I got a little angry earlier, indeed, really rather upset as it happens!

Since Jermaine has been in Corby I have considered I have had a good relationship with the carers there as though we were working together to make sure Jermaine had the best possible level of care.

Just in the last month or so I have had reason to doubt this was the case. They had become secretive in the way they have dealt with me. In particular after the attack by Simeon the atmosphere has felt less than it was.

They seem to have had real issues over the computer. I have asked several times if there was a problem as it never seems to be turned on. At least, MSN Messenger never seems to be running. Every time I have asked I have been told the PC was on and they had no idea why he did not appear to be online. I found out today they have been lying to me. It was explained to me from Lucy over at the PCT what has been happening behind my back.

Apparently someone or several someone(s) have taken it upon themselves to seriously object to the PC. They have reported back to line management that I have insisted his webcam is on 24/7. Rather than contact me for verification about this the management contacted CSCI (the inspectors) to clarify the legal situation. They have made it sound like we have installed 24/7 CCTV in Jermaine’s room and, unsurprisingly the inspectors have said that totally cannot happen and breaks care rules. Voyage (the new name for Milbury care) have then told Lucy that Jermaine is not allowed to have a webcam and if we get him a PC with a built in webcam they will not turn it on! Obviously this is utter bollocks as clearly Jermaine and the staff there still retain control over any webcam use but this is not the point. What upsets me is the destruction of the trust between us. I now feel that I have to question other elements of what I am being told as I am now aware that they will tell me lies when it suits them to do so. The meeting next week is going to end up being anything but what I would have liked it to be.

In the meantime, I have to set up his new PC when it arrives and have already started that process. It would be rather stupid if this becomes an ongoing dispute.

I have also learned that my fears re Lewis were well founded. He is bothering Jermaine by making a noise outside his room and coming in when he wants to. Carers are leaving Jermaine to attend to Lewis. It’s as though they simply will not learn from the past and insist on allowing the same things to happen over and over again. true, I don’t suspect Lewis would do the sort of damage that Simeon caused but that is not the point. Jermaine has a right to his safety zone and his privacy.

So far there have been no reports of Jermaine going to the cinema, swimming or, indeed, any other social activity beyond McDonalds. That was not the plan when he moved in and 5 months later they should have got used to him enough to allow these things to happen.

I am of the opinion that I need to make way more visits but at 16mpg my car is not exactly cheap to run. My only real option is to take the money from Jermaine’s account to pay for the fuel because, to all intents and purposes, these would not be social visits but more to check up on the level of care he is receiving and maybe to take him out more often.

Someone recently said I lead the life of Riley as I do on benefits for no apparent reason, well Mr I live in Spain now because of all the money I have earned, sod you, this is darned hard graft and I don’t get paid a penny from the state for looking after my son any more. I have two meetings for his benefit this month, both of those require a lot of research and problem solving … Life of Riley indeed!

On an unrelated note … motorbikes are just things, people come first, enough said

On yet another unrelated note, we only have one pot of money, we can’t spend it twice.

On an even more unrelated note, the number in the event of a fire is 999, I am and shall always be available as the ‘second’ point of contact.

I have done several good deeds in the past week, it cost me very little to do it, I thank you.

We have a friend who is about to join the army. I think he is wrong doing so now. He still doesn’t really know who he is and seems to be doing it because of how it makes his family feel. I wish he’d give it a year or so.

Illness is all around me, is it just a matter of time for me?