Christmas

A very merry Christmas wish to everyone.

I would like it known, because it is not always obvious, that I do understand and accept the ‘Christ’ part of the day. I have no respect for most organised religions, they are out for power and glory of themselves, little to do with Christianity.

The true meaning of Christianity is a friendship with God and Jesus and, because of that, an understanding of the right way to be to all those around us but … we don’t just need religion to understand about that, other things can lead us in the right direction too. Having just watched ‘A Christmas Carol’ I can tell you that Dickens did a lot to help us find the true meaning of the bible, the essence and what is important about the bible. That we make mankind our business, that we love people and trust people and always try to see good in others and God is an important part of ‘good’.

I try to live my life according to my understanding of the teachings of Christianity. I don’t always manage it but, because of it I allow myself to try, over and over again if need be, to help others who need it. It is a shame that it sometimes takes organised religion to make them see but then, I don’t know, is that it? I am probably conceited but, I really feel if others cannot see the good in me, the ‘God’ in me and my genuine love, then, quite possibly they are not really seeing it anywhere else either. Can a person mistrust my motives but then believe others simply because they have a place of worship to their name?

When I die, and I have to at some point. I would love more than anything else to be remembered for the man who saw the good in others and gave them the chance to see the good in themselves.

I am glad if I managed to help Alex and Robin. I am thankful too that guys whose names I don’t feel it is right to mention here are alive today because of my efforts. I hope many may find their lives better for knowing me because, if that is true, life is surely worth living. James, my failure. I tried everything, all that I knew and it wasn’t enough. I cannot believe he knows God any better now than he did before. He brings about failure in everyone who knows him because, he has not found God. A man who knew God and his relationship with his own son, Jesus, could never forget his own son, Joshua. Actions speak louder than any amount of words and, Javis/James has failed that boy in every way imaginable and shall continue to do so. How long after this season of giving will he once again walk away to leach off others? My heart tells me I want him to feel what I feel, I fear he never will. But, life has a way or balancing things and, Joshua, that amazing little lad, has a loving mother and father in Daisy & Sean. If Javis is ever ready and feels he has earned the right, he could take his place, right now, stay clear, the boy doesn’t need or deserve you.

Grr … secrets, especially at this time! (unrelated)

Tomorrow, Christmas day, utterly awesome … if I got no gifts at all I am satisfied that the wealth of love I have received compensates me many times over.

To anyone feeling alone at this time of year, I am deeply sorry. Again, a lesson from a film … ‘no man is ever a failure who has friends’ … shame on you if you don’t know that quote!

And finally .. ‘God bless us, Everyone’

Christmas

A very merry Christmas wish to everyone.

I would like it known, because it is not always obvious, that I do understand and accept the ‘Christ’ part of the day. I have no respect for most organised religions, they are out for power and glory of themselves, little to do with Christianity.

The true meaning of Christianity is a friendship with God and Jesus and, because of that, an understanding of the right way to be to all those around us but … we don’t just need religion to understand about that, other things can lead us in the right direction too. Having just watched ‘A Christmas Carol’ I can tell you that Dickens did a lot to help us find the true meaning of the bible, the essence and what is important about the bible. That we make mankind our business, that we love people and trust people and always try to see good in others and God is an important part of ‘good’.

I try to live my life according to my understanding of the teachings of Christianity. I don’t always manage it but, because of it I allow myself to try, over and over again if need be, to help others who need it. It is a shame that it sometimes takes organised religion to make them see but then, I don’t know, is that it? I am probably conceited but, I really feel if others cannot see the good in me, the ‘God’ in me and my genuine love, then, quite possibly they are not really seeing it anywhere else either. Can a person mistrust my motives but then believe others simply because they have a place of worship to their name?

When I die, and I have to at some point. I would love more than anything else to be remembered for the man who saw the good in others and gave them the chance to see the good in themselves.

I am glad if I managed to help Alex and Robin. I am thankful too that guys whose names I don’t feel it is right to mention here are alive today because of my efforts. I hope many may find their lives better for knowing me because, if that is true, life is surely worth living. James, my failure. I tried everything, all that I knew and it wasn’t enough. I cannot believe he knows God any better now than he did before. He brings about failure in everyone who knows him because, he has not found God. A man who knew God and his relationship with his own son, Jesus, could never forget his own son, Joshua. Actions speak louder than any amount of words and, Javis/James has failed that boy in every way imaginable and shall continue to do so. How long after this season of giving will he once again walk away to leach off others? My heart tells me I want him to feel what I feel, I fear he never will. But, life has a way or balancing things and, Joshua, that amazing little lad, has a loving mother and father in Daisy & Sean. If Javis is ever ready and feels he has earned the right, he could take his place, right now, stay clear, the boy doesn’t need or deserve you.

Grr … secrets, especially at this time! (unrelated)

Tomorrow, Christmas day, utterly awesome … if I got no gifts at all I am satisfied that the wealth of love I have received compensates me many times over.

To anyone feeling alone at this time of year, I am deeply sorry. Again, a lesson from a film … ‘no man is ever a failure who has friends’ … shame on you if you don’t know that quote!

And finally .. ‘God bless us, Everyone’

So, what happened in 2010?

 

Apologies for the previous entry formatting, it sort of went bad!

DSCF1682

Well, the year started as it looks like finishing, cold and white! Josh was, by now, 3 months old nearly, Imogen was barely a week old. We had all spent the Christmas period as a family with the exception of Javis who was in Kent. We had not seen him at all over the period and he didn’t get anything for Josh for Christmas.

DSCF1775

Jermaine was visiting regularly, as he still does and quite often the family would sit around playing games. Looking quickly at this picture from early January, not a lot has changed!

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Josh had his first ‘sink wash’ on 19th January probably because Zoey was stuck in the bathroom!

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Josh & Imogen together at the end of January

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A proud Daddy playing with his little boy. No one ever forgets that Javis is the biological dad but, it takes more than that to step up to the mark and be a proper Dad as Sean has done.

IMG_0516

Anne has been an excellent mum for Imogen. Obviously, as all of us do when we have our first there were uncertainties but, that’s normal!

IMG_2139

By March we were trying to integrate Javis back in with the family and we started to become better acquainted to Alex.

Bringing Javis back in was really difficult. A lot of bad things had been said and done but we all felt it was worth the effort because Josh deserves to know Javis if at all possible. That and I never want to have to say to Josh that I didn’t do everything I could to get him a good relationship with his biological dad.

IMG_1724

Daisy too has been a great mum especially as she is still so young. At the time she was really struggling with her school work, trying to juggle too much. I am sure this wasn’t helped by the pressure of having Javis coming and going either. It is not easy as parents to have things settle into a routine and then have someone rock the boat. Sean & Daisy had the parenting thing sorted, got used to Javis not playing any part and then, suddenly, he’s on the scene again.

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Javis was seeing Josh on a regular basis. The bond between him and Josh seemed to be happening back in March and ‘I’ though we’d finally turned a corner, things would start to improve.

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Quite often I’d meet up with Javis somewhere, on this occasion, in BHS in town. I personally enjoyed those days as they seemed so positive.

IMG_21872

I put this picture together in March, it was so funny I just couldn’t resist!

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By April we were going out as one big family. Still a little strained but, starting to laugh together.

IMG_3087

It was good to make new friends. This is when we met Tandy properly and got to know Alex a little more. The weather was fairly amazing for April too!

IMG_3587

We had some nice long walks into town with the good weather carrying on

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April 2010 – We went to Milton Keynes for Sean’s birthday, it was what he chose to do and he wanted a proper burger from a proper burger bar!

IMG_4385

We had a birthday party for Sean the next day and it was good not only for Sean but for all of us as we got to know other people all the more. It was good too to have Matt & Anne along to make the family complete. I am not finding many pictures of Matt along the way

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Found one! Daisy is wearing Javis’s horrible hat. I lose count of how many times I repaired that thing!

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21st April 2010 – Significant because this is the day that James Davies decided he wanted to have the same surname as his son and become Javis Williams

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Another amazing day with Javis & Josh. At the time I thought it was going so well. I am not going to allow hindsight to spoil the happy memories.

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The boys hit Becketts Park … never let it be said that Javis and Sean never got along and shared the job of dad! I have too many pictures like this which prove they did.

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A lovely day spent with the family over at Pete & Emily’s who we have got very close to and consider family now.

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We started to be good friends with Tyler in May and he’d come over loads. That all stopped of course. On this occasion we were having a mad Xbox 360 Forza3 session

IMG_6790

By the third week of May things were getting better. Javis had moved in with us again by now and we were starting to get along with his family better. First we did a surprise visit to Kent to force the situation whereby they met Josh and then, later in the month we had a visit from older sister, Anastasia. Javis had ‘issues’ though so the day was a little spoiled.

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In June we had the Davies clan come up and see us and all had, I think, a very nice day indeed.

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At the end of June, Sean & Daisy got married and a very special and proud day it was for me too. Wonderful to see so many friends in one place at the same time. Sadly, Jermaine had an accident which really upset the day and some got way too drunk which didn’t help either but, I am sure Daisy and Sean loved it all the same.

2010-06-12 -

The previous week we had a boys weekend away in Norfolk. I could have been wrong but I got the impression that Javis was going out of his way to aggravate some sort of situation with Sean. Certainly those few days were strained at times and the journey home was awful

IMG_1059

There was an improvement come July. Javis was also, by this time, working with Zoey as her ‘PA’ and I was an ‘employer’! There was still fun to be had but it was obvious that the tension was growing. Javis kept saying as how he had issues but wouldn’t say what. At first it seemed to be with girls, mainly Charlie but, by now he was already barely spending time with Josh despite living here.

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A different day and still having fun in the paddling pool!

 

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Pete & Emily got married in July and I hadn’t realised that I was the official photographer until quite a bit into the day. It was just so lucky I brought the camera!

It was a good day, the sort of old fashioned wedding I’d not been to in years.

IMG_1561

Who could forget this dire hotel in Folkestone toward the end of July?

We’d gone there to spend the day, overnight and the following day so that Javis could have Josh with him overnight at his mums where he was staying for the week.

It was the following day I detected something wasn’t right and that Javis had changed.

IMAG0089

This was the day after we finally lost Javis. We’d all spent loads of time and effort getting his new flat ready for him but, despite that he’d just up and left. The whole episode was full of lies on his part, in truth, he just couldn’t handle responsibility and went for the easy life in Kent. At the time of writing this he has made no attempt at all to see Josh, has not so much as sent a card for his birthday or Christmas yet still tells people how much he loves him … actions speak volumes!

IMG_1710

A few days later and we were in Skegness with Pete & Emily and most of the family. Alex had taken over as Zoey’s PA when Javis left and also had moved in.

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Connor has his birthday in September and I became his Godfather.

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We are still spending days at Beckitts well into September!

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Josh had a wonderful birthday in Kent with Steve & Rosie.

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Josh had his first driving lesson in October!

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I nearly forgot this at Billing Aquadrome in September!

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November and Immy & Josh love playing together!

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A family portrait in November!

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The last of the events of 2010 was our holiday to Disneyland Paris in December … it was cold!

This is meant to be a snap shot of the year using some photos I have. It’s not a comprehensive summary of the year, it can’t be, too much happened for that and a lot had no pictures with them. Yes, a lot focuses on Javis, that’s because, I felt a lot of this year did exactly that one way or another. He became a significant member of the family and I finally had to accept defeat in my attempt to help him in August. Everyone warned me I was wasting my time but I was determined that somewhere inside him was an amazing dad waiting to get out. I failed but, not so much, I think, as Javis did.

Looking forward to Christmas next weekend and our party on New years Eve!

So, what happened in 2010?

 

Apologies for the previous entry formatting, it sort of went bad!

DSCF1682

Well, the year started as it looks like finishing, cold and white! Josh was, by now, 3 months old nearly, Imogen was barely a week old. We had all spent the Christmas period as a family with the exception of Javis who was in Kent. We had not seen him at all over the period and he didn’t get anything for Josh for Christmas.

DSCF1775

Jermaine was visiting regularly, as he still does and quite often the family would sit around playing games. Looking quickly at this picture from early January, not a lot has changed!

DSCF1842

Josh had his first ‘sink wash’ on 19th January probably because Zoey was stuck in the bathroom!

20457_270891586676_637046676_3983825_455994_n

Josh & Imogen together at the end of January

DSCF1946

A proud Daddy playing with his little boy. No one ever forgets that Javis is the biological dad but, it takes more than that to step up to the mark and be a proper Dad as Sean has done.

IMG_0516

Anne has been an excellent mum for Imogen. Obviously, as all of us do when we have our first there were uncertainties but, that’s normal!

IMG_2139

By March we were trying to integrate Javis back in with the family and we started to become better acquainted to Alex.

Bringing Javis back in was really difficult. A lot of bad things had been said and done but we all felt it was worth the effort because Josh deserves to know Javis if at all possible. That and I never want to have to say to Josh that I didn’t do everything I could to get him a good relationship with his biological dad.

IMG_1724

Daisy too has been a great mum especially as she is still so young. At the time she was really struggling with her school work, trying to juggle too much. I am sure this wasn’t helped by the pressure of having Javis coming and going either. It is not easy as parents to have things settle into a routine and then have someone rock the boat. Sean & Daisy had the parenting thing sorted, got used to Javis not playing any part and then, suddenly, he’s on the scene again.

IMG_1760

Javis was seeing Josh on a regular basis. The bond between him and Josh seemed to be happening back in March and ‘I’ though we’d finally turned a corner, things would start to improve.

IMG_1825

Quite often I’d meet up with Javis somewhere, on this occasion, in BHS in town. I personally enjoyed those days as they seemed so positive.

IMG_21872

I put this picture together in March, it was so funny I just couldn’t resist!

IMG_2505

By April we were going out as one big family. Still a little strained but, starting to laugh together.

IMG_3087

It was good to make new friends. This is when we met Tandy properly and got to know Alex a little more. The weather was fairly amazing for April too!

IMG_3587

We had some nice long walks into town with the good weather carrying on

IMG_3695

April 2010 – We went to Milton Keynes for Sean’s birthday, it was what he chose to do and he wanted a proper burger from a proper burger bar!

IMG_4385

We had a birthday party for Sean the next day and it was good not only for Sean but for all of us as we got to know other people all the more. It was good too to have Matt & Anne along to make the family complete. I am not finding many pictures of Matt along the way

IMG_4397

Found one! Daisy is wearing Javis’s horrible hat. I lose count of how many times I repaired that thing!

IMG_4463

21st April 2010 – Significant because this is the day that James Davies decided he wanted to have the same surname as his son and become Javis Williams

IMG_4510

Another amazing day with Javis & Josh. At the time I thought it was going so well. I am not going to allow hindsight to spoil the happy memories.

IMG_4675

The boys hit Becketts Park … never let it be said that Javis and Sean never got along and shared the job of dad! I have too many pictures like this which prove they did.

IMG_5750

A lovely day spent with the family over at Pete & Emily’s who we have got very close to and consider family now.

IMG_6842

We started to be good friends with Tyler in May and he’d come over loads. That all stopped of course. On this occasion we were having a mad Xbox 360 Forza3 session

IMG_6790

By the third week of May things were getting better. Javis had moved in with us again by now and we were starting to get along with his family better. First we did a surprise visit to Kent to force the situation whereby they met Josh and then, later in the month we had a visit from older sister, Anastasia. Javis had ‘issues’ though so the day was a little spoiled.

IMG_7795

IMG_8334

In June we had the Davies clan come up and see us and all had, I think, a very nice day indeed.

IMG_6622

At the end of June, Sean & Daisy got married and a very special and proud day it was for me too. Wonderful to see so many friends in one place at the same time. Sadly, Jermaine had an accident which really upset the day and some got way too drunk which didn’t help either but, I am sure Daisy and Sean loved it all the same.

2010-06-12 -

The previous week we had a boys weekend away in Norfolk. I could have been wrong but I got the impression that Javis was going out of his way to aggravate some sort of situation with Sean. Certainly those few days were strained at times and the journey home was awful

IMG_1059

There was an improvement come July. Javis was also, by this time, working with Zoey as her ‘PA’ and I was an ‘employer’! There was still fun to be had but it was obvious that the tension was growing. Javis kept saying as how he had issues but wouldn’t say what. At first it seemed to be with girls, mainly Charlie but, by now he was already barely spending time with Josh despite living here.

IMG_1084

A different day and still having fun in the paddling pool!

 

IMG_1231

Pete & Emily got married in July and I hadn’t realised that I was the official photographer until quite a bit into the day. It was just so lucky I brought the camera!

It was a good day, the sort of old fashioned wedding I’d not been to in years.

IMG_1561

Who could forget this dire hotel in Folkestone toward the end of July?

We’d gone there to spend the day, overnight and the following day so that Javis could have Josh with him overnight at his mums where he was staying for the week.

It was the following day I detected something wasn’t right and that Javis had changed.

IMAG0089

This was the day after we finally lost Javis. We’d all spent loads of time and effort getting his new flat ready for him but, despite that he’d just up and left. The whole episode was full of lies on his part, in truth, he just couldn’t handle responsibility and went for the easy life in Kent. At the time of writing this he has made no attempt at all to see Josh, has not so much as sent a card for his birthday or Christmas yet still tells people how much he loves him … actions speak volumes!

IMG_1710

A few days later and we were in Skegness with Pete & Emily and most of the family. Alex had taken over as Zoey’s PA when Javis left and also had moved in.

IMG_2174

Connor has his birthday in September and I became his Godfather.

IMAG0120

We are still spending days at Beckitts well into September!

IMAG0127

Josh had a wonderful birthday in Kent with Steve & Rosie.

IMAG0140

Josh had his first driving lesson in October!

IMG_2103

I nearly forgot this at Billing Aquadrome in September!

IMG_3166

November and Immy & Josh love playing together!

IMG_3011 final2

A family portrait in November!

IMG_3320

The last of the events of 2010 was our holiday to Disneyland Paris in December … it was cold!

This is meant to be a snap shot of the year using some photos I have. It’s not a comprehensive summary of the year, it can’t be, too much happened for that and a lot had no pictures with them. Yes, a lot focuses on Javis, that’s because, I felt a lot of this year did exactly that one way or another. He became a significant member of the family and I finally had to accept defeat in my attempt to help him in August. Everyone warned me I was wasting my time but I was determined that somewhere inside him was an amazing dad waiting to get out. I failed but, not so much, I think, as Javis did.

Looking forward to Christmas next weekend and our party on New years Eve!