I think I hate my son

This morning was just hell.

It was Daisy’s turn to sort Jermaine out with medication but he wasn’t having any of it. He tried to punch her in the face but fortunately missed. I took over, tried and failed to give him his insulin which he must have before meals. He started swearing at me.

He then left the kitchen and stood in the hallway. I headed off toward the stairs a short while later, I think I was aiming to find his shoes which may have been upstairs, I forget now. Anyway, I turned my back on Jermaine just for a second and he went for me. He dug his nails in good and proper and punched me in the face; my glasses went flying as they often do. There was quite a bit of blood and I am still sore and shaky several hours later but this is not unusual.

Both Matt and myself got totally angry with him and both of us retaliated which did seem to calm him down. Within 20 minutes he was quite happy to get on his school bus.

I don’t know which is worse, the fact that he is violent or that he doesn’t seem to give a shit. I am sure his level of understanding is such that he can know right from wrong like that but he chooses to do this.

At least things are still happening with meetings, a few are planned for within the month so maybe some progress could be made.

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