Much of today I have had a stress related headache. I think I am just having to do too many different things for too many people on demand. Whilst I would wish to be capable of doing so I think my body is telling me to calm down and ease off the throttle a little. It is time for those around me to be doing some more of their own thinking and decision making, taking responsibility for their own actions rather than seeking to either ignore the issues or place the burden of responsibility upon me. My natural inclination is to be all things to all people but it’s not happening. In trying to do so I am losing myself.
If I should seem detached from what I perceive to be the little issues or suggest strongly that someone sort a problem themselves, I do expect that to happen. I will be there for the big things that people really need my help with but as many around me are seeking my input with matters I know they can deal with themselves I am asking them to do so to allow me to regain some energy as I can’t be stretched beyond my limits.
The sort of questions I get asked are …
- “What should I do now?”
- “What should I eat?”
- “Why is there no bread?”
- “Should I go to ‘x’ or go to bed?”
- “What should we do in September?”
- “If ‘x’ happens, what should happen?” (With ‘x’ being an unlikely negative event)
Other frustrations for me are:
- When I am given the impression that someone has done something they said they would do only to discover that have either not done it or done the opposite.
- People expecting me to trust them when clearly they are incapable of taking responsibility for even the simplest of things
- Things being left a mess just because someone couldn’t be arsed or, as most likely happens. A mess is left with intent to clear it later. A second person adds to the mess rationalising that it was not their mess so they should not clear it up. The first person comes back to clear up and sees the additional mess and they rationalise that they did not cause this level of mess so they are not clearing it up … all meaning that either myself or John has to clear it up
- The apparent inability to do something as simple as replace a toilet roll
- The use of food intended as a dinner ingredient as an in between meal snack
- Telephone calls past 9:30 at night for nothing much. It is a time when I am trying to unwind and maybe watching the TV for the first time that day, just getting in to a programme and the phone rings and it doesn’t matter whether it is for me or one of the kids, it interrupts an otherwise peaceful time of day. Please, try to call before 9:30 (most that do won’t even be reading this) and if you do call after that time, try to make it something that couldn’t wait until the following day.
- People who come here for what seems to be little more than to use the internet. I am now being really hot on the kids when their mates come around … no net when mates are here.
- People that make themselves food or drink and don’t offer any to anyone else
- People I visit who leave the TV on. It is a distraction and it makes it difficult for me to hear anything.
- Mega hot on this one … anyone who uses their mobile phone to text whilst holding a conversation with me … people, it’s rude!
- Idiots that press both up and down on the lift call buttons
- Drivers that don’t correctly indicate especially on roundabouts.
- Those that use my brain for their own benefit with no intention of giving anything back with either a personal or computer problem.
- Cobwebs … they are everywhere at home and seem to return as soon as I eliminate them, it’s the 4th road bridge experience as so much of running this house is.
- People that go on and on with endless bullet point lists … oh
Earlier on today I discovered that thousands of people probably across the country are claiming DLA they are not entitled to and are totally unaware of it. It appears that anyone who is 100% health service funded loses their DLA entitlement and, because of a shake up in the way that service are funded over the past year or so, many have moved from local authority funding into NHS funding. Because nothing has changed for them physically it has not been pointed out that they needed to notify the DLA and would lose their entitlement. I have no idea how that mess is going to be dealt with.
Thankfully it doesn’t affect Jermaine as he’s not got DLA for 15 months anyway. It looked like there was a chance he’d get the mobility component reinstated with this move but then he’d have immediately lost half of it again to the care home for his transport needs leaving only £20 out of a possible £45 or, £1000 a year which would have been nice but not likely to have any serious impact on his quality of life. I am suspecting though that this news may affect him in other ways and I sense I will end up having to take the case to government to highlight the problem. If, as I hope won’t happen, the care home insist on Jermaine paying more toward transport costs than the NHS currently fund, it could seriously impact on his ability leave the home. As an example, we already know that any visit away from his home would incur a cost of around £450 per day. On top of this he would need to cover the cost of accommodation and food of three people including himself for the duration. For example, a simple weekend break to visit grandparents in Kent would be broken down as follows:
Two nights and three days in a basic hotel
Accommodation – £180
Food – £100
Care – £1,440
Total bill for a weekend break is £1,720
Jermaine’s income is £5,044 a year. One weeks holiday for him could take his entire income. In short, he won’t be having any holidays unless I can find an outside funding agency and I will do my level best to do so.
I guess that could be added to the list of things which annoy me.
Another niggle I am having right now is that I think the care home and NHS are together conspiring to take away my rights to handle Jermaine’s finances. It has sort of been mentioned a few times now how complicated it is me being his appointee and some have shown shock that the care home do not have control. I am seriously thinking now may be the correct time to get this court of protection over matters.
I’m gonna go watch TV now. Tomorrow may lead to another entry, one saying how it looks like the DWP are questioning Zoey’s entitlement to DLA. I so hope not but if they are and she loses it. I am having to find work and quickly.