It feels like it does sometimes. I often say how much I’d love to go out to work just for a break, I’m not kidding!
We’re still waiting to get any service at all for Zoey, it’s been months now. The Department of Works and Pensions just told me I have until 22nd January to apply for her Personal Independence Payment … which I just know they’ll reject first time around so I will have to appeal. When they reject it I lose ALL income until it is sorted again. I don’t mean it gets cut I really mean I shall have zero income. The amount Zoey will have left won’t even cost how much she actually costs herself!
Of course, I could just think positive and assume it will all be approved first time but, that’s not my experience in life, life, for me isn’t so easy. I have to fight for everything. I am supposedly very good at it but, why should I have to? Others seem to have really good and stress free lives, why is it I get picked out as the one who can’t have that?
I am entitled to a Carers Assessment to make sure my needs are met but, the only people who do that are Northamptonshire Carers and those who know me know why I can’t have anything to do with them so, I don’t get any support as a Carer at all.
To make matters worse, I can’t get a hug from the love of my life because he lives 7000 miles away and, yet more annoying, the internet connection has become totally unreliable the past week or so. I also have the uncertainty of whether or not he’ll get a visa to come here in the Spring or whether or not I will be in a position to bring him here next year. Other people don’t have these worries.
I have to trust that God or someone will not let my life continue being so difficult, that some help will be offered when it’s needed but, it’s tough to do that.
Yes, I know this sounds like one of those unattractive whinging posts, because it is basically but, sometimes I am all too aware that people think I am incredibly strong and can deal with anything and everything … they might think that, they’re wrong.