It seems that when ever something fairly shite happens it is on a Friday. Were it a Monday then I could do something about it and probably have it sorted by Tuesday but on a Friday it fucks up the weekend!

Firstly, the good stuff was having a great time bowling this morning. I scored 100 first time and then a 91 on the second game. Neither score is awful but I would have liked to have equalled or bettered the first attempt. Ironically, in the second game I had to take someone else’s turn and they scored more than me! OK, it was ‘me’ but that’s hardly the point.

On returning home there is a large white envelope on the door mat. I was still on quite a high on coming home but a little voice said in my head, I bet that’s from the garage I have threatened to sue, from their solicitors telling me to legally go forth and multiply. I was actually remarkably close. It was from solicitors but nothing to do with the car, indeed, most unexpected. It was solicitors acting on behalf of ‘Atari’. You know, them what has made games since the stone age. They were writing to inform me that they had evidence which proved that someone here had downloaded ‘Test Drive Unlimited’ and distributed across the internet. I had to think back some time but yes I did download it. Being Atari I thought it may be a good car game as I like the idea but have never really found one I am happy with. Knowing how good Roller Coaster Tycoon is I thought it was worth trying and if I liked it I’d buy myself a copy as I have done for Roller Coaster Tycoon and various other games. I just don’ have the spare cash to go buying games I later find to be crap. Anyway, I downloaded it, tried it, thought it was fairly pants and deleted it. For this I have been threatened with court action unless I agree to settle out of court for a figure of £565.00 being the costs incurred by Atari in investigating the ‘crime’.

I wrote back to them and informed them that I never intended to distribute an illegal copy and apologise for having done so. That I only intended to trial the program for a very limited time and, indeed, could have as easily downloaded a trial were one available but I just happened upon the game whilst browsing. I further said I don’t have the resources to pay them any amount by way of compensation and certainly have no intention of paying them over £500. That they incurred the fee is their own choice. Pursuing me further for the amount will not achieve anything as I am not their problem. Indeed, my intent was honourable and I could prove it. If they wished to continue the process I shall see them in court to argue my case, I did not expect them to win.

So, I was a little fooking miffed from that but such is life.

Later I thought I’d, as a formality sort out the loan to buy the Toyota. I started the online process but got stuck at the last hurdle with a part of the form which was not entirely clear. It said to call with any problems so I did. The guy at Abbey (why do I bother as they seem to be like French cars to me right now) anyway, this guy said it’d be quicker to go through the process online. I said Ok despite that I could barely hear him or understand his Irish accent. we got to the income stage, I said how much the monthly was and he said ‘no problem’ and then he asked, out of curiosity, was is it that you do, it doesn’t matter but he was interested. I said I was a carer, had been since 1993 and shall be for quite some time to come. He then asked, in that case, how was the income made up and I told him how it was made up, indeed, how it had just about always been made up since 1993. He then informed me that my income was not enough to even cover the outstanding balance on the existing load despite that no rules have changed, there are no laws about this but despite that I get more money now then I did in 2006 when I took out the loan and that this loan I am after is actually for a lot less money than I needed back then.

He said that Abbey rules on accept DLA as a qualifying benefit. I pointed out to him that this was actually a daft decision and also against previous decisions. It is daft because DLA is not more a fixed long term benefit than any other. That, as a carer, I am about a sure as bet as anyone currently employed. I further pointed out I had been a good, honest and reliable customer for 29 years and never defaulted on a payment for anything and my bank account is, more often than not, in credit. he said they don’t look at that sort of information, it isn’t important when making a decision on whether a loan should be awarded or not. That they didn’t make loans to people like me to protect us.

Anyway, I am meant to wait until Monday to call the guy back and see what he has to say after talking to his superiors. I just so suspect I am waisting my time and, if I am not and they have changed their mind, I am so once again placing yet another complaint in about the Abbey. At the very least, if I don’t qualify now then what was that guy in Milton Keynes doing giving me a loan for the higher amount 2 years ago?

So, as could be imagined, I am somewhat pissed off.

I sort of expect that Atari shall take me to court, I suspect they will win and I suspect I shall lose considerably more than £565 but to hell with it, I am actually beyond caring now. After a life of having shit thrown at me I am starting to think that perhaps it is time to admit that I am not going to win. I do a million things right and get fuck all, some silly thing wrong and I have a ton of shit dumped on me. I can’t have a reliable car which doesn’t cost me the earth to run, everything I have had to do has been one huge fuck of a struggle and, to be perfectly honest, I am tired of it, ready to just let things happen, what ever that might be, they can lock me up for all I care and the fooking Renault can this very night go up in smoke and my insurance company refuse to pay out. The Abbey can discover I am not a millionaire and cancel all my accounts. I really am just numb and sick of trying.

I am not depressed by the way, just so totally angry, there is no fooking justice. Somewhere down the line all the good someone has done should count for something.