looked like it would be enjoyable. It was an incredibly hot day, we took no water with us, had no mobile phone back then and, the children, by the time we got to the destination many miles away, were getting quite unwell, with tiredness and dehydration. We tried to find a way back without a two hour walk, there wasn’t one so, I prayed. I said that I had no answer for this one I didn’t know what to do …. instantly afterwards a Spanish lady approached me, she spoke no English but she was clearly asking if we were OK. I communicated we were not really, that the boys were suffering and we were stuck. She beckoned us to follow to her small car already close on full with her own family and said we were to get in. She drove us to a place of safety, refused any payment with a wonderful smile and drove off. Coincidence it might have been but I’ve several like that!

I believe I have been trusted to find my own path but, every now and again something happens to remind me I am not perfect, I make mistakes. I always find a way to see how something positive came from the bad experiences, I could write a book from such things (but this isn’t it).

So, I have a faith, God, Jesus and my family and friends who have passed, are with me, guiding me and, I think, exercising the sort of sick humour I know them to have.

Right now I have the man of my dreams with me, we’re about to get married … that’s something else that religion has corrupted, Jesus has no real issues with us …. I should be so overjoyed and, of course, a deeper part of me is … but, we’re loads in debt, my health has taken a tumble, I can’t even sleep with Dennis at the moment because I cough most of the night and I feel bad enough physically through lack of sleep without making Dennis feel ill too so … my level of happiness is helped to grow with a huge dollop of manure, just as I’d expect!

My advice would be, keep moving forward because, even if you cannot yet see why you are going through a bad patch, it will fit in with your life path eventually, you’ll see it had to happen for you to get down the road you will eventually walk on.

Try playing the game of time travel changes but, look at the broader picture. Go back to any point in your life and be honest about changing those bad experiences, would you still be where you are now had they never happened? Would you still know the people you know, have the work that you do? I find so little in my life I dare change, I can see hot it all lings in to me being where I am and, that’s comforting to me.

God chooses what person he wants to be, we’re encouraged in that direction but, ultimately, how we get there is up to us.

Leave a Reply