Month: May 2005

I wrote this big long load of bollox Sunday night that I was going to post and then my PC hung and I couldn’t be arsed to write any more so you will just have to guess what I did.

Yesterday I had a meeting with Social Services; you may refer to them as the SS cos I probably will from now on.

It seems really clear to me that their objective is to get me to agree that Jermaine should go full time residential but, I don’t see as that is the best thing for him to be doing. They only want that option as they have been unable to provide what would be best care for him by keeping him at home. With the correct level of support there is no reason why he could not stay here a while longer. They also tried to do the dirty in insisting that Jermaine does a series of overnight stays at Eleanor Lodge which would have to be paid for by us and would be lost from our respite entitlement. I put me foot down and refused to allow that to happen. I agreed, I could see why it would be useful for the respite centre but stated that it would not be any good at all for Jermaine so, as it was for the sole benefit of the respite centre and to follow ‘best practise’ that there was no reason why we should have to lose out, the SS should swallow the cost. Today I found out that they had agreed to that.

Went to the Boston Clipper in Northampton last night, Tony picked me up which was really great because it meant I got to have an evening when I totally relaxed for a change and that is exactly what I did. On the whole I enjoyed myself, talking to Pascal was nice, he is really quite fun. One thing kinda pissed me off just because I thought it was a little insensitive and that was when Nick and Ian started ‘getting close’ whilst sitting opposite. I mean, I know we are not together but it felt a little like when someone dies and the surviving partner is off shagging within a few weeks. There is no reason why not but decency says that traditionally they don’t flaunt it. It just felt like I was having my nose rubbed into it especially knowing that me getting off with someone now is virtually impossible. Oh well, live and learn I guess. I know I would have felt awkward doing that to Nick or Simon and it did happen the once and I was not really expecting Nick to be there so it was just really awkward when I was with Simon.

Still, my life is not destroyed by that little business, it was more a niggle than anything else.

Off to see a show with Robin tomorrow night, should be fun!

I wrote this big long load of bollox Sunday night that I was going to post and then my PC hung and I couldn’t be arsed to write any more so you will just have to guess what I did.

Yesterday I had a meeting with Social Services; you may refer to them as the SS cos I probably will from now on.

It seems really clear to me that their objective is to get me to agree that Jermaine should go full time residential but, I don’t see as that is the best thing for him to be doing. They only want that option as they have been unable to provide what would be best care for him by keeping him at home. With the correct level of support there is no reason why he could not stay here a while longer. They also tried to do the dirty in insisting that Jermaine does a series of overnight stays at Eleanor Lodge which would have to be paid for by us and would be lost from our respite entitlement. I put me foot down and refused to allow that to happen. I agreed, I could see why it would be useful for the respite centre but stated that it would not be any good at all for Jermaine so, as it was for the sole benefit of the respite centre and to follow ‘best practise’ that there was no reason why we should have to lose out, the SS should swallow the cost. Today I found out that they had agreed to that.

Went to the Boston Clipper in Northampton last night, Tony picked me up which was really great because it meant I got to have an evening when I totally relaxed for a change and that is exactly what I did. On the whole I enjoyed myself, talking to Pascal was nice, he is really quite fun. One thing kinda pissed me off just because I thought it was a little insensitive and that was when Nick and Ian started ‘getting close’ whilst sitting opposite. I mean, I know we are not together but it felt a little like when someone dies and the surviving partner is off shagging within a few weeks. There is no reason why not but decency says that traditionally they don’t flaunt it. It just felt like I was having my nose rubbed into it especially knowing that me getting off with someone now is virtually impossible. Oh well, live and learn I guess. I know I would have felt awkward doing that to Nick or Simon and it did happen the once and I was not really expecting Nick to be there so it was just really awkward when I was with Simon.

Still, my life is not destroyed by that little business, it was more a niggle than anything else.

Off to see a show with Robin tomorrow night, should be fun!

What a weekend I have had, non stop sex from a stream of guys, all drop dead gorgeous and they couldn’t get enough of me!

Now, wouldn’t it make a change if I typed something like that and there was even an element of truth in it?

I spoke to Tony about this the other day, I just don’t really have a lot of sex drive now, to word it with more accuracy, I don’t have a lot of sexual confidence. After a string of awful encounters with guys that just want to ‘cum and go’ I have all but lost interest.

Popped over to see Robin yesterday and David was there also. Spent quite some time trying to repair a Dell Laptop but the thing was just plain beyond repair and there has to be a point where I give up as much as I hate to.

The more I meet David the more I get to like him, well, he is a very likeable man.

In the late afternoon, early evening I went into Tony’s, he had promised to reinvigorate my sex drive, not something I had much hope for. Of course, where I got there, Tom and Gary were in the lounge chatting on their laptops. I like the pair of them but sometimes I wonder if Tony is happy with having lost control of his house. It is one thing to have company when we are lonely but another when they don’t get the hint and sod off when we have guests. This is something I must be very careful about when I eventually get a lodger.

I read Nick’s blog earlier on today, I think he is missing the point about this holiday and the money he stopped paying me. He seems to think I am bitter because I have resentment for him going on holiday when I can’t (I can as it happens) and spending the money on the holiday rather than something sensible. Well, I don’t really care if he goes on holiday or not, that is his choice. What I was doing is giving him some alternate options that he could either take or not dependant on what he thought was best for him. To my way of thinking, using the extra cash as an additional element of income now available for rent seemed logical if he is as unhappy with the regime at his current lodgings as he appears to be and Thailand (tsunami’s permitting) is still going to be there next year so there is no real hurry for that and next year he gets back all the tax he is losing in this current tax year so a real chance to spend some serious money. As far as the £50 a week goes, well, I have already written about that and why I feel so pissed off about it.

Today I went down town with Matt and bought Zoey some new clothes to make her look good and she really does look a lot better than she has before, quite feminine. I did have to have words with the sales assistant in one shop though that wanted to insist that men were not allowed in the changing area. I mentioned to her that my daughter was mentally handicapped and if she wanted to get the near £200 sale, she best let me to stay with her or else I walk there and then. She sensibly apologised and allowed me to stay.

Jermaine has been reluctant to eat today which has made managing his diabetes difficult and this is probably due to a fit he had earlier on today.

Tomorrow I have to get over my fears and take Matt to the dentist where he shall be having some teeth out, rather him than me but even so, actually walking into a dentist fills me with dread, wish me luck!

What a weekend I have had, non stop sex from a stream of guys, all drop dead gorgeous and they couldn’t get enough of me!

Now, wouldn’t it make a change if I typed something like that and there was even an element of truth in it?

I spoke to Tony about this the other day, I just don’t really have a lot of sex drive now, to word it with more accuracy, I don’t have a lot of sexual confidence. After a string of awful encounters with guys that just want to ‘cum and go’ I have all but lost interest.

Popped over to see Robin yesterday and David was there also. Spent quite some time trying to repair a Dell Laptop but the thing was just plain beyond repair and there has to be a point where I give up as much as I hate to.

The more I meet David the more I get to like him, well, he is a very likeable man.

In the late afternoon, early evening I went into Tony’s, he had promised to reinvigorate my sex drive, not something I had much hope for. Of course, where I got there, Tom and Gary were in the lounge chatting on their laptops. I like the pair of them but sometimes I wonder if Tony is happy with having lost control of his house. It is one thing to have company when we are lonely but another when they don’t get the hint and sod off when we have guests. This is something I must be very careful about when I eventually get a lodger.

I read Nick’s blog earlier on today, I think he is missing the point about this holiday and the money he stopped paying me. He seems to think I am bitter because I have resentment for him going on holiday when I can’t (I can as it happens) and spending the money on the holiday rather than something sensible. Well, I don’t really care if he goes on holiday or not, that is his choice. What I was doing is giving him some alternate options that he could either take or not dependant on what he thought was best for him. To my way of thinking, using the extra cash as an additional element of income now available for rent seemed logical if he is as unhappy with the regime at his current lodgings as he appears to be and Thailand (tsunami’s permitting) is still going to be there next year so there is no real hurry for that and next year he gets back all the tax he is losing in this current tax year so a real chance to spend some serious money. As far as the £50 a week goes, well, I have already written about that and why I feel so pissed off about it.

Today I went down town with Matt and bought Zoey some new clothes to make her look good and she really does look a lot better than she has before, quite feminine. I did have to have words with the sales assistant in one shop though that wanted to insist that men were not allowed in the changing area. I mentioned to her that my daughter was mentally handicapped and if she wanted to get the near £200 sale, she best let me to stay with her or else I walk there and then. She sensibly apologised and allowed me to stay.

Jermaine has been reluctant to eat today which has made managing his diabetes difficult and this is probably due to a fit he had earlier on today.

Tomorrow I have to get over my fears and take Matt to the dentist where he shall be having some teeth out, rather him than me but even so, actually walking into a dentist fills me with dread, wish me luck!