I did get a lay-in (yay) but that is about as far as rest has gone for today.

Apparently I didn’t make good enough arrangements today to go meet someone so they had a shower instead, cost me a fivers worth of fuel for nothing that. As it happens, I’d have not been able to stay long as someone left themselves in an awkward situation which they needed me to sort out for them … I mean, I could have been mean and strung it out a little but, I think they were feeling awkward enough as it was … after that was a short time of nearly relaxing until I checked messages on Facebook and found out someone I am bending over backward to try and help started a message to me along the lines of … “Who the fuck do you think you are?”, charming. Like I have said before, why do some people only ever see the ‘right now’ and ignore everything else … my patience with that person is wearing very thin, very soon I shall not bother and then I think they will see how bad things can get without me working for them behind the scenes!

Sean is feeling a little poop, probably man flu so dosed him up, cooled him down and told him to keep active, I think he shall be OK, probably all the excitement of getting a qualification this week for which we all ever so proud. He’s also got himself some work experience which could lead on to something even more positive and yet another course to ensure he gets more valuable qualifications showing just how much someone can come from nothing to something if they stop blaming their past for what they do now.

I feel quite shattered but amazed to see I actually have a clear diary for tomorrow … it won’t last.

Friday we are hoping to get to see Jermaine though we can never be quite certain. As it is his birthday we are going to try and make an extra special effort.

I did get a lay-in (yay) but that is about as far as rest has gone for today.

Apparently I didn’t make good enough arrangements today to go meet someone so they had a shower instead, cost me a fivers worth of fuel for nothing that. As it happens, I’d have not been able to stay long as someone left themselves in an awkward situation which they needed me to sort out for them … I mean, I could have been mean and strung it out a little but, I think they were feeling awkward enough as it was … after that was a short time of nearly relaxing until I checked messages on Facebook and found out someone I am bending over backward to try and help started a message to me along the lines of … “Who the fuck do you think you are?”, charming. Like I have said before, why do some people only ever see the ‘right now’ and ignore everything else … my patience with that person is wearing very thin, very soon I shall not bother and then I think they will see how bad things can get without me working for them behind the scenes!

Sean is feeling a little poop, probably man flu so dosed him up, cooled him down and told him to keep active, I think he shall be OK, probably all the excitement of getting a qualification this week for which we all ever so proud. He’s also got himself some work experience which could lead on to something even more positive and yet another course to ensure he gets more valuable qualifications showing just how much someone can come from nothing to something if they stop blaming their past for what they do now.

I feel quite shattered but amazed to see I actually have a clear diary for tomorrow … it won’t last.

Friday we are hoping to get to see Jermaine though we can never be quite certain. As it is his birthday we are going to try and make an extra special effort.

Saturday was a totally shite day for me … I mean, horribly, rock bottomly crap.

For the record, District 9 cost $30m to make, the average Hollywood movie is $150m. That means it was a ‘low budget’ movie. Slumdog Millionaire, was $15m, a very low budget movie.

If I can just agree to go to the eastern district or go to Tesco without objecting, I don’t think it is too much to expect someone may volunteer now and then to make a cup of tea especially as they ate my food as well. When someone annoys me, I don’t pack up my toys and walk away, I try and sort it out calmly, make allowances.

For the record, changing a really shitty nappy in the back of a car in the dark is not easy. That there may have been a slight bit of mess left for later is forgivable and, at the time, I did say he’d need to be sorted at home, that I’d done my best for now. I didn’t have to change the nappy at all and I didn’t need to be slagged off for not getting it just so.

It is not unreasonable to ask that babies do not dominate the entire evening in my own home. Yes, they need someone when they need someone but, that doesn’t have to bother everyone else. I love both my grandchildren but, every now and then, it is good to sit down as adults like we used to.

I am sorry if my current depression is not to the liking of everyone, I really cannot turn it off and on. I really think, considering how I am often feeling, that coming across as relaxed and chilled as I do is a small miracle. I don’t want the way I am feeling to effect everyone else but I can’t stop it affecting me it seems. I need you lot to stop arguing about sod all, no bickering, point scoring, devils advocate just relax, be calm and remember we actually love each other, how difficult can that be? Life is not a competition!

It’s 3am, I am shattered, want to cry myself to sleep but am not even sure I’ll be able to get to sleep. Things will seem different tomorrow, but, probably not.

Let’s show some love eh, there has been enough pointless stress caused this past year, totally pointless, how about we try and not let that happen this year? Would it help if I said please?

Saturday was a totally shite day for me … I mean, horribly, rock bottomly crap.

For the record, District 9 cost $30m to make, the average Hollywood movie is $150m. That means it was a ‘low budget’ movie. Slumdog Millionaire, was $15m, a very low budget movie.

If I can just agree to go to the eastern district or go to Tesco without objecting, I don’t think it is too much to expect someone may volunteer now and then to make a cup of tea especially as they ate my food as well. When someone annoys me, I don’t pack up my toys and walk away, I try and sort it out calmly, make allowances.

For the record, changing a really shitty nappy in the back of a car in the dark is not easy. That there may have been a slight bit of mess left for later is forgivable and, at the time, I did say he’d need to be sorted at home, that I’d done my best for now. I didn’t have to change the nappy at all and I didn’t need to be slagged off for not getting it just so.

It is not unreasonable to ask that babies do not dominate the entire evening in my own home. Yes, they need someone when they need someone but, that doesn’t have to bother everyone else. I love both my grandchildren but, every now and then, it is good to sit down as adults like we used to.

I am sorry if my current depression is not to the liking of everyone, I really cannot turn it off and on. I really think, considering how I am often feeling, that coming across as relaxed and chilled as I do is a small miracle. I don’t want the way I am feeling to effect everyone else but I can’t stop it affecting me it seems. I need you lot to stop arguing about sod all, no bickering, point scoring, devils advocate just relax, be calm and remember we actually love each other, how difficult can that be? Life is not a competition!

It’s 3am, I am shattered, want to cry myself to sleep but am not even sure I’ll be able to get to sleep. Things will seem different tomorrow, but, probably not.

Let’s show some love eh, there has been enough pointless stress caused this past year, totally pointless, how about we try and not let that happen this year? Would it help if I said please?