Author: Steve Antipolo

I spoke to the people at NHS Commissioning who had an all day meeting on October 14 with us and various others. She was meant to call me back with the conclusion late on 14th or early on 15th. No great surprise that she did neither.

Eventually I called them and discussed the issue. I discovered that Zoey has a named Social Worker who was meant to turn up on 14th and didn’t because Social Services decided that Zoey’s urgent case should be allocated to a social worker who was on annual leave until next week!

Next I called the hospital to complain, spoke to the deputy manager and he has agreed to arrange a meeting for me to talk to the consultant on Monday. This consultant has, apparently, said many times his need to meet with the family which is strange as I’d arranged two previous meetings with the man and he didn’t show up.

I’ve also put in a complaint about the lack of care at Berrywood Hospital to the Care Qualities Commission. I should imagine that won’t go any further than filing tray 13 but I have to try. Seems that two years ago on the same ward as Zoey, a patient hanged herself. She was known to have suicidal tendencies and even handed over a belt to staff as she herself was concerned of what she might do. Sadly, when they did handover this bit of information wasn’t passed on or recorded any way. During the next shift she was found dead hanging by her dressing gown chord. The issue was clearly highlighted as one of consistency and communication and the hospital assured the courts they were implementing changes. It seems they have gone back to their old ways.

Zoey has been attacking another patient. One member of staff believes it is because the lady doesn’t know her boundaries and keeps getting too close to Zoey and won’t stop talking. Has that filtered to anyone else? No, of course not! Zoey is now on 24/7 watch to protect the other patient. Take the easy route rather than be there to monitor the situation, learn from the observations and act on them, crisis management at its very worst.

I cannot do anything now until Monday, no one wants to take responsibility on a Friday, not before their weekend. Thankfully, next week remains free (so far) so I should be able to do all the things I need to do.

For me, immigration is not the issue top of my agenda other than how difficult it has become to genuinely get the person you love into this country. I guess that’s the opposite of what the Tories are about though.

If the people of this country have any issue with immigration at all it has nothing to do with the individuals settling here from other countries or even coming here to work, send money home and then eventually return to their European nation.

No, what people get really angry about is foreign nationals doing what the British did to other countries for years. They come here, they can’t be bothered to use our language, have no interest in our laws and customs, challenge our values and faith and rather than do what their country of origin would do and give them an official slap, we try and change the our country to accommodate them.

Being in the UK is a privilege, no one should have the right to come here and complain about how we do things any more than idiotic Britain’s have the right to go to places like Saudi Arabia, ignore their laws and think they are hard done by when they get punished in accordance with their laws.

This is our concern with immigration, terribly sorry if that doesn’t agree with the current Government policy of blame ’em all for everything … what’s the matter, are there not enough people left claiming benefits to blame now for policy decisions?

Yesterday was difficult for me. It was mum’s birthday, she’s have been 82 but she died 29 years ago at 52, that’s younger than I am now and shows, we never do know how long we have with someone.

When someone dies we never really do get over it, we just learn to live with our new reality. We often ask ourselves what life would have been like if they were still here. I know for me, with mum, I felt she never really met me. Not the real me that I am today. She only knew this scared screwed up version of me, the one who only ever did what he thought he was meant to do and had no idea I could do what I wanted to do. Her reaction might have been totally negative but, I’d have liked to know.

Not many people who know me now knew mum and they may think to themselves, it’s 29 years, get over it. But, mum didn’t know my children or my grandchildren either. All the pleasures I have enjoyed she missed out on. She knew Jermaine was on his way but that’s as close as she got.

On another note, earlier on today I was chatting to Dennis, like I do, on Skype, he was tired and when I came back from getting a coffee he was asleep on the screen. It was like heaven just sitting here watching him sleeping, when he woke up he smiled and, well, it was one of ‘those’ moments that I wanted to last forever.

I am really nervous about the future, there are going to be so many changes and, easier as it is to just ride with it I want to take control of this, if I can. I need to live my life the right way, for me. For the family too but being honest about what I need, how I am going to move forward.

Prayers are said regularly, it helps me. Is it stuff just working out or am I getting some help? I don’t know, no one does but, it’s a nice thought that there might be some intervention going on.

I am quite convinced now that we’ve turned the corner with Zoey. I am going on my gut here but I feel she’s not going to revert back to how she was once she’s home.

Speaking of home, I don’t think it will be long. I shall know more tomorrow possibly but all of us now feel that keeping her there does more harm than good. It’s also apparent that some of the patients there are not the sort of people Zoey should be mixing with at all.

We were sat in a meeting earlier when this very well dressed lady came in the room and sat down. Long story short, turns out she’s a patient. She was adamant she was not leaving. We eventually had to leave the room ourselves whilst the heavy mob dealt with her kicking and screaming. It was quite scary and intimidating how cold this woman was. She looked like someone who would think nothing of shooting everyone in the room given the chance.

Anyway, we need to wait see what is going to happen but I feel optimism is appropriate.

Don’t get carried away, I also think I’ve got an uphill struggle getting the sort of package in place from Social Services that Zoey is going to need. It’s a long road yet but, hopefully, by just the other side of Christmas we might have it all in place.