‘Gay’ Pride’

Yes it grabs the attention, makes people look but … one question I get asked too often is “which of you is the woman?”

I do not want my sexuality confused as a gender issue.


Thanks to my lovely husband in the foreground.

My own perspective on gay pride and, indeed the so called ‘community’.

Firstly, understand the history of pride. It started when gay people finally took a stand against the homophobia they were subjected to. For many years gay people were unprotected, no laws gave them equal rights not even the laws of the lands they lived in as citizens from birth. They were seen as criminals and generally people with severe mental health issues and deviants.

With slow progress in many countries we got some kind of equality or, at least legal protecting from prejudice to the point many who don’t recall when it wasn’t there really believe we’ve already got there and Pride has become nothing more than an in your face celebration of a job well done!

We are no where near that point yet and to make matters worse, we are diluting the cause and allowing it to be taken over by issues which are not our issues.

Over recent years our fight for equality for those with differing sexuality has had added to it, the fight for gender identity. What real connection do we as gay, lesbian and bisexual men and women do we have with the multitude of current gender identities?

Don’t get me wrong, I support that battle separately just not inclusively. If we follow any natural progression some trans might take we get this scenario and this is merely an example:

Mike is trans. Right now Mike is gay he is part of the LGB community. However, Mike is transitioning to Michelle. ‘She’ is living as a woman who is attracted to men. When she fully transitions she will be and wants to be a woman. At this point, Michelle becomes a straight woman, no longer a part of the LGB community. Of course, it’s way more complex but, we have to call a spade a spade.

Gender identity should have remained an issue in of itself. They will have their supporters and those in the LGB community will have theirs. Sometimes they may be the same people.

Does it help that leading many Pride events (which used to be pre woke, called ‘gay pride’) we have drag queens? I’ll wager that the majority of gay men have no desire at all the wear female clothes and yet, as far as society sees us, we come across as cross dressing weirdos. Not as we are, just the men and women you work with, who you see every day or pass by in the street. Again, don’t misunderstand me, no issue with drag queens, some are great but, would be put the Royal State Coach at the head of an environmentally friendly car parade? It’s overkill and suggests totally the wrong thing.

Beautiful and grand but, not taking us into the future

If you’re selling EV’s you don’t use the State Coach to promote them!

In short, Pride has been taken over by those with heavy egos who don’t even realise this is still a struggle.

How many gay men would feel comfortable walking through the Grosvenor Centre holding hands with their husbands? I see the ladies doing it but, never us men. Is that a rational avoidance or is it justified considering recent attacks on gay men in the town?

Gay men ‘afraid to hold hands in public’, survey finds

We’ve police forces up and down the country recognised for being institutionally homophobic. That on top of how generally ineffective the police are anyway and it matters not what laws are passed if the police and CPS do not enforce those laws.

We still do not have marriage equality, under law religions cannot perform same sex marriages. That was as much a government decision as it was the religions involved.

In many countries around the world our rights range from tolerance to a criminal offence punishable by death. Our government and monarchy still counts those countries amongst our ‘friends’.

I would like us to get back to being the LGB community fighting our own causes.

Why is the UK great?

You see, right there I have readers shaking their heads and asking, are you mad?

British people are about as unpatriotic as any nation can be likely caused by a succession of government which rather than pull us together, drove us apart to create division and detract for their own failings.

Is the UK really so terrible?

In my opinion, no, it’s not. As a country we have lost out way rather a lot, society has some very real issues. However, the bedrock of the country, the land and the climate, they are much as we would expect for these lands.

What do I hear those around the world say of the UK?

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  • It’s so quaint, all those cute little villages – Sure, we have a lot of cute old villages dating back centuries but, that is not who we are, that’s just a tourist ideal
  • Isn’t it always raining in the UK? – Actually, just about every year we ban the use of hosepipes in a lot of counties because we are in a drought situation, we simply have not had enough rain. Sure, we do get rain. Unlike some other countries, there is no rainy season, it can happen any time of year. It used to be mainly April we would have showers but, global warming lost that for us.
  • It’s so cold there – Way up north in Scotland and especially on the hills, sure, it can get really cold. Realistically, if you as an interest person not liking the cold will avoid those areas and look down south. Right now we are around 28°C, tomorrow I see will be 30°C and, that’s quite warm for anywhere! It’s very humid though.
  • At least I don’t need sun block as it’s either going to rain or be too foggy! – Look, rain I already covered but on it, don’t let it fool you. Even through those showers the UV index can be really high especially in June/July. As for fog, there is a generation of Brits won’t have seen it ever! It was a construct of heavy industry with factories and homes using copious amounts of filthy coal and other messy stuff which hung in the atmosphere. We have cleaned up considerably in the last few decades. I am 60 and whilst it was regular when I was a kid it is more a morning mist now and rather than being pollution it’s just nature evaporating the lying water.
  • Your food is so bland, you don’t eat anything exciting or tasty. – This is an absolute myth based on a misunderstanding. You see, our land is very multicultural, we are a blend of hundreds of different nations and, over the years, our recipes have been shared and just about anything goes. We have comfort food which some might consider bland, only because it’s generally badly cooked. Fish & Chips needs to have fresh fish, the fresher the better. Many restaurants cook fish from the freezer and who is to say how old it is? Of course it’s going to have no flavour. We stop using those places mostly. The Sunday Roast? Yes, unavoidably that can be bland, no two ways about it. Sauces have to be added to make it OK. Shepherds and cottage pie, not the same thing but similar. That’s down to recipe and the quality of ingredients. Cooked fresh with good ingredients there is no reason for it to be bland at all. The Great British Breakfast (fry up) … a little bit of a myth that one as it implies there is only one. There are many variations on it to the point that much of it and occasionally, all of it is not fried at all! (I prefer it that way). But, back to the multicultural nature of the UK … Curry is one of our most popular take out meals (from India), Kebabs often follow from a night out (Greece). Indeed, we have restaurants with food from all over the world. Just lately I am seeing more Filipino venues showing up as well.
  • Beaches, what’s the point, you don’t have any good beaches? – There is a related truth in that but, it’s complicated! The sea even on the hottest days, never gets higher than 20°C, the in the cooler months it’s around 6°C and although some hardy people do swim in it, on the whole we don’t do much more than paddle. We do, however, have some amazing beaches, some of the best and great surfing beaches too. Sadly, the government we have had the past 13 years have allowed our seas to get contaminated with filth. Rich corporate water companies continue to pump raw sewage into our waterways making many of them unsuitable or unsafe to use.
  • Isn’t everything just so expensive there? – Hands up, the answer is yes. Sadly any excuse and hospitality gets greedy. A little inflation and they raise prices to exceed it and when inflation lessens, those prices remain high. Right now we are suffering food inflation way over 16%. A standard McDonalds is close on £9 now almost double what it was a year ago and, for example, nearly three times the cost in the Philippines.
  • So, when it’s not summer then it’s just winter right? Oh no! – Spring and Autumn are two of the nicest times to be here. The winter is absent of colour, the leaves are off the trees, flowers do not grow, it’s just drab. Then spring happens and it comes to life! Birds are busy mating, flowers bloom, trees blossom, it’s a sight to see, honestly. Autumn follows summer and nature starts to shut down ready for winter. The colours on the trees are incredible, all shades of yellow, orange, red, it’s magical. The past few decades winter has been mild, it’s rare to get snow except on high ground. For several mornings there will be ice on cars and sure, it can get a little chilly even in the warmer parts getting down to -9°C on occasion but, mostly it’s just somewhere between 0° – 10°C. If wearing the right clothes it’s not really a problem. In summer, well as I said above, it can be really hot but, at the same time, it can change! I have known it in the low 20’s in May and then a week later, we do have snow, it can happen, it’s rare.
  • Your homes are all really old right, you have outside toilet’s and bath in front of the fire? – Sure, in many old movies that’s totally correct but I have always lived in a house with an inside toilet and a bath which has hot and cold water. Sure, as a kid in winter we had ice on the inside of the windows it was so cold but, that was 50+ years ago. Most, the vast majority have centrally heated homes and at least one full bathroom or shower. So, even our older places will be mostly fully upgraded by now.
  • Just how old are your places? – The newest are still being built, the oldest go back centuries. It is not unusual to live in an 18th century property and certainly 19th century. Let’s make no mistake, our history goes back 1000’s of years. A church in my town has parts of it dating back to the10th century.

Let’s look at some pictures of the UK

As you can see, if the tech works. the country can look so different depending on location and time of year. It is rarely plain. If you know where to look there is so much to see, it’s certainly worth seeking out the guide books and exploring outside of the big cities.

Excuses

The Range in Northampton

Consistently this store has made excuses for misleading price labels and maintenance issues.

Were it true that there was a shortage of available staff in the market, why are similar stores nearby having all the same issues?

It just seems to me that they are maximising profit over customer experience.

I used to really love the store, I still do feel the concept is excellent but, they just fall short on execution.

Is it a general lack of company investment, poor management or something else? I don’t know and, as a customer, I don’t much care either. All I want from a store is good products clearly and accurately labelled and enough staff to precent long queues.

It was telling that I went in there this morning, a Saturday morning around 10am and there was no one on the tills, just one person on customer services who I have to presume serves customers buying as well, on a Saturday! No wonder the store wasn’t busy. Now, they might argue that the staffing levels were right for the amount of customers. But, what if customers are staying away because their service isn’t very good?

One guy working there was complaining to a colleague that he was being told to do something and it wasn’t his job. I don’t want to hear that. As is usual, the item I was interest in was wrongly priced. But, I couldn’t ask those staff members as they were having their own private bitch fest about their employer. I spoke to Customer Services on the way out to be fed the standard line (the excuse) they’ve used for months, lack of staff.

Am Impressed

2015-05-18 09.09.19

How lovely to see an employer prepared to quite literally fly the flag

Nationwide Support

I thought it might just be a local thing but true to their name, they are making this ‘Nationwide’ and seem to have realised that by actively including the LGB community it will change their image for the better.

I will be honest, it was strange for me to turn up at their HQ in Northampton earlier and see the flag flying there alongside the National flag and their Corporate flag but how forward thinking are they? Very in my opinion.

There are some 10% of the population who are LGB, that’s a lot of people. You know, there are still a huge amount of companies who don’t have ‘Civil Partner’ as part of their marital status list. Of those who do they still tend to class such relationships as less than traditional familiar relationships.

Screenshot 2015-05-18 11.09.54

It isn’t a one off event either, across the country Nationwide are showing support for the LGB community.

It’s good to see, should be supported too in my opinion. It’s not a one way street. When a company takes a stand like this we as members of this LGB community need to support them either with our business or with publicity.