I want to start by saying I had a great weekend, I really did for all sorts of reasons.
It was not just the company I was in, and John is lovely, it was also the company I spoke to and met that made it special.
But, back a little … I found out on Friday what I suspected for a while, it seems I do have arthritis and it is more a case of finding out what type than ‘if’. What I know for a fact it is that my joints have been really quite painful even with the pain killers.
On Saturday I got to ride a horse thanks to John. It was one of the scariest things I have ever done. It may actually be ranking way up there with the scariest thing I have ever done and I can’t even remember what that was!
Why was it scary? Hmm, difficult to answer really. True, Benji was big, s shire cross (picture included) but I had kind of made my mind up that the worst that could happen was me falling off and the worst that could do was kill me so not so terrible (just kidding). No, what was really scaring me was not being in control. It was Martyn that commented to me about my tendency to be a control freak and he did me a real favour because he’s totally right, I am and I hate it. I don’t mean to be, I thick it is my defence mechanism, be in control and no one can hurt me. Well, when it came to control and who had it, Benji won by a short leg or a dog’s bullock or a bee’s kneecap, I don’t really know the right term. There was no way if he decided to do his own thing I was going to be able to stop him. To make matters worse, he had this habit of throwing his head around. Each movement caused me no end of pain in my shoulders, my right hand in particular was very painful within minutes, by the time I got off, it was almost unbearable pain. When we got back to the yard he decided it was feed time and that meant, nose down in a bucket of grub with me leaning backwards unable to reach the reins and then Benji picking a fight with the horse who’s feed it was! I was so relieved to get off that horse it was unreal.
It may seem like I regretted the ride but that isn’t the case, I really am glad I did it. I won’t want to do it again but it was on my list of things to do and it’s done and I know for sure now it is not for me.
One of my friends has issues and was calling John. It’s really very sad because if he could know what us older than him know, he would be really upbeat and looking forward to life but it is so easy when young to not be able to trust what you are told. It is not until he experiences more of life and, more important, more people that he will get to learn that the world is a huge place and there are thousands of guys out there that are just right for us, we just need to find them.
Good to meet Steve again, shame he was feeling rough but hopefully it will clear up quite quickly.
Now, I really must call Robin … Oh, and M, can you text me, let me know you got home OK? Thank you 🙂