Actually, no, it is just me getting a Sunday off!

I spent a lovely time with Robin, Tony, David, Greg, Tom and Gary at the Navigator in Cosgrove. It was really good to be with guys of such a vast age range from 18 – 65 with me somewhere near the middle of them all.

There was quite some discussion over my flagging sex drive but no conclusions as such. I think Tom may like to experiment to see if he can find it but that isn’t really what I or he needs right now! Tom is trying real hard to be good for Gary.

It got me to thinking though, is it a failing sex drive or a distrust of men? This all really started around last May in GC when I was with Nick and Martyn. I came to realise that I enjoyed sex with Martyn but not Nick and that was causing some conflict. I was seriously starting to think how workable a relationship with Martyn may be. Not very as a conclusion to that change of thoughts but even so, I thought them. Then, Nick passed on this STD to me and he handled it really bad. He shared it with Martyn too and, well, it wasn’t that we got his STD that was the problem but that he seemed totally unconcerned by it all.

Well, sex from that went out the window, I found out how painful a STD can be and I didn’t like it. Because of what happened on that holiday, the friendship with Martyn ended too, one of the few guys in the past few years that made sure I had a good time in bed. The only other guy to be able to do that was Steve who now lives in Swindon, I have a lot of luck with my choice of bed partners, they just don’t tend to be local. But the point here is this … I have not lost the need to have sex just the trust that any guy can want to take the time to make sure I have a good time and feel good about myself afterwards. Someone that doesn’t look at the clock and decide when I should orgasm! I just take my own time which, with the right guy, can be real quick, with others, it takes some work.

So, I need an understanding man, someone that is prepared to set aside a day to make me happy and allow me to trust again that someone can make me feel special … anyone out there?