Year: 2009

Week one went well, a few ripples of problems but nothing we could not deal with … this week, this second week though, it feels different. It feels like, for some, the novelty has worn off a little. That they are moving on to things far less important, far more temporary and steeping back from the future.

22nd October seems painfully close, too close for comfort and yet, I have an all too familiar feeling that it is being ignored, like, it doesn’t matter what may or may not have been agreed, that things can carry on ‘as is’ regardless. Well, it isn’t up to me. I am, as it happens, becoming weary of mediating, of keeping things going and pulling something out of the hat to allow this situation we are in to work. It is, very much so, tiring. Should I continue to take a part if it appears that not everyone involved is taking their own role seriously? Would it be better to allow things to just ‘happen’? Maybe let people more directly involved make choices and step back regardless of my feelings?

I hope that on this particular feeling I am wrong, that I am allowing my suspicions to take control of my thought processes where the lack of trust has left a void. But, many times before I have trusted and been let down. I have believed a promise which was never fulfilled. I think, for me, this coming weekend will be a decider, the time I commit to either further help or to stepping back. I want to be oh so very wrong but just maybe, sometimes, some people, cannot be helped.

Week one went well, a few ripples of problems but nothing we could not deal with … this week, this second week though, it feels different. It feels like, for some, the novelty has worn off a little. That they are moving on to things far less important, far more temporary and steeping back from the future.

22nd October seems painfully close, too close for comfort and yet, I have an all too familiar feeling that it is being ignored, like, it doesn’t matter what may or may not have been agreed, that things can carry on ‘as is’ regardless. Well, it isn’t up to me. I am, as it happens, becoming weary of mediating, of keeping things going and pulling something out of the hat to allow this situation we are in to work. It is, very much so, tiring. Should I continue to take a part if it appears that not everyone involved is taking their own role seriously? Would it be better to allow things to just ‘happen’? Maybe let people more directly involved make choices and step back regardless of my feelings?

I hope that on this particular feeling I am wrong, that I am allowing my suspicions to take control of my thought processes where the lack of trust has left a void. But, many times before I have trusted and been let down. I have believed a promise which was never fulfilled. I think, for me, this coming weekend will be a decider, the time I commit to either further help or to stepping back. I want to be oh so very wrong but just maybe, sometimes, some people, cannot be helped.

Joshua Jai was born Saturday. 26th Sept at 11:55 weighing 8lbs 4oz.

Daisy started to have contractions on Thursday morning but they were not strong enough to get her ‘established’ until Saturday. We actually got caught short in Tesco and had to dash home because she couldn’t walk any more!

There were two midwives here, at home, during the birth along with myself and Sean the whole time with James around most of the time as well. Deej wandered in and out, made teas and generally worried for England along with Zoey.

Daisy was amazing. No screaming, no time wasting. She used each one of those contractions for all it had.

Joshua was born healthy with no damage done to Daisy.

James has been here loads and has turned out to be one amazing dad. Sean too has stepped up to the mark and taking his role seriously. Daisy, of course, has taken to motherhood like a duck to water. I am very proud of all three of them.

Of course, all is not perfect, some people, and they know who they are, have made virtually zero effort and yet expect to be treated as royalty … At first I thought I could make allowances and volunteer some support but, I have to accept that I have limitations and I just don’t need to take any responsibility for those people. They made their bed … and all that!

Joshua Jai was born Saturday. 26th Sept at 11:55 weighing 8lbs 4oz.

Daisy started to have contractions on Thursday morning but they were not strong enough to get her ‘established’ until Saturday. We actually got caught short in Tesco and had to dash home because she couldn’t walk any more!

There were two midwives here, at home, during the birth along with myself and Sean the whole time with James around most of the time as well. Deej wandered in and out, made teas and generally worried for England along with Zoey.

Daisy was amazing. No screaming, no time wasting. She used each one of those contractions for all it had.

Joshua was born healthy with no damage done to Daisy.

James has been here loads and has turned out to be one amazing dad. Sean too has stepped up to the mark and taking his role seriously. Daisy, of course, has taken to motherhood like a duck to water. I am very proud of all three of them.

Of course, all is not perfect, some people, and they know who they are, have made virtually zero effort and yet expect to be treated as royalty … At first I thought I could make allowances and volunteer some support but, I have to accept that I have limitations and I just don’t need to take any responsibility for those people. They made their bed … and all that!