Exhausted

I feel guilty because I didn’t get to see Zoey today. It must be so scary for her and difficult to trust anyone. We’ve all but told her she’ll be coming home yet no one visited today. Of course, had we gone we’d still have had to leave her there and perhaps that might have been worse than not going at all, who knows?

Today I’ve been getting some help from a friend to put a stronger case for Zoey’s release should they deny her the right to come home by Monday. I knew most of it but, even so, having someone else write it all up and to act as a sounding board and come up with the same conclusions as me is comforting.

Today I passed on visiting the hospital as I’d not have been strong enough to cope if Zoey got upset. Yes, that’s selfish, I know this but I don’t want her to feel my nervousness as to whether she is coming home or not. Yesterday we all managed to be so positive and that’s how I want her to carry on feeling.

It feels like I am not likely to get completely over the bug I had for a while yet, I’ve felt a little feverish today on top of my cold, I really just want to go to bed if I am honest.

There is only one option to not coping and that’s giving up and I don’t like to do that, I’ve rarely got to the point where I had to and I don’t relish the thought of having to do it again, I am not in that mindset.

I am very grateful to all those who have been are remain supporting me and the rest of the family, it is much appreciated. It’s tough not just on me but on everyone who cares about Zoey not least Zoey herself.

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