Year: 2005

My friend from Dagenham, Paul visited today and I was so hoping I had felt better than I did. In fact, I woke up this morning hurting like hell. Annoyingly one of my antibiotics has a side effect of buggering about with my circulation. Of course, still can’t open my mouth either.

Anyway, Paul and I spoke, most of which I can’t repeat because it is confidential. But I think we both conveyed how much we have loved each other for years. I am not sure that means the sort of love that leads to a relationship and my condition certainly stopped me from trying anything physical though I really wanted to.

It concerns me that Paul is not well yet he is frightened to go to the doctor to get sorted. He could so easily get himself fit and healthy again yet is fixated on old wives tales of the past to how his sort of problems are dealt with and it is really so much easier now. I think I managed to convince him that 42 is not old though!

My friend from Dagenham, Paul visited today and I was so hoping I had felt better than I did. In fact, I woke up this morning hurting like hell. Annoyingly one of my antibiotics has a side effect of buggering about with my circulation. Of course, still can’t open my mouth either.

Anyway, Paul and I spoke, most of which I can’t repeat because it is confidential. But I think we both conveyed how much we have loved each other for years. I am not sure that means the sort of love that leads to a relationship and my condition certainly stopped me from trying anything physical though I really wanted to.

It concerns me that Paul is not well yet he is frightened to go to the doctor to get sorted. He could so easily get himself fit and healthy again yet is fixated on old wives tales of the past to how his sort of problems are dealt with and it is really so much easier now. I think I managed to convince him that 42 is not old though!

I had a lovely day today.

Went over to Tony’s, the whole of Castlethorpe will forever be Tony’s place to me. I was greeted by Danny and Tom soon joined us. I also met Tony and I was dreading that as I so didn’t want to be blubbering knowing how Tony doesn’t really do outbursts of emotion well and, thankfully, I was just so relieved to see him at all that I simply enjoyed his company and had a small giggle with him and it was nice.

Danny cooked a Jambalaya which was gorgeous and I followed that with some ice cream thoroughly enjoying both.

Tony looked amazingly well, even with his illness he still manages to ignore his age and be ‘Tony’, he is truly amazing, such an attractive man. I didn’t check but he probably needs a haircut!

Tom will always be great and another of those that does not have an age. I know how old he is but he doesn’t live by his age, he is a person that can rise above numbers and I have a great deal of respect for him. I know he is going to, if not already, find it tough dealing with the whole situation he is in right now.

Danny is family and I love him dearly. I wish I could do more to help him through this and will try my best to do so, he is a total rock, we are just so similar he and I, hurting like hell inside yet still able to get through, cope in ways that others can’t. I get strength from him and I hope he does from me too.

I had a lovely day today.

Went over to Tony’s, the whole of Castlethorpe will forever be Tony’s place to me. I was greeted by Danny and Tom soon joined us. I also met Tony and I was dreading that as I so didn’t want to be blubbering knowing how Tony doesn’t really do outbursts of emotion well and, thankfully, I was just so relieved to see him at all that I simply enjoyed his company and had a small giggle with him and it was nice.

Danny cooked a Jambalaya which was gorgeous and I followed that with some ice cream thoroughly enjoying both.

Tony looked amazingly well, even with his illness he still manages to ignore his age and be ‘Tony’, he is truly amazing, such an attractive man. I didn’t check but he probably needs a haircut!

Tom will always be great and another of those that does not have an age. I know how old he is but he doesn’t live by his age, he is a person that can rise above numbers and I have a great deal of respect for him. I know he is going to, if not already, find it tough dealing with the whole situation he is in right now.

Danny is family and I love him dearly. I wish I could do more to help him through this and will try my best to do so, he is a total rock, we are just so similar he and I, hurting like hell inside yet still able to get through, cope in ways that others can’t. I get strength from him and I hope he does from me too.