… And So It Continues

I was hoping that when Jermaine went residential that my life would change for the better, I would be able to relax and enjoy myself more but I should know better.

It seems that I have to still be doing stuff, sorting things out, looking out for his welfare. I stupidly forgot to make a claim for him to get benefits in his own right when he was 19, that is over £500 I have lost. The advice I got regarding the DLA was also wrong. I was told that once he left I kept the payments for 12 weeks. When I say ‘I’ what is meant there is that I act for Jermaine so the money does come to me. The false information means a loss of a further £823. The Chalfont also got money out of me under what could be a false pretence and that is another £360. In all that means I have lost around £1700 that I thought I would have for this coming year plus being £200+ a week worse off now Jermaine is gone anyway it has made a huge difference to what I can do and how I do it. It is looking increasingly as though I won’t be able to go to Florida after all in October and I was really counting on that holiday as that place has just about everything I can want from a holiday destination and totally no stress and no having to worry about what anyone else is thinking.

There was a time when I managed to find a work around for such problems but I just can’t see it as things are. I just seem to be having more money out than I do coming in. The worse aspect is that 2007 promises to see an even great loss of revenue and a fight on my hands. I cannot see that Zoey will easily get DLA again but then, she is also not able to be left on her own so that I can get a job. If she does get DLA it will be at a much reduced rate making coping with stuff even more stressful and Matt still has this attitude that I am the one that is supposed to support him through college and Uni and I just can’t do it. It’s like I had mega pressure when Jermaine was here but a financial buffer but now have slightly reduced pressure but with the money being taken away, my safety net is slipping and it dead scary.

Martyn has decided not to do Florida, probably academic under the circumstances but I know if I can find the cash I will have just as good a time with Robin and the girls as long as I have my own wheels. The only problem as I see it is that they will have money to do what they want and I won’t. It may be cheaper for me to find somewhere cheap to stay so I really don’t feel obligated to try to ‘keep up’ financially with them or have any awkward moments concerning money.

Am finding it very difficult to get motivated just now. I really don’t feel like doing anything except spend loads of money and eat copious amounts of food. Both these things would ultimately make me all the more miserable. I suspect I know what I am missing but as they don’t sell it at Tesco I shall have to go without for a while longer

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