In a recent course I was taught the importance of saying NO! The thing is, it only works if I say no to people that can afford to have me say no to them.
So, I say yes and I make adjustments to my life to compensate for what I have given away either in time, financially or emotionally.
The best reward for what I do is to have peeps say I am appreciated, to be there when I am in need and just go that extra mile now and then even though it may mean they go without something to do so.
It hardly ever happens of course, being a good guy sometimes just sucks.
I spent a lot this year on gifts confident I had the money. What I didn’t know was that I was about to get my car clobbered and that a fault would develop with the engine and together they would cost me £400 I didn’t have.
For years I have run a group for gay dads, given up a lot of time and helped loads of guys out behind the scenes but what thanks do I get? Nope, someone that very easily opens his house once every few weeks to guys that can easily get there is told how wonderful he is, his praises are sung, rightly so as it’s a great thing to do but I am one of those unsung guys that no one notices. I just do the boring stuff, like the site just runs itself and no other effort has to be made. It matters not … hell, yes it does, it’s a thankless task doing for others without so much as a thank you.
Right now I am actually considering getting rid of my car. I am not thinking it because I can’t afford to run it, I probably can but what I can’t have, when I am emotionally stressed, is to get such huge bills. Using public transport would be better, so would walking, I can get Tesco to deliver and for those moments when I really need a car, I can rent one. I then don’t have to worry about each screech of brakes outside, each little warning light, it’s not my problem. It also makes saying no a whole lot easier … “I don’t have a car, sorry”
I probably won’t of course, it’s just words and a symptom of my current depression.