Today I found out that someone new was reading my blog, well, new to me as a known reader of this.

he has the impression of me being, actually, I shall use his words:

You come across as a troubled, confused and generally miserable individual and that’s not a prod at yourself but what I think.

Hmm, it got me thinking how some may have developed perceptions of me which don’t get anywhere near the real picture from reading this blog. I think the posts are varied enough that quite possibly if someone already has a perception of me they can find an entry which backs up their argument. They’ll find many others that contradict it but what they choose to use is entirely up to them.

For the record, gaps in my posts are generally meaning that I am not really phased by anything right now. Often those gaps can be quite long. In other words, most of the time I am really happy with my life.

There are bound to be times when I am pissed off at someone or something and those moments tend to get aired here. It doesn’t mean my life has come to an end or I am suffering from long term depression. yeah, I get days, hell, we must all get days when we’ll think ‘what the fuck’ but in the great scheme of things, they are just off days.

Quite often I find that just writing something down clears an issue from my mind or allows me to rationalise things. It’s also great to look back occasionally and see how I dealt with certain issues if they have cropped up again. Either I can copy what I did last time or try something else.

There are some who hold with the view that anyone who has some serious crap to deal with in their lives must also be quite screwed up. Yeah, I have known people like that but not me. I don’t have time for screwed up, if I allowed myself that luxury then the effect on others around me could be devastating as I know I am needed by a lot of people.

This blog was never intended to focus on the good stuff but, hey, there is no harm in mentioning some.

I had a right laugh with someone earlier, another carer. Deej and I are going there this Friday to fit up a trampoline. Her garden seems to get smaller each time she mentions it … I guess you needed to be on the phone to her for this to be funny.

Had a great visit with Jermaine yesterday. True, he kept dosing off but that’s not unusual if he’s been having some seizures. My dad was there as well who lives in Kent and it was good to catch up and have a giggle about things.

The garage I use to repair my cars has been amazing. They have been bending over backward to do me a good deal, calling in favours from others.

Next month we have loads of offers of places to go. Two BBQ’s too and thankfully, they don’t coincide so we can do both. We’ll be visiting friends and probably my dad. Deej and me will be meeting some net friends too for the first time. We were considering doing Brighton Pride but have decided against as the weekend would be too rushed.

A couple of online contacts have been suggesting some holiday ideas for next year for me to look into and I am getting quite keen on some of them … the idea, not the contacts!

Speaking of which, I got to chat on the phone to one of them recently, seems like a really nice guy.

This week has turned out to have been quite busy, a lot of people have needed me so my brain has been well and truly used. I like helping people if I can so this is a good thing. I sometimes have to say no just because getting overly tired with it makes me less effective.

I have been trying out again these past few days. Several guys from there were asking me to go back as they said it was in such a sorry state and they thought it needed me. I have no idea what they thought I could do but I have looked in and it seems the real issue is that it has no effective leadership. They (the leadership) have made it clear they really don’t have the time so it’s probably a lost cause. The net as a tool to make new contacts isn’t really that important to me right now, not from new sites anyway. I have been on for many years now and that’s where the majority of my net mates come from. By far the increase in my friends has come from friends of friends and those seem to be the relationships which are more important to me.

There are some really cool guys on Kagoul but I have either their phone numbers or MSN so really, the site itself isn’t important. It held some sentimental value to me because Tony introduced me to it and I have messages from him stored there. It’s a bit silly being sentimental over internet sites though!

Loads of peeps keep going on about Skeggy so I reckon I may just bite the bullet and head there one day during the school holidays. If it’s dire at least I’ll know for next time!

Wriitng about happy stuff is just so darned easy but it is late so anything else will have to wait until another day.

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