Neither Daisy or myself stopped James seeing Josh, in fact, we are still not stopping him … he has made no attempt to see him at all in over a week now.
It was not my idea to go to court, I spent an age trying to prevent it.
What James had was the following and. he knows damn well this is the truth so let’s have no more of his damn lies …
He was able to visit any time.
He could stay over if he wanted (and did both of those things)
We were working to him being able to cope with Josh at his place as soon as Christmas but he said he still couldn’t.
He accepted our hospitality and paid nothing for it
He ate here and drank here, used our Xbox and internet connection and my mobile whenever he wanted to
He has paid a total, an absolute total of £10 toward the cost of his son, he still owes me nearly £70 for two items he bought for Josh.
When he met Chrlsea and it got serious the week Josh was born he devoted his interests to her and away from Josh
He was meant to go to Kent with us but decided to stay at home instead. When we still thought he was coming with us he said he couldn’t see Josh during the week because he wanted to spend time with Chelsea which he did. He then decided on the Wednesday not to go with us yet still spent the Thursday evening with Chelsea. He called up and got me to collect him and his bike from Chelseas house the other side of town after 8pm when he knew Josh would be in bed (he and Daisy agreed 8pm was Josh’s bedtime)
He had a little while with Josh when he got here.
The point of his coming over was to see Josh yet whilst Josh was up and about to spend time with his dad, James was either on the phone to Chelsea or on MSN. He said that he’d be on duty overnight to take care of Josh yet didn’t get up even once. In the morning, around 9am, he was woken up to sort Josh out but said he was too tired and made someone else go deal with him.
When we were in town he got my son Matt to change Josh’s smelly nappy as he just refused. At home, Josh had a dirty nose but James wouldn’t clean him, Sean had to do that.
The deal for such good access and help being able to cope with Josh was the following …
He would forget any idea of going to court, as he wanted to do prior to Josh being born, and tell the social worker pushing for him to do that to go away. There was one earlier issue which he was to strictly keep to himself of a personal nature ….
When it became obvious one person knew what they should not have known James promised that no one else would know … he also promised there was no chance anyone else knew. that was all he had to do … in return he got this:
The above access
His name on Josh’s birth certificate
His being able to be here when Josh was born and to cut the cord
What did James actually do?
He continued to see the social worker
He told too many people about the personal issue, we only found out how many by accident and, even then, he lied about.
As soon as his name was on the birth certificate … more on that in a bit … he went nasty. He was even being nasty to Daisy during the registration process making her feel intimidated.
When we discovered he’d lied about the personal issue I said he needed to stay away until I had smoothed things out … I promised I would do so. That was Friday 16th October. He didn’t attempt to make contact at all so I called him after sorting things out at home to find out why not and whether he’d prepared to just simply apologise (over facebook as it happens) and everthing would be OK, he could come round Saturday evening.
He said, he couldn’t come round as Chelsea was staying at his … I suggested that maybe, if he wanted to see Josh he could ask her to go home … he refused.
Daisy got really angry that he would put his 15 year old girlfriend ahead of his son so she went round there and asked him outright, was he going to resume proper access or would he prefer to go to court and get the sort of pathetic access they would offer?
He said he didn’t want to go to court so again, he was asked if perhaps his girlfriend could go home and he said it was impossible. He asked me and Daisy to go round the next morning, the Sunday, to talk things over with him and sort things out so he could come over on the Sunday.
Daisy and I got there when we said we would but he was out.
It turns out, he went over to Chelseas the Saturday night, the night he said it was impossible to get back over there as he was ‘upset’. He was again asked if he was going to sort the mess out or did he want to go to court he got really abusive insisting I should die or ‘summat’
At no time ever did either me or Daisy say he couldn’t see Josh … the first time going the legal route was mentioned was from James social worker. Had either Daisy or I wanted that option then we could have simply not offered him any of the above, it would have been a lot easier just to shut him out and go legal
Now, on Facebook, James is pretending that somehow it was all our idea, we told him he has to go to court and he had no choice in the matter. That is just an outright lie. We did no such thing, the decision to go to court was just the only option left available … what else could anyone have done when James made it clear he wanted no more to do with the access he already had?
Again, on Facebook, James has been making death threats against me, I shall report those to the police in the morning. Telling lies is one thing but saying how he hates me and would happily shoot me if he got his hands on a gun is another. I don’t have to and will not put up with that sort of thing.
No one in this family has done anything wrong, we did our very best to include James in everything even offering for him to come on holiday with us.
When Josh was born there were hugs all round and tears of joy, I am not making it up … we have two midwives would testify to how welcome James was made and countless pictures … not one picture on James profile was taken with his phone yet many of him and Chelsea appear there.
On Facebook again he answers the question, earlier on today, which are the two people you miss the most … he answers, his mummy and daddy, not a mention of his son.
Throughout his profile on there and in various quizzes he describes himself as awesome and very happy … hardly consusive with the image he lies about of his being really upset that his son has been taken away from him … were it me, and my son, I would have been extra nice to my ex’s family to maintain that good contact, I would have done anything within the law to see him. James has done nothing, zero, not a moment of anything to see Josh since October 16th.
James is welcome to comment on this entry, anyone can … I can easily prove anything I have said above and provide witnesses that James has done what I said, unrelated witnesses too. I am happy to talk to anyone about it and swear under oath in court it is true and present the evidence we have.
On the matter of the birth certificate …
The arrangement was that James came to our at 2:30pm that afternoon and we’d all go into town. Remember, as far as we were aware, we all got along fine at this time.
He called me at lunchtime that day … he asked if he could see Josh the following day, I agreed but asked if he was sure ‘tomorrow’ and not ‘today’? He said he was sure and he’d see me tomorrow … in other words, too late for the registration.
I called his mum, spoke to her about a confusion we had between us but also mentioned the registration problem. She said that James had told her he had no idea when Josh was being registered. I suggested she may want to remind him.
The appointment was for 3:30pm, James turned up at 3:28 on his bike at the registry office … he then blamed Daisy for telling him the wrong place … remember, Daisy didn’t tell him anywhere as he was meant to be at ours for 2:30. He also told Daisy he’d arranged to meet Chelsea the other side of town, some 15-20 mins away at 4pm … now, it doesn’t take rocket science to work out he’d forgot … rather than me man enough to admit his mum had to remind him, he was nasty to Daisy blaming her … this is the level of committment and degree of responsibility James has with regard to his son … he’d forgotten his registration yet remembered to be at his girlfriends house!
James lies are going to catch up with him … he cannot keep telling them and fool everyone all of the time … people need to know, this is what James does, he lies to get what he wants or, to deflect guilt from himself …
One thing very clear … any loss of contact between James and Josh is entirely James choice.
As it stands now, we will just have to sort it out through the court. Daisy will honour and respect any decision the court shall make based on the evidence and. most important, in Josh’s best interests.
I don’t like James spreading lies about me, I really don’t but it is what he does. He’s been doing it for over 9 months now. I like even less the death threats …
See the very last question …. says it all. Social services tell me to inform the police, I shall