Month: March 2007

I have been looking forward to watching ‘Happy Feet’ for some time now. I wanted to see it at the cinema but just never managed it so I was quite keen when the DVD arrived through the door earlier.

My plan was to watch it this evening if I wanted to but that kinda looked unlikely as Matt had Kerry over so I resigned myself to not seeing it until perhaps the weekend sometime.

I set myself up in the office to catalogue my software collection which was bound to take some time. Just got settled into it when Kerry left and Matt came straight in saying we should go watch the movie now. I explained I was kinda busy but he started to do the reasoning thing so I said I’d be along later. Daisy soon started shouted that the movie was about to start so get a move on.

So, I put everything on hold and headed in there to find there were actually no seats. John, Matt and Daisy were on the main sofa and Zoey was taking up most of the two seater allowing me just the end nearest the door.

That made me really upset because I so wanted to see it relaxed and cuddled up to John. I walked out again and then started to get moaned at because I was spoiling the ‘family event’. I tried to explain how I was feeling but wasn’t being listened to, getting sarcastic remarks off Daisy and Matt was just accusing me of lying saying how I never intended to watch the movie anyway. He’s announced he’s going out, I don’t know if he is or not.

It’s always like this, others do something to upset me yet it’s me that ends up being made to feel even more crap than I felt already.

I’ve been real busy all day today doing stuff that needed doing and little of it for me. I got just 3 hours sleep last night and yet was up for a meeting at Daisy’s school to try and sort her out. I’ve been doing washing and putting things away. Writing email, putting feelers out for a job in IT. I have been trying to sort my Ipaq out as it wasn’t working right. John needed something loaded on his PC. Went looking for a birthday gift for Matt, drove to get fish and chips. In short a right busy day.

John didn’t get out of bed until the afternoon then soon after he and Matt went down town to enjoy themselves. The girls have sorted themselves out with Daisy going straight onto her laptop when she got in and assuming her only chore was to finally put away some washing she was meant to sort out last week.

Well, I was stressed and just needed to chill out and put my feet up and there they were just sitting there like I was the most unimportant person on the planet and I just felt like shit, it was the last straw and it just didn’t need to have happened, it’s just a respect thing. Always make a seat for the man in charge kind of thing but that just doesn’t happen here and I am sick of the competition in my own house.

I have been looking forward to watching ‘Happy Feet’ for some time now. I wanted to see it at the cinema but just never managed it so I was quite keen when the DVD arrived through the door earlier.

My plan was to watch it this evening if I wanted to but that kinda looked unlikely as Matt had Kerry over so I resigned myself to not seeing it until perhaps the weekend sometime.

I set myself up in the office to catalogue my software collection which was bound to take some time. Just got settled into it when Kerry left and Matt came straight in saying we should go watch the movie now. I explained I was kinda busy but he started to do the reasoning thing so I said I’d be along later. Daisy soon started shouted that the movie was about to start so get a move on.

So, I put everything on hold and headed in there to find there were actually no seats. John, Matt and Daisy were on the main sofa and Zoey was taking up most of the two seater allowing me just the end nearest the door.

That made me really upset because I so wanted to see it relaxed and cuddled up to John. I walked out again and then started to get moaned at because I was spoiling the ‘family event’. I tried to explain how I was feeling but wasn’t being listened to, getting sarcastic remarks off Daisy and Matt was just accusing me of lying saying how I never intended to watch the movie anyway. He’s announced he’s going out, I don’t know if he is or not.

It’s always like this, others do something to upset me yet it’s me that ends up being made to feel even more crap than I felt already.

I’ve been real busy all day today doing stuff that needed doing and little of it for me. I got just 3 hours sleep last night and yet was up for a meeting at Daisy’s school to try and sort her out. I’ve been doing washing and putting things away. Writing email, putting feelers out for a job in IT. I have been trying to sort my Ipaq out as it wasn’t working right. John needed something loaded on his PC. Went looking for a birthday gift for Matt, drove to get fish and chips. In short a right busy day.

John didn’t get out of bed until the afternoon then soon after he and Matt went down town to enjoy themselves. The girls have sorted themselves out with Daisy going straight onto her laptop when she got in and assuming her only chore was to finally put away some washing she was meant to sort out last week.

Well, I was stressed and just needed to chill out and put my feet up and there they were just sitting there like I was the most unimportant person on the planet and I just felt like shit, it was the last straw and it just didn’t need to have happened, it’s just a respect thing. Always make a seat for the man in charge kind of thing but that just doesn’t happen here and I am sick of the competition in my own house.

Excuse my Greek!

But seriously, it ain’t so good right now on the child front and I am feeling like a failure as a parent.

Not only have I in the past year had to deal with one of my kids shagging a child but also learnt that two of them smoked. Both promised not to, both lied to me. One of them, our Daisy, feels that tobacco is not enough and so has been on weed too, yesterday she was shoplifting and I am so much feeling like a complete parental failure because it’s so opposite to what I have brought them up to know is the difference between right and wrong.

Matt appears to think it’s OK to keep me stressed out over stuff and let things he knows bug me trundle along for weeks or months rather than just simply resolve them which is rarely more complex than a quick conversation or telephone call. This latest one is his need to arrange to have the time for our July holiday booked off work. He tried to book it weeks ago and it was declined and he’s done nothing about it since. He also has a passport application sitting in his room which has sat there for a month waiting on him to complete it. He could resolve both these things simply. On one he needs to just sign it, pop it in an envelope and post it. The other he needs to speak to a manager at work and find out for sure if he can have this two weeks. If not then he needs to either cancel the holiday or look for another job.

He knew about Daisy smoking and doing drugs months ago but decided not to tell me because he wanted to remain popular with her … he’d already said he’d given up on being able to stop her so he decided to carry on being popular and provided a cigarette to her. So, not only am I unaware of what she is doing but he is actually encouraging it … to be popular. As if my life was not difficult enough already.

I am really not sure right now just how much energy I have got to deal with all his shite. Not that I feel life’s problems would be resolved were he not involved but they would be significantly easier.

To Daisy’s credit, it was her that finally told me about the drugs and smoking … oh, did I mention the sex? Where the fuck did I go wrong?

Excuse my Greek!

But seriously, it ain’t so good right now on the child front and I am feeling like a failure as a parent.

Not only have I in the past year had to deal with one of my kids shagging a child but also learnt that two of them smoked. Both promised not to, both lied to me. One of them, our Daisy, feels that tobacco is not enough and so has been on weed too, yesterday she was shoplifting and I am so much feeling like a complete parental failure because it’s so opposite to what I have brought them up to know is the difference between right and wrong.

Matt appears to think it’s OK to keep me stressed out over stuff and let things he knows bug me trundle along for weeks or months rather than just simply resolve them which is rarely more complex than a quick conversation or telephone call. This latest one is his need to arrange to have the time for our July holiday booked off work. He tried to book it weeks ago and it was declined and he’s done nothing about it since. He also has a passport application sitting in his room which has sat there for a month waiting on him to complete it. He could resolve both these things simply. On one he needs to just sign it, pop it in an envelope and post it. The other he needs to speak to a manager at work and find out for sure if he can have this two weeks. If not then he needs to either cancel the holiday or look for another job.

He knew about Daisy smoking and doing drugs months ago but decided not to tell me because he wanted to remain popular with her … he’d already said he’d given up on being able to stop her so he decided to carry on being popular and provided a cigarette to her. So, not only am I unaware of what she is doing but he is actually encouraging it … to be popular. As if my life was not difficult enough already.

I am really not sure right now just how much energy I have got to deal with all his shite. Not that I feel life’s problems would be resolved were he not involved but they would be significantly easier.

To Daisy’s credit, it was her that finally told me about the drugs and smoking … oh, did I mention the sex? Where the fuck did I go wrong?