Month: June 2006

I got a txt from Matt at something close to 1am saying they were enjoying themselves, no idea when they’d be home and ‘happy birthday’

There was a thread started by Martyn on Kagoul which was really nice to read, that was the second thing I noticed.

I got an MMS from Simon wishing me a happy birthday, again, lovely

Nick called and came over and we watched ‘The Producers’ … I love that film, am buying, enough said.

Robin called, always lovely

Daisy came home with Laura and gave me a card. They asked why I was working on my birthday and I said because no one else is volunteering. I also said that no one else emptied the dishwasher, no one else did the washing up from last night and no one else had done the garden in three weeks.

Total of 9 cards and 2 net cards, that is almost a record.

Gifts are … bottle of champers, 2 DVD’s. vouchers from Disney Store (They are so being spent tomorrow and I know what on too (thank you). A bottle of Calvados (I skipped the glass and it just fell in my mouth) … the usual £20 from Dad. Yep, that’s it but what the hell … the sun is shining.

I got a txt from Matt at something close to 1am saying they were enjoying themselves, no idea when they’d be home and ‘happy birthday’

There was a thread started by Martyn on Kagoul which was really nice to read, that was the second thing I noticed.

I got an MMS from Simon wishing me a happy birthday, again, lovely

Nick called and came over and we watched ‘The Producers’ … I love that film, am buying, enough said.

Robin called, always lovely

Daisy came home with Laura and gave me a card. They asked why I was working on my birthday and I said because no one else is volunteering. I also said that no one else emptied the dishwasher, no one else did the washing up from last night and no one else had done the garden in three weeks.

Total of 9 cards and 2 net cards, that is almost a record.

Gifts are … bottle of champers, 2 DVD’s. vouchers from Disney Store (They are so being spent tomorrow and I know what on too (thank you). A bottle of Calvados (I skipped the glass and it just fell in my mouth) … the usual £20 from Dad. Yep, that’s it but what the hell … the sun is shining.

I wish, at times, I didn’t have them.

In the time it takes to publish this entry I shall become 43 years old. That isn’t old and I could have a lot more birthdays yet but too many of them are taken over with negative emotion.

In my head I am alone, there is the world and then there is me and it is one huge battle. I value the part in my life my friends play but they are not, cannot be inside my head.

I feel my only achievment in life is my kids. Sure, I have spread a little happiness, some cash and whatever but it won’t be remembered. If I croaked tomorrow there would be them that miss me for a bit but most won’t notice.

Matt is out with James getting pissed, he’ll be back whenever, I am about to go do the clearing up he left downstairs, the dirty dishes, the left over food. Then I will ut a wash load on. Daisy is out tonight, said she’ll be back about 11 tomorrow. There is just me and Zoey.

My world is off out living their lives and it’s my fucking birthday, happy birthday Steve.

For the record, I so don’t want to talk about this, I want this entry to absorb how I am feeling and make it all go away, back to the stage.

I wish, at times, I didn’t have them.

In the time it takes to publish this entry I shall become 43 years old. That isn’t old and I could have a lot more birthdays yet but too many of them are taken over with negative emotion.

In my head I am alone, there is the world and then there is me and it is one huge battle. I value the part in my life my friends play but they are not, cannot be inside my head.

I feel my only achievment in life is my kids. Sure, I have spread a little happiness, some cash and whatever but it won’t be remembered. If I croaked tomorrow there would be them that miss me for a bit but most won’t notice.

Matt is out with James getting pissed, he’ll be back whenever, I am about to go do the clearing up he left downstairs, the dirty dishes, the left over food. Then I will ut a wash load on. Daisy is out tonight, said she’ll be back about 11 tomorrow. There is just me and Zoey.

My world is off out living their lives and it’s my fucking birthday, happy birthday Steve.

For the record, I so don’t want to talk about this, I want this entry to absorb how I am feeling and make it all go away, back to the stage.