Time on a Bender

It seemed not five minutes since 2009 had just started and we had a whole year to look forward to and … what a year!

Time seems, in many respects, to be flying by so fast it is all I can do to hold on to the tail feathers and not get left behind and then, at other times, events take so long to complete.

Right now I probably have more of my life ‘on the go’ than I ever have. It seems there is a near endless list of events not yet quite happening. Yes, there is definite promise of them bursting into existence at any time but, and it is a big BUT, some of these things have taken months in the making and I have no idea just when they are cooked.

Is the light in this tunnel at the end or, is it an oncoming train? This is where the speed versus lag comes into play … time goes so rapid that the direction seems to be decided before thought has woken up and taken hold of the rope. The drawback there is, I am constantly having to rewrite the map to work out how to get to the objective …. there’s a buzzword of the moment ‘objective’. It’s all about objectives, what is the end game and sod how we get there! There is an argument for that, does it matter as long as the outcome is the same? Probably not. Except, yes it does. It matters because this is about emotion, real people, hopes and dreams. It maybe is not enough to simply arrive, it matters how we get there.

My apologies, once again, for I am not making much sense to anyone except those intimately aware of the domestic situation here. It must remain that way as some issues are so sensitive they are not for publication.

I was asked the other day, does this compare to that day, 4 years ago, we know as ‘Black Friday’? My answer was easy because, coincidentally, I had been thinking of it just hours earlier … yes, this is much like that day and, in many ways, far worse. On the plus side for that moment I could go to bed and others could cope. Not so right now, if I remove myself from the current ongoing story, it may well collapse and head off in a direction I cannot pull it back from. It’s like being on a cattle drive and deciding to let the cows decide the route for the day. It would be a very relaxing day but then there would be a near hopeless task of rounding up the herd again.

Not that I consider anyone I am involved with as cattle, far from it, it was an analogy to assist in the understanding of why I simple cannot rest day or night.

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