Heartbroken

Six months ago I had a loving daughter who I had every reason to be proud of and then she started to speak to James, the sort of guy who lies first and then, if that doesn’t work he tries a different load of lies and, if he still doesn’t get his own way, he goes running to someone else to support his lies. They both lied about his mum throwing him out just to get him here because Daisy knew I was that stupid. They both lied about them having a relationship, because, as Daisy said, I have to trust her. They lied about having sex … when she was pregnant. You know, I think I can write for ever on here and still I am not sure I could find space for all the lies they have been telling. This past couple of weeks has seen such huge lies there has to be a record broken somewhere for the most amount of lies any one person can tell. On top of the lies is the self praise for not seriously damaging me! Yes, because I said James should give 24 hour notice about going to his mates because it was upsetting Daisy, this was enough for him to want to kill me and so praises himself up for his restraint in leaving the first time. That first time he was crying on the phone begging to come back saying how he really loved us all here and he’d do anything to be with Daisy … yeah, well that lasted a couple of days before he was telling lies and ignoring basic house rules again, even telling lies to Daisy too. Daisy then decided ‘she’ couldn’t trust him and told him to leave. So, true to form he plotted, with the help of his family, to get Daisy out of here. If he couldn’t get his own way here then, he’d damn well get it anyway by removing Daisy.

Loads of promises were made this weekend, we spent hours working on a plan to make it work for the two of them but this was never going to happen, I know this now, before I was just, as I have been for 6 months now, just plain stupid.

Daisy today spoke to someone at school who compared Daisy’s situation at home to her experience in the hands of an abusive mother. She advised Daisy to move out so Daisy told James and that sealed what then happened. Daisy tells me this evening that despite anything I say or do she is moving out. That she had told me earlier in the day that James family were being supportive of his return was a lie … well, actually, I don’t think it was, James just said that it was a lie but then, he’s a liar so who knows. I do know, from reading Daisy’s texts, that as of this morning she clearly still thought James was going to move back yet, this evening, she was telling me she knew he wasn’t.

So, I have no choice. I can’t face having Daisy living at home knowing she is going to be going off with this liar, this fraud of a boy (16), remember, Daisy was only 16 the end of April. So, I tell Daisy, when he starts banging on the door because I won’t let Daisy answer the phone to him because we are still talking, I tell Daisy to just go, if he is that amazing and she has so much confidence in him, go with him and he will provide for her because I can’t be lied to any more, it is hurting way too much. I can’t imagine enemies being so malicious as James has been toward our family.

This guy who is going to take care of her, who says, eating prawns is bad for the baby, takes her to his drug den. I am not making this up, they were in there smoking weed and Daisy would have been breathing that in, very good for the baby.

I offered to book them both into a hotel to keep Daisy safe, he’s the other end of the phone saying there are no drugs there, Daisy is in the background telling him to stop lying!

Tomorrow I expect him to go to social services as he should of tonight if he’d had half a brain and any respect for Daisy’s safety and that of his unborn baby. I expect him to make them give him and Daisy somewhere to live. I can’t afford another £65 for a hotel! On the plus side, at least I have an xbox to sell.

Before now I have been hurt but never like this. The feeling now is like it was when Tony died. I feel I have lost my daughter forever to a boy whose own self interest will not include Daisy being able to ever be close to us lot again, he won’t even let her speak on the phone to us unless he can hear. This boy calls me a control freak!

Timing, as usual with such things, is terrible.

I was keeping this to myself but, I am fit to explode so I am not going to … I need to know it is out there.

Several weeks ago I started losing weight and I couldn’t explain why. I checked myself in the usual places and all seemed well. A couple of weeks ago I started noticing a problem with my speech, sound would drop out. I am now having trouble breathing. Last time this happened I had a growth on my vocal chords, it feels like that again.

I am at the hospital Thursday and will find out more then but, if I am honest, I have been shitting bricks for what feels like forever … and then, this.

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