Week one went well, a few ripples of problems but nothing we could not deal with … this week, this second week though, it feels different. It feels like, for some, the novelty has worn off a little. That they are moving on to things far less important, far more temporary and steeping back from the future.
22nd October seems painfully close, too close for comfort and yet, I have an all too familiar feeling that it is being ignored, like, it doesn’t matter what may or may not have been agreed, that things can carry on ‘as is’ regardless. Well, it isn’t up to me. I am, as it happens, becoming weary of mediating, of keeping things going and pulling something out of the hat to allow this situation we are in to work. It is, very much so, tiring. Should I continue to take a part if it appears that not everyone involved is taking their own role seriously? Would it be better to allow things to just ‘happen’? Maybe let people more directly involved make choices and step back regardless of my feelings?
I hope that on this particular feeling I am wrong, that I am allowing my suspicions to take control of my thought processes where the lack of trust has left a void. But, many times before I have trusted and been let down. I have believed a promise which was never fulfilled. I think, for me, this coming weekend will be a decider, the time I commit to either further help or to stepping back. I want to be oh so very wrong but just maybe, sometimes, some people, cannot be helped.