It’s so difficult to cope with a condition I know will never get better.
To carry on being me with ME.
I love easily, I help beyond my capacity, I forgive endlessly.
I do those things because of who I am. Who I want to be but …
Doing so is breaking me.
I need to learn not to volunteer, to say no, to not care when someone acts let down by my decisions. I need to stop wearing my heart on my sleeve, to make others prove their value of me before I keep on giving.
For maybe the last dozen years I have just been on a destructive path. Trying to do the right thing and being taken for granted for it.
Agreements of any kind made to me have no value, they are taken back when the giver changes their mind no matter how sincere the promise felt at the time.
To cope with ME, alone, I need to stop being me.
By the way, if you don’t understand the title is about my condition, you don’t know me well enough to matter or, you don’t care enough to remember.
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