It seems that my current spate of shit is still being thrust against me … my windscreen was blown apart earlier on the way home from Ian & Richard’s by a low flying pheasant. My RAC cover had expired but they’d not bothered sending out a reminder so how I was I meant to know? This meant I had to drive looking through this shattered screen for 24 miles hoping it didn’t collapse in on me.

On getting home I had to buy myself a recovery package to make sure I don’t get caught out again which is £60 and I still need to find the excess for the screen replacement.

I was so pleased with myself for someone actually showing gratitude with cash for some favour I did, it seemed like I was getting a little reward and it was sweet. But, that and more is gone now, what is given with hand is taken away with interest from the other.

Because of my recent bought of terrible luck I am now reluctant to go anywhere in the car, it just costs me more and more. I still have to find the money for the repairs, way more money going out than is coming in.

My mind is now in doom mode, I am just expecting more stuff to happen, it’s like I am just having more and more shit piles high and I just can’t see any reasoning to it. I mean, what’s the point? I am sure I have proved over and over that I can recover from these situations, it’s not news anymore and everyone expects me to … maybe I am not meant to, maybe I am being pushed for the benefit of someone else? None of it makes sense anyway.

In the back of my mind I wonder whether I am getting this just so as I can appreciate the lottery win all the more but that ain’t gonna happen. There is no flip side to what’s happening, it’s just bad on bad.

Had a fairly good time with Jermaine Saturday, got some smiles but it’s still really sad. His room stinks of piss, his hair has not been cut in months, he has not had a shave, his teeth are still broken and they just won’t do any of the things I am asking of them there and finding somewhere else is just taking so long.

Getting myself upbeat for Christmas is going to take some doing for sure!