Author: Steve Antipolo

Sure, I was ill but it was still a lovely visit to see Dennis and the family in the Philippines.

The illness wasn’t in any way pleasant, quite horrible. Even though I seem to be clear of tummy issues I still feel exhausted every day, it’s going to take a while to clear my system I think.

I created a video of my experience … it’s not long because I never intended for the trip to be a sightseeing holiday, it was just a getting to know you sort of thing.

The flight home went without any issues apart from just being too damned long!

3 hours waiting around in Manila then a 4 1/2 hour flight to Beijing. I had nearly 3 hours there before an 11 hour flight to London. I cleared the airport within 30 minutes and then another couple hours to get home. In all it was nearly a whole day to get from A-B. Of course, it’s rather a long way, about 7000 miles in a straight line so it’s never going to be quick. I reckon the quickest it can be done on a direct flight is maybe 20 hours.

I’ve included the picture so you can take a look.

Each day I seem to miss Dennis more which surprised me because I thought it might be full on at first then settling back into how we were before. That’s not my reality, all the time I am thinking about him, where we might go, what we might do, what to watch on TV and what to ear, so much really so I can’t wait until next spring when he is hopefully over here for a month.

Amazing as it seems I am two weeks through my visit here.

Some might be getting a little confused about why I am here. There is only one important reason and that is to be with Dennis. This isn’t a vacation to me, it’s just about having to travel to the Philippines because it is where Dennis happens to be. I’m still in very regular contact with home dealing with daily issues, the council, social services and so on. I am geographically away from it but technically still connected.

Obviously it’s cool to wander into Manila and see the place, travel in a Jeepney and so on. Wandering around the malls is fun but it is who I am with rather than where I am that matters most to me.

Highlights for me, apart from every second I spend with Dennis have to be meeting family and friends.

 

 

 

 

Veronica and her family and Imee of course who has kept me entertained for hours with conversation about anything and everything

 

 

Ireneo too tries real hard with his English and makes me feel welcome. Of course, my grasp of the local language is the reason I don’t communicate as much as I would like. I am hoping, now that I have heard it a lot more that I can contextualise better at home and learn a bit more.

 

 

‘Along’ or ‘Rusty’ or ‘Charles’ I really hope gets far in life. It’s quite difficult for me to accept that a younger person can be so willing to help older (not old) people. He just does what he is asked to do and often does most of it way before he is asked to do it. So many in the UK could learn a lot from people like Charles. I guess it is maybe a Filipino thing, something perhaps which used to happen in the UK but has been long since forgotten.

 

This is Grace and her family. I keep forgetting to get a picture of Teresita (is that the right spelling) though we’ve already met Twice. Veronica, Grace and Teresita are all Dennis’s sisters. Imee is a cousin and Charles a nephew.

All the family make me feel so welcome and make a huge effort to communicate apologising for their poor English. There is totally no need of course, it’s me who should speak the local dialect or, at least, their dialect. I am hugely grateful for all their efforts to involve me.

As well as family there are friends. Joy, sadly, needed to leave not long after I arrived. Last weekend I got to spend time with the lovely Richie and Andrew (Nanu) both here and at the Mall of Asia in Manila. Got to watch a really cool fireworks display too. Charles had never seen fireworks like that and I felt quite humbled to think how often I had and how much we take such things for granted. It really makes me feel like I want to personally raise this country to the level it should be but, I of course, can’t do that.

Sure, a few times the issue of the allegedly rich foreigner has raised its ugly head whereby some have presumed it’s OK for me to pay a small fortune but it’s totally not caused an issue and I think allowed a learning curve.

Coming was the right thing to do, thank you Steve C

and this is why …. me and Dennis together at last. Roll on next spring when hopefully he is in the UK with me for a visit and then full steam ahead to 2017

I wasn’t going to be particularly open about being in the Philippines at the moment. Bitter experience has shown me that there those who would wish to attack my happiness and I was trying to avoid that this time. As it happens social services are still doing a safeguarding investigation, that’s their way of saying they believe I did something to harm Zoey earlier in the year, they’re determined to find something. They won’t because there is nothing but they want to believe there is and there is nothing I can do about it. It’s not like a legal investigation, they don’t need to gather in all the evidence just that which they want that makes their accusation seem credible. From this they can reach any conclusion they want and make decisions upon it. I’d have to make a legal challenge at my own cost to disprove it. So, some evil, bitter person doing their worst, which is normally to contact the DWP, well, it’s not significant to me by comparison.

I am seeing the bigger longer term picture, me & Dennis. We’ve got a long way to go yet, a very long way. It’s going to be quite stressful and possibly expensive but we want ‘us’ and we’re going to fight for it. We were not brought together across the planet to give up if we get some knock backs.

For me, the greatest challenge is to learn enough of the language so as not to make my hosts feel awkward talking around me.

I couldn’t ask for a better, more loving partner then Dennis, he is beautiful inside out, I am very proud of him in so many ways. He is a teacher, what could be a more responsible profession? Educating the future of a nation. He sings beautifully … hey look, it’s a long list but shorter version is, I love him. What could be better than someone who holds us whilst we sleep? I hope I can be the man he needs me to be

There must be some countries which get it right but I know the UK doesn’t and has not done so my entire life.

What people seem to object to most if the identity of their country being destroyed. We have towns in the UK now which are almost totally dominated by alien cultures. It doesn’t matter where they are from, that’s not the point. Where we went wrong was that we’ve just never insisted that those who moved to the country had to do anything to embrace it. They were encouraged to move in and being their culture with them. We made a few suggestions that it might be useful to integrate but we never insisted. Many even third generation immigrants speak with accent of their great grandparents home, not this country. They were allowed to place demands for equality when it came to all things religion especially. The more moved in and refused to speak English, the more English speakers moved out. Easily created entire areas of the country many born here won’t recognize as England. My own birth town now has changed beyond recognition almost. In the small parade of shops so many now are not traditional British. It leaves a feeling that ‘they’ have taken over. My existing home town has seen a huge influx of Eastern Europeans. It’s possible to visit the town centre and not hear English now. That’s not right, it’s not pleasant when we go to the Spanish Costa’s and hear mainly English, we should feel we’re in Spain.

It must be impossible for indigenous culture to remain and dominate regardless of immigration. I don’t really know how but I know a start would be for us to stop being terrified of having the conversation in case we get labeled racist.