Three surnames, one person
Not my first solar eclipse, the best one was in 1999, I think it was that year, in the summer so it was warm. The effect that year when the heat went was very dramatic. This year it did still get very cold and quiet. Birds get confused and fly back to their nests. 
Yes, my good friend Randy is 52 years old. He’d tell you he’s ancient but, anyone who knows me and remembers that I’ll be 52 in June, will know, he’d never get away with that! I do not consider and will never consider 52 to be old! It’s the sort of age when some of us are still thinking we might be too young to commit to a whole new life direction, that’d be for after retirement and then, a great many people don’t consider gardening their only option when there is a whole world of experiences out there.
I know that we can get to yet another birthday, especially when we’re alone and wonder, is this it? Is this how the rest of my life is going? Well, it could be but then, quite possibly we’ve got another 40 years or so which means we’d have been equally justified asking the same dumb question when we were 10!
Life just switches and changes all over the place, not much easier to predict than the weather. Our attitude to life is what steers us, actually having some ambition will drive us to achieve our objectives and dreams.
So, my very good friend Randy … you’re not old, just 52 whatever significance that has which, compared to 51, isn’t a lot really. Age is just a number, there was a time when we didn’t have months and years like we do now, quite a lot of that sort of thing is very recent in historical terms so, before we knew how old we were, did we care?
Thinking and believing this one sure fact will stop us thinking we will always feel this way. We all remember horrible moments before and now they’re history, this will be too.
Life is like a beautiful flower, it will only bloom when things have got wet and dirty and it’s been through some shit! But, at the end, we have that flower. We learn and flourish by accepting some shit in our lives, it’s our fertilizer, we do need it.
Sure, it feels like it, no one could possibly have ever felt this bad. But, there are billions of people alive now and there were many more before this lot were born. There would be thousands or millions of people who knew exactly how we feel now, they may live in your street, you may know them. Disease, death, moving home, divorce, other people know about this, share with them how you feel, ask them how they feel. You are not on our own and, see (1)
When we feel low we transfer that onto other people. We don’t trust them, we feel they don’t care, we feel that no one understands us. We become so pessimistic we can’t think anything positive, we actively shut out positive thought because negativity becomes our security blanket. We know if we expect only bad things that we can’t be damaged more with disappointment.
As hard as it is, try to think that perhaps others actually might be looking out for you. They may screw up, they might get their timing wrong but each person you come into contact with, thank them for their time, let them know you appreciate it and mean it.
Sadly, some people cannot be changed, can’t be healed, they are too broken, learn to say ‘no’ occasionally to save your strength for the right people, you may avoid getting in this mess in the first place
Looking at things differently can work wonders for how you feel. Maybe think back to a time when things were bad but think, where would you honestly be had you been able to change it?
There is some good buried in each experience we have, look hard for it. Stuck on the motorway? if you have bluetooth, make that call to someone you’ve been putting off for ages. Perhaps listen to that album you keep meaning to find time to do. How about ask yourself, how does weather work? How can that tree be so amazing? How lucky am I to actually see the area around me probably for the first time. Smile at the person next to you just because you can.
Grab those negative thoughts you are having and imagine throwing them into a box, I mean, make them an object, tell yourself those thoughts are now that size and they are going into that box. Each time a thought starts appearing, wrap that box tighter until you can eventually dump it or fire it off into space, just for those few moments, be in control of your negativity.
Smile, it won’t do you any harm, it might do you some good
In my life I can pick a positive outcome to each of my disasters in life. Should someone ask me if there is anything I would change if I could I will always answer a firm ‘no’ because I wouldn’t be who I am now without what happened before. Never forget that, if you’ve something special in your life it is there because of the fertilizer of life.
5. Slow down and breathe.
I want you to copy this, it’s really not difficult
Get comfortable, as comfy as you can manage even if it means in the kitchen leaning against the side.
Close yours eyes
Take a quick really deep breath in and
HOLD IT for a slow count of three
As slowly as you can manage, let out that breath
Let’s repeat that
Keep your eyes closed (yes, you will have opened them to read this)
Take a quick really deep breath in and
HOLD IT for a slow count of three
As slowly as you can manage, let out that breath
This time, as that breath leaves tell yourself, “I am feeling relaxed”
Let’s do it again
Close yours eyes
Take a quick really deep breath in and
HOLD IT for a slow count of three
As slowly as you can manage, let out that breath
As you breath out this time, try to feel for your toes and relax them, feel your legs relaxing all the way up your body
Do it again
Close yours eyes
Take a quick really deep breath in and
HOLD IT for a slow count of three
As slowly as you can manage, let out that breath
Keep concentrating on your body, relax each muscle you can feel with your mind
This keeps you in touch with your breathing, it actually slows your heart rate, it frees your mind to think. Grab this moment, think of the most relaxing or most fun times in your life, allow your mind to dream your dreams. Any negative thoughts, push them away, they don’t matter now, they can’t hurt you, not now, not in this place
This is YOUR bubble, you are safe here. Do this over and over as long as you can get away with.
6. Get rid of your minds clutter
We all have jobs we know are there but we didn’t find the time for yet, find the time!
We’ve all heard of the straw which breaks the camels back. Our clutter is our straw. Not paying the bills, putting off the housework, not having that chat with someone because it’s a bit awkward, not tidying the desk … All little things we know are there but we convince ourselves they can wait. We can only convince our conscious mind, our subconscious still works with it each minute of every day and we’re just adding to it, loads of little tasks stored in our brains waiting to be done and, that part of the brain seems to only be able to manage so much before it shuts us down.
Try it, each day do a task you have out off doing and see how you feel in 7 days, I promise you will feel better, think more clearly, smile more.
“There are things we know we know about. There are things we know we don’t know. And there are things that are unknown unknowns. We don’t know that we don’t know”
Many find it a mouthful and confusing but, to me, it’s important that we can clearly define the difference between those things and always seek out what we don’t yet know we don’t know. Always be on the lookout for interesting facts which help us build up a picture of reality.