Why is the UK great?

You see, right there I have readers shaking their heads and asking, are you mad?

British people are about as unpatriotic as any nation can be likely caused by a succession of government which rather than pull us together, drove us apart to create division and detract for their own failings.

Is the UK really so terrible?

In my opinion, no, it’s not. As a country we have lost out way rather a lot, society has some very real issues. However, the bedrock of the country, the land and the climate, they are much as we would expect for these lands.

What do I hear those around the world say of the UK?

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  • It’s so quaint, all those cute little villages – Sure, we have a lot of cute old villages dating back centuries but, that is not who we are, that’s just a tourist ideal
  • Isn’t it always raining in the UK? – Actually, just about every year we ban the use of hosepipes in a lot of counties because we are in a drought situation, we simply have not had enough rain. Sure, we do get rain. Unlike some other countries, there is no rainy season, it can happen any time of year. It used to be mainly April we would have showers but, global warming lost that for us.
  • It’s so cold there – Way up north in Scotland and especially on the hills, sure, it can get really cold. Realistically, if you as an interest person not liking the cold will avoid those areas and look down south. Right now we are around 28°C, tomorrow I see will be 30°C and, that’s quite warm for anywhere! It’s very humid though.
  • At least I don’t need sun block as it’s either going to rain or be too foggy! – Look, rain I already covered but on it, don’t let it fool you. Even through those showers the UV index can be really high especially in June/July. As for fog, there is a generation of Brits won’t have seen it ever! It was a construct of heavy industry with factories and homes using copious amounts of filthy coal and other messy stuff which hung in the atmosphere. We have cleaned up considerably in the last few decades. I am 60 and whilst it was regular when I was a kid it is more a morning mist now and rather than being pollution it’s just nature evaporating the lying water.
  • Your food is so bland, you don’t eat anything exciting or tasty. – This is an absolute myth based on a misunderstanding. You see, our land is very multicultural, we are a blend of hundreds of different nations and, over the years, our recipes have been shared and just about anything goes. We have comfort food which some might consider bland, only because it’s generally badly cooked. Fish & Chips needs to have fresh fish, the fresher the better. Many restaurants cook fish from the freezer and who is to say how old it is? Of course it’s going to have no flavour. We stop using those places mostly. The Sunday Roast? Yes, unavoidably that can be bland, no two ways about it. Sauces have to be added to make it OK. Shepherds and cottage pie, not the same thing but similar. That’s down to recipe and the quality of ingredients. Cooked fresh with good ingredients there is no reason for it to be bland at all. The Great British Breakfast (fry up) … a little bit of a myth that one as it implies there is only one. There are many variations on it to the point that much of it and occasionally, all of it is not fried at all! (I prefer it that way). But, back to the multicultural nature of the UK … Curry is one of our most popular take out meals (from India), Kebabs often follow from a night out (Greece). Indeed, we have restaurants with food from all over the world. Just lately I am seeing more Filipino venues showing up as well.
  • Beaches, what’s the point, you don’t have any good beaches? – There is a related truth in that but, it’s complicated! The sea even on the hottest days, never gets higher than 20°C, the in the cooler months it’s around 6°C and although some hardy people do swim in it, on the whole we don’t do much more than paddle. We do, however, have some amazing beaches, some of the best and great surfing beaches too. Sadly, the government we have had the past 13 years have allowed our seas to get contaminated with filth. Rich corporate water companies continue to pump raw sewage into our waterways making many of them unsuitable or unsafe to use.
  • Isn’t everything just so expensive there? – Hands up, the answer is yes. Sadly any excuse and hospitality gets greedy. A little inflation and they raise prices to exceed it and when inflation lessens, those prices remain high. Right now we are suffering food inflation way over 16%. A standard McDonalds is close on £9 now almost double what it was a year ago and, for example, nearly three times the cost in the Philippines.
  • So, when it’s not summer then it’s just winter right? Oh no! – Spring and Autumn are two of the nicest times to be here. The winter is absent of colour, the leaves are off the trees, flowers do not grow, it’s just drab. Then spring happens and it comes to life! Birds are busy mating, flowers bloom, trees blossom, it’s a sight to see, honestly. Autumn follows summer and nature starts to shut down ready for winter. The colours on the trees are incredible, all shades of yellow, orange, red, it’s magical. The past few decades winter has been mild, it’s rare to get snow except on high ground. For several mornings there will be ice on cars and sure, it can get a little chilly even in the warmer parts getting down to -9°C on occasion but, mostly it’s just somewhere between 0° – 10°C. If wearing the right clothes it’s not really a problem. In summer, well as I said above, it can be really hot but, at the same time, it can change! I have known it in the low 20’s in May and then a week later, we do have snow, it can happen, it’s rare.
  • Your homes are all really old right, you have outside toilet’s and bath in front of the fire? – Sure, in many old movies that’s totally correct but I have always lived in a house with an inside toilet and a bath which has hot and cold water. Sure, as a kid in winter we had ice on the inside of the windows it was so cold but, that was 50+ years ago. Most, the vast majority have centrally heated homes and at least one full bathroom or shower. So, even our older places will be mostly fully upgraded by now.
  • Just how old are your places? – The newest are still being built, the oldest go back centuries. It is not unusual to live in an 18th century property and certainly 19th century. Let’s make no mistake, our history goes back 1000’s of years. A church in my town has parts of it dating back to the10th century.

Let’s look at some pictures of the UK

As you can see, if the tech works. the country can look so different depending on location and time of year. It is rarely plain. If you know where to look there is so much to see, it’s certainly worth seeking out the guide books and exploring outside of the big cities.

PEM

Post-exertional malaise (PEM) is the worsening of symptoms following even minor physical or mental exertion, with symptoms typically worsening 12 to 48 hours after activity and lasting for days or even weeks. PEM can be mitigated by activity management (pacing).

I have been suffering for a few weeks now and I am hoping that this week I can get myself back to some sort of pacing. Sadly, unless I want to risk something going horribly wrong, I am going to have to say no a lot more often.

Ah, but, I hear you say, you just need to push through it.

That is precisely my problem, I keep trying that. The results of stupidly trying to push through knowing that this very act makes matters significantly worse astounds me and yet, that is what I have been doing.

Do you know what it feels like to forget your address? I have lived here over 20 years and I just couldn’t remember it. I was totally relaxed, not stressed at all and my brain just wouldn’t go there. That is a result of pushing through. It’s scary, it feels how dementia must feel. It’s not just a moment of blankness, it took me many minutes, too many minutes using a process of elimination before I got it close enough, it still wasn’t quite there but it was near to it!

Driving knowing I am too tired, that I am not at all alert and having to push through to get from A to B. That is mega scary. Planning a trip around a nap break. Not because I didn’t sleep at all, just because it didn’t work.

By exercising we are not referring here to going for a run or even a walk. It can be something like doing household chores, even feeding the cat! Mostly the above chart is spot on. It’s all very depressing in nature but, it is what this condition feels like and it’s not imagined.

Having too many days when waking up feels exactly the same as heading to bed, nothing has changes apart from some missing hours. Knowing that last night I went to bed feeling like this but somehow, I got to get through this day feeling how I felt last night!

Pleasure being measured by the possibility of just sleeping. Getting into bed, putting the phone too far away to hear, no alarm clock, no deadline, just resting.

The absolute madness of seeing a call come in on my mobile and knowing that the very action of taking that call is going to ruin every plan I had for the day. Trying to stay cool and not get mad at them when right there and then I just wish they’d left me alone. It’s always wanting me to do something, ideally now. So rarely do I get a call where someone just says “fancy a coffee, my treat”.

Even when I am given help I hear through the grapevine that they felt compelled to do them, like I am some great burden. It’s just so amazing when someone does something for me which makes my life better, no complaints, no reluctance, just doing it ‘because’.

Just writing this I feel my mind shutting down. Typing is more difficult as I go, more mistakes. I lose words. I start of typing and cannot think of the next word or anything like it. I feel what I want to write but the words just won’t come to me.

In the diagram above it goes a little understated or, over emphasise on quite hefty activities. It seems to imply that a sufferer going about their normal daily tasks or work and social suffer. This is way more basic than that. Just making breakfast cereal in the morning can render me unfit to drive. I know this and tend to avoid eating when I know I have to drive. As for the blue section, most are such radical events. I can get exhausted just by an attitude someone gives me, anything negative at all. It’s not realistic to expect constant adoration and praise but, all too often I feel I am being got at, used even just by the vibes I pick up that I am just too much effort.

Tomorrow I have a couple of things I need to do, I might even trim those down a little. Thursday I just have to get Dennis to and from work. I need to force myself to sleep at the other times.

I saw a shocking picture of a friend being treated for a very noticeable condition. I know they are getting shit tons of support (rightly so) and just sometimes I think to myself, why can’t people just see what I am going through here?

Incommunicado

From 8th May for at least 5 days I have to give notice that whilst I might be available for social occasions I am totally out of bounds for any assistance anyone might need.

This includes but is not limited to, driving, IT support, Interior Design, cooking and so on.

I owe it to ‘me’ to take the break, get myself some sanity back!

When I get to the point I struggle to remember my address and fall on escalators, it’s the time to stop!

Thoughts today

For most of my adult life I think I’ve lift for now. Maybe I am in the minority for that with so many investing for the future, ensuring their retirement is the best time of their lives. There is a lot of merit in that but, here is why I chose not to do it.

Way up there on the top of that list is that my mother died at 52. Her and Dad went down the route of saving for their retirement, buying a house and so on and yet, there she was. For her it didn’t pay off and how might her life had been different had she lived to the full whilst she could?

My nan would have got another 13 years out of her life in retirement though, she didn’t take the route of investment for the future. She remained in her council house her entire life and seemed happy. Nowhere near as stressed as the home owning elements of the family. Her husband, my grandad, he went at 67. He got just two years of retirement before he died.

A boss of mine had this huge retirement party when he left at 65 on his last Friday which turned out to be just that, his last Friday.

You may have gathered that what I am saying here is, to me, buying a house, going short, managing for most of my life didn’t seem to make sense, I just didn’t know what the future would hold.

I cannot say how my life would have been different if I had of gone the house ownership route. What differing opportunities I may have had and taken. Would I have picked up a virus in 2014 which would leave me disabled for the rest of my life? Maybe not.

If I did not invest for the future, what did I do?

Travelled mostly. My kids didn’t just read about Europe at school, they went there and not just the tourist places either. I know I got a lot out of that and I am sure they did too. Perhaps even a love of travel which will pass to my grandchildren, a legacy maybe?

My homes were always comfortable. Furniture was placed when it needed to be as were carpets and walls decorated. The kids grew up in lovely places despite all the family difficulties we were to face.

Sure, in the back of my mind there was always that question: What about when I am older and perhaps in need of extra love and support? I always imagined it would be like my nan. Always getting someone popping in, invited over for Sunday dinner, doing holidays with her children and never alone at Christmas. Sadly, it is looking like that is not going to happen to me but, it was my gamble to take and I would do it all again just the same.

Here and Now I still need to invest in my comfort. All the carpets needed to be replaced, many are over 20 years old. It was bugging me that they looked so horrible and were impossible to keep clean so, they are being done. I still feel the need to feel safe and comfortable in my own home. I know it is ‘only’ a rented place. These spends will gain me nothing financially but, that is not my chosen path. What they do now is to ensure my life is as pleasant as it can be.

The problem for me, having a much younger husband is that we differ in our outlook. When he retires I will be 83 presuming the retirement age remains as it is. I won’t have many years in front of me assuming I last that long. Investing heavily now for that future is too high risk for me. For him it makes perfect sense. In 20+ years he can retire in comfort to his country of birth still a relatively young man. It makes sense for him and yet, not for me. Sure, I could get lucky and live until I am 100 but, it doesn’t look likely given my health issues.

My children, they aspire to house ownership and I would always argue, if the salary is high enough that it’s not a significant drain on daily living and leaves plenty of saving room then, it’s good, long term it makes sense knowing that some day that mortgage is paid and that will be extra in pocket income. However, if they must struggle to afford it, I can only advise, don’t do it. Enjoy your lives and your time with the children whilst you are able.

Ultimately, we only know which case is right or wrong when we die. Only then do we know whether we made the right choice or not. For now, I have some amazing memories to carry with me, worth every penny.

I’ve included a gallery which only brings me up to 2010 with so many great times after that.