Tired and Sad

It was a good weekend with the guys and I was sad to leave but I needed to at some point and I was feeling real tired so staying longer would not have been sensible. I was so tired that I don’t think I said a proper goodbye and thanks to Gary as I intended to, I am such an idiot at times.

After dropping Gary off I drove past Tony’s place. I was thinking I could stop but then, I didn’t know what he was doing. I had not called first as I promise I will and, to be honest, I was too tired to be in control of myself and I doubt Tony needs a blubbering mess visiting him.

Soon after I got back I was bombarded by Daisy being a little moo. She had been one all weekend and Matt had rightly grounded her. Actually, had she been more honest with me she would have just been stuck with one week grounded. As it happened, she now has two. It was great to be home to the arguments and the screaming, a wake up call.

I decided to call Tony, I couldn’t keep going not having spoken to him and I am so glad I did. He sounds awful, I mean, really bad. I cried myself silly when I got off the phone but am glad I didn’t make another excuse not to call. There will be plenty of time not to be able to speak to him; I don’t want to waste any chance I get now.

Called Pete once I had calmed down just to offer him love and support, I really just want to so hug him and not let him go.

Nick called later and asked me to visit tomorrow and said that maybe he could come to the airport with me to pick up Danny & Dan, I hope so but it is late. Tony asked me to go wake him when we got back so he can see me.

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