The Power of ‘Sorry’

Perhaps it’s a survival of the fitness throw back not to seem ‘weak’ that so many people are averse to saying ‘sorry’.

It is one of the most powerful words however it is translated.

It isn’t an admission of a failure, it’s an acknowledgement that things are not going the way they should.

Those who have tried to use the word more have discovered the huge effects it has on their communication with others.

If you have a disagreement with someone and you’ve reached a point scoring stalemate, just say ‘sorry’ and see what happens.

“I’m sorry, this is not the way I wanted to this conversation to go, can we start again?”

That’s not the same as saying that you are wrong and they are right, it’s an acknowledgement of your regret that this just isn’t satisfying anyone.

You could go on all evening one point scoring reply after another, he said this, she said that and where does it get anyone?

Look at these two examples of a couple when (in this case) he comes in from work:

Him “What’s for dinner love/”

Her “What do you mean, what’s for dinner? I only got in myself 10 minutes ago, what are you doing for dinner”

Him “But I left home half hour before you do I’ve been working more than you so why can’t you do it?”

Her “Because I had to pick up all your dirty clothes off the floor after you left and then, when I got in this morning I noticed you’d left the bathroom in a mess so I just did that so, now what do you have to say?”

Him “Well, I get paid the most so therefore my job is more important than yours so you’ve got no argument really”

Her, “What the actual ****!”

Now, we can see from this that the argument is going on for a long time, indeed, we’re probably getting close to the sort of time it would have taken to prepare food and they’ve no got actually any closer to doing it.

Try this alternative:

Him “What’s for dinner love/”

Her “What do you mean, what’s for dinner? I only got in myself 10 minutes ago, what are you doing for dinner”

Him “But I left home half hour before you do I’ve been working more than you so why can’t you do it?”

Her “Because I had to pick up all your dirty clothes off the floor after you left and then, when I got in this morning I noticed you’d left the bathroom in a mess so I just did that so, now what do you have to say?”

Him “I’m sorry love, this isn’t how I meant this to go, can we start over? What about we both cook?”

Now, you can see, he’s not actually backed down, he’s just admitted that the conversation isn’t going anywhere and changed the direction with the word ‘sorry’.

There are countless examples where the use of ‘sorry’ can make for a better life, try it on for size.

Remember, the focus should be on what you want the outcome to be, not essentially the words you use to get there, the quicker you move toward the outcome the better with the least upset to either party. No one likes the feeling of being put upon. Don’t do it, say ‘sorry’

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