I have this need for adult company and yes, dare I say it, a little sex too. I can live without of course, I normally do!

It’s taken the best part of a week but I am just about back to normal now whatever that may be cos I sure as hell don’t know.

Trying to make plans for the future but not quite sure my head is quite that sorted as yet. Looked into possible holidays for next year with the kids, nothing is grabbing my fancy right now even if I had a healthy discount off it it still seems expensive.

I have countless weekends I need to arrange with Gary and Tom, something with Jason up in Hull if we can ever sort it out. This week I am off to Yorkshire with the kids to see Stan for a few days. I am meeting up with Si some time next month too up in Manchester and for that I think I shall need to reschedule a meeting I’d arranged but not a problem. That’ll be June done and then I can panic about Pink Punting. That currently stands at 148 interested but I know from Tony’s experience that having in excess of 200 interested was not uncommon yet around 50 would be a good turnout. It really depends on the weather and what we can arrange if it is crap.

Really quite enjoying spending time with the kids right now. Somehow, and I hate myself for saying this, Jermaine not being here as made the whole being a dad thing so much more enjoyable. This GC holiday was the first time that I found myself really missing the kids badly. I mean, I always miss them but this time I was missing them each on an individual level rather than just as ‘the kids’.

As I knew I would, I miss GC already. I think I just like how relaxing it is and how so many of the bar staff and waiters know me. It’s just good to be somewhere so familiar even if the main thrust of it, the sex, doesn’t really appeal to me that much. Next time I shall try it different I think whenever that next time may be.

This bloody weather is really getting me down. I just want to be able to relax and wear nice stuff, well, I am wearing nice stuff but perhaps a little less of it would be even better!

I so need reversing sensors fitted to the car and keep getting annoyed with myself for not having it done already. I did get the wing mirror sorted and was relieved by the £25 tag and they fitted it too so even better.

As per usual for me, I seem to be making some good contacts all over the place. How many of them I follow up I don’t know what with the gay world being so pathetically drawn to sex. The problem for me is always sorting out those guys that want to be friends and those that don’t interest me that are only looking for a shag. If GC taught me anything, and it did loads, one thing is for sure … sex without some degree of love and emotion just isn’t so much fun. It doesn’t have the trust there that is so important to me. Knowing that the other guy cares enough to make sure I have fun too … OK, that one in GC got me confused but I am not going there right now as I have been over and over it in my mind and it’ll always confuse me. I just cannot see any explanation ever being given but enough about that, time to move onwards and sideways. I’d go upwards but can’t reach.

I’ve decided to get some more books. Apart from anything else, when I read I grab styling tips on my own writing and that has to be good. It is also a way of cutting off for a while, a handy way to kill time when I have to do that as well.

I feel like I am putting on more and more weight but I weighed myself and I am actually losing it so I guess I’ll just go with the feeling of being overweight until I get to the weight I want to be again!

Please a few days without rain, my back garden has nearly become a jungle again and the mower won’t touch it so most will have to be done with sheers and the strimmer, hardly something my shoulders are going to like one bit.

My outlaws wanted me to take the kids down to their place next month for a relatives golder wedding anniversary to which I am not invited, not family apparently. I didnt even wait for them to finish asking before I bluntly said no. Bloody cheek of it.

Off to see Jermaine tomorrow. Matt and me tried to discuss the other night what we would want to do if the worst happened but we both just sat there not saying anything so I guess it’s a bridge we’ll just have to cross when we come to it. No doubt when it happens those family members that have done fuck all for years will want to take over .. go to hell!