The Last Waltz

The Song – The Last Waltz

I was in the shower earlier. A few months ago I decided to create a music compilation. There were a few simple rules with the intention of coming up with songs which might be significant to me throughout my life.

Number one on the list was strictly that, the song which was number one each year of my life.

Number two was any song which throughout the year, remained at number one for four weeks or more.

The logic there is, the chances of my having heard it at a significant time in my life were greatly increased.

Anyway, back to my shower.

This song came on, I’ve heard it so many times and yet I suddenly had a flashback to some time in the 1970’s where I can clearly see Mum & Dad dancing to this. Mum had her posh wig on, a long dress, dad in a suit. That was unusual as I don’t recall any event I was with them when they dressed like that. They looked so happy, so much in love and my feeling this evening was an emotional bombshell. I clearly felt as I felt right then at that time. So happy, so proud, so content.

I often wonder if things like these are false memories, a combination of sounds and pictures jumbled up. As I said, it could be simply because I cannot recall any event when mum wore a long frock other than one of my dads work events and I was never invited to those.

Anyway, I am sure if the memory is muddled that somewhere, sometime, it did happen and that the feelings are real.

Stressing

This is what I need just now as I am not keeping up with ‘things’.

Days are starting and ending with a struggle. The amount of pain I am in means I rarely go a night without having to get up for a bit and sometimes take meds.

I can’t look forward to anything because I no longer hold the purse strings.

I need a holiday, I want to look forward to my 60th but, at the going rate of things, the first won’t happen or, it’ll be so ‘not for my needs’ and the second I am starting to think should be very low key.

The mobility scooter I bought turned out to be an utter pile of trash. I will be lucky to recover £50 selling it for parts. It is not worth my while chucking more money at it because it just has too much wrong. Final nail in it’s coffin was the seat falling off on Monday! Oh well, only wasted £350 on it, it’s only money.

No flight for the Philippine trip can be booked until Dennis gets his UK passport (April/May estimated). By then there will be very few flights left and it’s already stretching the budget to a point where we’re either in crap hotels or sleeping on floors and, no more can I sleep on floors and walk the next day. So, unless prices drop drastically or, Dennis lowers his expectations, that won’t be happening at all. It’ll just be three weeks at home.

I have been driving around in a Mercedes for the last week and, lovely as it was, I am glad to get my car back from the repair shop.

@motability are so useless with their insurance policy that the claim took the best part of a year. They have this idea that it’s OK to put all those with drivable cars behind those who don’t as though somehow, our insurance isn’t also as valid!

They argued that the parts were just not available because of a world wide shortage. As I had been arguing for months, they were talking bollocks! Electronic components were in short supply, not body panels (what I needed). They eventually agreed for me to choose my own garage and it was fixed within the month. Just before I took mine in, their chosen garage offered me a date in June!

The garage forgot to ask for the £100 excess payment so I told #motability that I will only consider paying that when they fully deal with my official complaint they’ve never looked at and when they do, they can award me £100 compensation!

Walking … it’s really difficult at the moment. Pain relief lasts no more than 2 hours and then I am a lot of discomfort, even standing is really uncomfortable. I need a mobility scooter in the car but, it is shite so, I am back to my walking stick which doesn’t even come close to being enough. I might have to buy a ramp and take my big scooter with me. Even sitting is so incredibly ‘ouch’.

It is Valentines Day today, well, maybe after I go bed and get up again.

I’m not feeling all loving just now. Just shattered and really don’t want to cook tomorrow

Do we think someone else might cook?

I think I should try and sleep. I took some pain relief just over an hour ago, it’s stopped working already.

Good night