Life just gets better and better doesn’t it?

After my feelings of earlier, I couldn’t face the kids and went for a drive. I came back and nothing had changed. I mean, I went out without saying anything to anyone and yet, I come back an hour later and nothing has changed, all was as I left it.

They eventually went to bed except for Matt and he popped his head round a little while ago to say he didn’t feel 100%, can I work out what it is for him! I know kids are kids and all that but I am sure I knew when my mum was depressed or upset, I just knew, my lot don’t appear to give a fuck.

I thought I would check email before I went to bed. I just watched a movie which was OK and made me think about other stuff so I was ready to sleep. On checking email there was only one there, from Nick. We had agreed before he left that he should continue to pay off the loan we got together in 2003 when we moved here. A lot of that was for the car (which he got two years use out of, some of it, quite a chunk went on stuff around the house and toward a holiday which he enjoyed.

Well, I told him I had repaid the Motability side of the car loan and he assumed that this also meant the bank was paid off, in fact, I had to refinance the loan for an extra year to cover the money I needed to buy another car, all I could do to ensure I got an extra £80 a week. Well, he says that now the loan is gone, he doesn’t need to be paying any contribution toward it, that contribution being a large percentage of it, about two thirds. It is true, his name is no longer on the loan agreement, legally he doesn’t owe me a penny, in fact, I have taken two payments from him since consolidating the previous loan so I have now repaid it. What this means is, far from saving myself £80 a week I have only saved £30 which is better than nothing but still only £1500 over the year and not the £4160 I was expecting.

Still, I guess it is better that we make a totally clean break.. Oh, for the record, I would still only have asked Nick to pay up to the original loan date. I honestly now wouldn’t want to have Nick’s money, I really don’t need the aggravation, seems I get that every time I ask for anything these days.

I guess shit comes in fucking great trucks these days.

Plan for tomorrow, work out how to dig myself out of my depression, no running to the States this time.