Author: Steve Antipolo

One thing or another has conspired to a bit of a mess. The main issue has been my continued faith in the goodness of others. I am proud to feel that way yet, it bites me so many times when I am wrong. This last few months have been that. Companies who have not paid me or Dennis as they perhaps should have creating a huge debt for us on top of that which we already had. In my case, it lead to me making a terrible decision designed to reduce our outgoings which actually resulted in even more debt. Because the remuneration for travel time has not been forthcoming from my work to cover the costs I decided replacing my Chrysler Voyager, which I love, with a smaller, more economical car would make more sense and, to that end, I did all the research and decided upon a mini like this one:

It seemed like a good idea at the time. Alarm bells should have sounded with the price tag but I trusted the seller. He was forthcoming with the issues the car had. In his opinion there was a head gasket issue. He had spoken to the BMW dealers and they had quoted him £350 for the repair. Me, being trusting as always, took him for his word and we agreed the sale. I paid £650 and eventually got the car to the dealership for diagnostics. Long story short, they assure me that at their prices it would initially come in at least £950 assuming they found nothing else but possible way over £1000 and advised it would be an uneconomical repair. If it were just the head gasket then I think perhaps this could be done for £600 raising the total outlay at £1250. That’s still not a bad price for the car but, if it needs more I am just adding more good money to a bad situation and I personally cannot afford to take this risk.

The car was bought down in Luton and there it remains right now until I can find a way of getting it back to Northampton. I doubt it would make the journey as it barely goes a mile without over heating. But, back here it must come. My plan is to put it on eBay, warts and all, and see what happens. I can scrap it for £125 so, perhaps if I put that as a starting price I can get more, who knows, it’s what I feel is my best shot unless I know someone prepared to undertake the work for parts cost only and, I don’t think that’s a fair ask.

To fund this mistake I need to sell the other car ASAP. So, I have had to borrow some money to buy a third car I can use for work whilst I sell the other two. Hopefully, unless the planets are conspiring against me, I can make enough money back to cover the mess, if not then we’re screwed really. 

I am going to buy the most reliable car I can find for the price. It’s impossible to know what the future of a car will be but, hopefully it will work out this time.

This one will come from a garage. Have a fresh MOT and I know it’s history in every respect. Yes, I did a lot more research this time!

It’s not the sexist, most racy car on the planet but, it doesn’t need to be. I also went for a manuel this time around even though I’d prefer an automatic. I am going to upgrade the in car multimedia and navigation too as I need something for the amount of hours I spend at the wheel every day.

With each mess like this our travelling around Europe and getting back to the Philippines for Christmas seems less likely. I want that to happen so much. Worse yet, whilst I’ve been sorting out this mess I have been spending less and less time with Dennis and that makes me really miserable as well.

Today I was on my second call when a migraine hit and it totally floored me. I had to cut short my day and because I’d made myself Mr Unreliable, the company quite rightly covered all my shifts for tomorrow so I have lost even more money in lost work.

Am in need of a U-Turn on our fortunes I think, life isn’t being very OK about this.

For some reason the country is hooked into the notion that we are negotiating a good deal for the benefit of the country by leaving the European Union. That nice Mr Davies chappie heading back and forth to Brussels to tell those nasty foreigners what’s what and all that and Mrs May doing her bit preaching to the self same nasty Europeans to tell them we’re not budging whilst holding the hand of Donald Trump as a ploy to get his agreement on a good trade deal and … in a couple of years it’ll all be over and the United Kingdom will be shot of all those Europeans coming here taking our jobs, our houses, our benefits and all of those wonderful things the leave campaign sold to the people.

Some countries, Scotland and Northern Ireland, objected very heavily to the notion of leaving, you cannot tell an Irishman or a Scot a bad deal and expect them to go for it.

But, a bunch of old English and Welsh people, and it was mainly the old, wanted to go back to the ‘good old days’ when things were so much better. Where we all went to Church on Sunday instead of shopping, where everyone only ever spoke English with a BBC accent, even the cockneys. Oh yes for those heady days of church bells and cream teas.

Now …. let’s wind this back a lot because, where we are right now is buying into the very notion of what Brexit is but, it isn’t.

So, why did we have a referendum?

For years the Conservative party have suffered from disagreement over Europe. It consistently cost them votes and damaged their credibility. That nice David Cameron chappie decided that enough was enough, his party needed to unite else they’d have a minority government if they weren’t careful so, he plotted a cunning plan, one which would finally get his Eurosceptic colleagues to belt up for good. He was going to go to Europe, negotiate the very best deal for Britain that he could (think Thatcher without the handbag). Then he’d return and ask the people, do you want to accept this improved deal for the nation or take the damn stupid option and leave altogether? Not once did the notion that his balmy colleagues on the right of his party (yes, it’s possibly to be on the right of a right wing party) would put forward a campaign that enough people would believe to actually sway the country out of Europe. That was never the plan, it was meant to be business as usual and you chaps at the back who kept creating a Euro argument can now desist, the people have spoken.

Oh dear … £365m extra for the NHS, get rid of Jonny Foreigner … they were too good to resist to the elderly who never wanted things to change since the 1950’s. In their droves they bought into this argument that we’d get our country back, all those damn stupid rules we have to follow from Brussels would be scrapped. No more gays in the military, no more silly paternity for men and all that nancy stuff. They were going to get England back for real men, English men!

So, a plan simply conceived to unite the Conservative party has horribly backfired. We are on a path leading us to the cliff edge of Europe, destined to get ‘no deal’ leaving us desperate for ‘any’ deal from some other countries.

Ironically, all the promises sold to the leavers have been admitted to for being totally false. There is no extra money for the NHS, even if there were, this government would spend it on something else because they’re hell bent on dismantling the NHS. No worker or their family for elsewhere in Europe is going to be expected to leave, on the contrary, they’ll still be able to come here and settle up to two years after we’re no longer part of the EU. Margaret Thatcher would be turning in her grave! We’re to keep all the negative of being part of Europe without any positives and, worse still, no seat at the negotiating table.

The whole thing is a farce, the only hope we have is another referendum based on the outcome of the negotiations as to whether we’re still stupid enough to want to leave or not and let’s hope the next time people are given the facts

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let us just presume that, for a moment, Time Travel is a thing …. not for everyone, just for us, we have the DeLorean, it’s just us doing it.

You can go forward or backward, no limitations and as often as you like.

The first question would be, and really think about this, would you? You know, you might want to go back time, see a famous event, catch your favourite band before they split up, watch your parents get married or possibly just drop in on yourself years into the future and see how it all turns out … really, would you?

What if you had no choice, you’ve got to make 3 visits to the past, you’re past, you can only travel within your own lifetime.

I know a lot of people instantly think about this, they go back, stop themselves doing something really bad, prevent themselves getting involved with the wrong people, perhaps warning a tragically lost loved one and prevent their death. So many things happen to us in life we wish we could change, wish were just different. We long for certain memories not to be there for the hurt to go away. All valid thoughts but … this is where it gets interesting. Most of us, unless we really are up shits creek without a paddle, like an awful lot about our current lives. Perhaps value our friends, a loved one, children? What can we safely change which ensures we don’t lose any of the current stuff?

I’ve given this probably too much thought and can barely think of any significant event in my personal history I could change which doesn’t risk losing something good now. Even the most insignificant of changes can have huge consequences in our own timeline.

We could prevent a disastrous relationship but if we didn’t experience that, what would we have done with the time instead? It could change a whole string of subsequent events meaning that perhaps we would never have met a current partner, how can we be so sure where that one change will leave us?

Perhaps we consider changing the situation where we allowed someone into our circle which took us down a very dark path. Again, what do we do with all that time that person took up?

My conclusion is, any interference in any way with my own timeline has huge ramifications for every aspect of my current life.

The conclusion I reach is quite a comforting one, we need those experiences to be where we are today. All the good in our lives stems from the bad experiences as well as the positive ones. Try and think of a change you would make and let me know and also explain how you can be certain nothing will be lost.

It is the classic question of, if you could kill Hitler at birth, would you? Many come to the conclusion that he was a necessary evil, we’d rather he’d never have existed but, because he did we might have been spared from someone even more extreme and damaging.

It’s a fascinating subject and as I just stated, one I draw some comfort from. I don’t think we have to follow a given road in life, we have free choice but in hindsight, our experiences do seem to have needed to have happened.

I want (need) to talk about whistle blowing, reporting a colleague at work and my experience of it.

Trust me on this, it’s not something you would ever really want to do but, alongside that, how can you not?

Perhaps we and I know I presumed that if we’re ever in that situation then it’s going to be the colleague no one likes, we don’t like. That we are doing the company and other colleagues a good turn in ‘dobbing them in’.

What I actually found was quite different to that. I liked the person, they were one of the most popular people in the place and yet, here I was seeing something terrible wrong and not being able to control it. I decided to sleep on it, clear my mind and consider my options. I felt that if I reported the person my employer would likely act, it could affect the colleagues career. My career there had just started. I did not consider their career deserved to be damaged. I valued them enough to know that without the complication of me they would get over it and learn.

It is important for me to copy the first line of my ‘whistle blowing’ email here as I feel, without it part of the context of how I was feeling would be lost.

I am really sorry but I am resigning with immediate effect. I would like to take this chance to explain.

As you can see, I did not consider my further employment in the company was sustainable. 

I went on to detail various management issues that were not working for me (quickly addressed) but also, and at length the details I need to convey of abuse of a carer to a resident.

The company acted swiftly, the carer was interviews and a decision made. They continued to work there as I had hoped that they would. I was asked not to resign and I returned to work.

What followed was instant. Sadly, the colleague I’d reported was not discreet and had shared a version of events which did not entirely match what transpired. What I experienced was collegues being simply horrible to me. Blanking me, refusing to help me, gossip behind my back and, it hurt. n one occasion a resident was put at risk because an available colleague refused to work with me.

I never mentioned the situation, I didn’t share my viewpoint until I was actually asked outright by someone, one of the younger carers, what really happened because, he said, that what he had heard didn’t quite add up with me, the man he’d got to know.

Over time most colleagues mellowed but not all. I needed to speak out in front of all staff at a meeting about how they’d made me feel. It was quite humiliating for me.

Still, I have left there now and I hold no malice. Had my health not got the better of me I would still be working there. True, I don’t think the effort I needed to put in in order to earn respect again helped with my anxiety which was ultimately what finished me off and I truly hope those ex colleagues who treated me like that will, in future, either keep out of a similar situation or explore the full story before making a judgement. No one should ever take sides with whistle blowing. It’s not easy for anyone concerned. 

I’d still do it again though were the situation to occur.