Hearing news of how my reputation is being ripped apart by false stories about me obviously hurts. It hurts because it means that, to some, these stories might come across as credible because they don’t know me. It might actually stop someone getting helped by me who could really do with being helped by me.
I accept why these lies are in existence, it is because someone gains something from them whether it be the moral high ground or a free lifestyle doesn’t much matter but, ironically, by telling those lies I am actually still being the same person I was when I helped them directly, at least partly, because I exist they are getting some sort of help, support or free ride, call it what you will. It is ironic that in seeking to damage me they are actually acknowledging my worth to them being the same as it always was.
Unfortunately, there will be victims in this, for every lie there is at least one believer. By the time they realise they’ve been duped it will be too late, they will be aware that they too spread those lies about me, they will have to live with that in their own minds,
You see, I know I am a good person. I know my intentions were always good even when I occasionally, perhaps all too often got things wrong. That someone makes up something horrid about me doesn’t change the absolute truth. It’s one of the other things we learn from the books which make the Bible, turn the other cheek. The actions of others do not have to make us a different person, we cannot be responsible for them or their actions. What we do about the abuse they inflict upon us is what defines us, they already defined themselves with their deeds.
I don’t hate, I refuse to because that changes the person I am. I don’t have to hate to remove someone from my life, I just need to learn. Once I have accepted that they have no capacity to accept the love I offer there is no more I can reasonably do.
I do regret the damage my actions caused to the genuine people around me, when I was faced with such a strong need to help and support another human I lost sight occasionally of others who also needed me. Long term though, I think I’d probably do the same again because I feel, though it was hard it was also needed.
The moral here is, if you feel that what you are doing is the right path to travel down then, walk that path just, keep your eyes open, if you see signs saying you’re going the wrong way, don’t ignore them, turn on the satnav, ask for help and get some truth into your new direction.
The above is taken from years of learned experiences, not just with any one individual, I’ve been the real me since around 1998 so, there will always be way more than one such situation.
Lies
Hearing news of how my reputation is being ripped apart by false stories about me obviously hurts. It hurts because it means that, to some, these stories might come across as credible because they don’t know me. It might actually stop someone getting helped by me who could really do with being helped by me.
I accept why these lies are in existence, it is because someone gains something from them whether it be the moral high ground or a free lifestyle doesn’t much matter but, ironically, by telling those lies I am actually still being the same person I was when I helped them directly, at least partly, because I exist they are getting some sort of help, support or free ride, call it what you will. It is ironic that in seeking to damage me they are actually acknowledging my worth to them being the same as it always was.
Unfortunately, there will be victims in this, for every lie there is at least one believer. By the time they realise they’ve been duped it will be too late, they will be aware that they too spread those lies about me, they will have to live with that in their own minds,
You see, I know I am a good person. I know my intentions were always good even when I occasionally, perhaps all too often got things wrong. That someone makes up something horrid about me doesn’t change the absolute truth. It’s one of the other things we learn from the books which make the Bible, turn the other cheek. The actions of others do not have to make us a different person, we cannot be responsible for them or their actions. What we do about the abuse they inflict upon us is what defines us, they already defined themselves with their deeds.
I don’t hate, I refuse to because that changes the person I am. I don’t have to hate to remove someone from my life, I just need to learn. Once I have accepted that they have no capacity to accept the love I offer there is no more I can reasonably do.
I do regret the damage my actions caused to the genuine people around me, when I was faced with such a strong need to help and support another human I lost sight occasionally of others who also needed me. Long term though, I think I’d probably do the same again because I feel, though it was hard it was also needed.
The moral here is, if you feel that what you are doing is the right path to travel down then, walk that path just, keep your eyes open, if you see signs saying you’re going the wrong way, don’t ignore them, turn on the satnav, ask for help and get some truth into your new direction.
The above is taken from years of learned experiences, not just with any one individual, I’ve been the real me since around 1998 so, there will always be way more than one such situation.
Nearly November
Did I update everyone on the ‘Jo’ situation?
My apologies, I should have done.
During August the decision came through, it had been rejected. I could see why though and it seemed quite a quick fix, another few hundred £’s but it would have been accepted, I am sure of it. However, Jo decided he didn’t want to appeal. He wanted the decision to stand and just leave it. I remember once, when I was there, if we could not just have a long distance relationship. I explained why there were so many reasons that wouldn’t work for me. Of course, I was a little stupid, perhaps a lot stupid and, turns out all he was really after was my money. I sent over rather a lot after my visit. I thought I could trust him you see. He said he wasn’t getting his wages, I believed him and sent over around £160 every 4 weeks. I paid over £300 to clear his debt on the motorbike he has, I spent nearly £2000 on legal fees and visa fees, another £600+ on flights and accommodation, paid for an English course for him, another £100 or so, this is what it looks like to be foolish and gullible.
Anyway, suffice to say my eyes were finally opened and that was that. It did hurt, obviously it did because it totally changed the direction of my life and it’s left me with a large debt I can barely afford but, like everything, it’s likely for a reason and I can move on financially hopefully next year.
It is with some regret that I chose to go with Jo, I know now that I should have waited, seen who else would come along but, yet again, I can’t second guess myself like that or time travel so I shall just have to go with what I can go with.
I am still reasonably healthy, in need of going back to the gym, I probably should spend more time with friends.
Dad is still living here, that’s likely going to be the case until next year some time. Things are well progressed there with what needed to be sorted so we’re looking for a happy outcome maybe in January.
Am still dealing with my complaint to the DWP, at least now they’re admitting they got something wrong.
I went through a huge period of severe depression, hit the bottom and bounced back up … I really wish people would not think telling me to pull myself together or think how much better off I am than someone else is going to solve anything, all it does it shows me how ignorant they are of mental health issues. What I need is friends who genuinely care and can be there with the hugs.
Needless to say, no holidays even considered for 2015. I do have a fair few of the Christmas gifts I am going to buy, it’s going to be quite tight this year though.
Nearly November
Did I update everyone on the ‘Jo’ situation?
My apologies, I should have done.
During August the decision came through, it had been rejected. I could see why though and it seemed quite a quick fix, another few hundred £’s but it would have been accepted, I am sure of it. However, Jo decided he didn’t want to appeal. He wanted the decision to stand and just leave it. I remember once, when I was there, if we could not just have a long distance relationship. I explained why there were so many reasons that wouldn’t work for me. Of course, I was a little stupid, perhaps a lot stupid and, turns out all he was really after was my money. I sent over rather a lot after my visit. I thought I could trust him you see. He said he wasn’t getting his wages, I believed him and sent over around £160 every 4 weeks. I paid over £300 to clear his debt on the motorbike he has, I spent nearly £2000 on legal fees and visa fees, another £600+ on flights and accommodation, paid for an English course for him, another £100 or so, this is what it looks like to be foolish and gullible.
Anyway, suffice to say my eyes were finally opened and that was that. It did hurt, obviously it did because it totally changed the direction of my life and it’s left me with a large debt I can barely afford but, like everything, it’s likely for a reason and I can move on financially hopefully next year.
It is with some regret that I chose to go with Jo, I know now that I should have waited, seen who else would come along but, yet again, I can’t second guess myself like that or time travel so I shall just have to go with what I can go with.
I am still reasonably healthy, in need of going back to the gym, I probably should spend more time with friends.
Dad is still living here, that’s likely going to be the case until next year some time. Things are well progressed there with what needed to be sorted so we’re looking for a happy outcome maybe in January.
Am still dealing with my complaint to the DWP, at least now they’re admitting they got something wrong.
I went through a huge period of severe depression, hit the bottom and bounced back up … I really wish people would not think telling me to pull myself together or think how much better off I am than someone else is going to solve anything, all it does it shows me how ignorant they are of mental health issues. What I need is friends who genuinely care and can be there with the hugs.
Needless to say, no holidays even considered for 2015. I do have a fair few of the Christmas gifts I am going to buy, it’s going to be quite tight this year though.